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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 72254--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: mime Date: December 6, 2021, 4:11 pm
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Oh my goodness, Aleko, I'm sorry. What a kindness you are doing
for her, to keep honoring her need for her traditions.
Do you do any handwork (like knitting) that you could do, to
engage your mind a bit and at least give you a sense of
accomplishing something? I'm sure you've considered your options
by now, so pardon me for grasping at a few straws for you!
#Post#: 72261--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: peony Date: December 6, 2021, 10:42 pm
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Aleko.
#Post#: 72263--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: Aleko Date: December 7, 2021, 1:52 am
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[quote]Do you do any handwork (like knitting) that you could do,
to engage your mind a bit and at least give you a sense of
accomplishing something? I'm sure you've considered your options
by now, so pardon me for grasping at a few straws for
you![/quote]
Ha! You’re bang on the money! Way back when we used to go to her
house for Christmas to be corralled in her overheated living
room all day, I used to take my cross-stitch with me. She used
to trill admiringly, ‘Oh, what a diligent girl Aleko is, working
at her sewing even on Christmas Day!’ It never crossed her mind
that I was doing it in self-defence.
It’s actually a lot better in that respect now we’re in charge:
on Christmas Day we insist on bringing a tiny light lunch of
delectable seafood round to her, so that at least something
Christmassy happens in her house, then we go home while she has
an afternoon snooze, and she comes round to us later on for
Christmas dinner. And when we can get her and DH settled in
front of a good cheesy old movie, I’ve always got the excuse of
seeing to the bread sauce to take myself off. No, it’s the empty
chair I dread this year. For many years DH and I went on an
annual skiing holiday with my parents; we had great times. The
year after my mother died we made the mistake of going as a
threesome, and it was terrible. There was no ignoring the
missingness of Mum.
#Post#: 72289--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: mime Date: December 7, 2021, 11:19 pm
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That makes sense to me. After my dad died we all felt better
changing a few of our traditions around to lessen the feeling of
his absence.
#Post#: 72305--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: STiG Date: December 8, 2021, 3:55 pm
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My Dad passed away on November 7th. Christmas hasn't been the
same for a while - no Christmas at all last year and the year
before, we had Christmas at my house but people just stayed for
the gifts and the meal and then left again. Normally, we'd get
together at one house and stay a couple of nights. So things
have already changed.
So my husband and I will have our own quiet Christmas, maybe
with his mom, have a meal with his daughter and SIL and MIL on a
day close to Christmas then up to my brother's place for the
30th. Not sure if we will stay over to the 31st then head back
down - it's a 4 hour drive and we'd be doing the drive home
completely in the dark so will likely stay, weather depending.
Next year will be completely different; grandbaby will be born -
due January 14th - and DsD and SIL will likely host everyone so
they can stay home and not travel. Which will be chaotic but a
nice change.
#Post#: 72335--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: Winterlight Date: December 9, 2021, 10:27 pm
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After my mom died, I stopped doing anything Christmassy (I am
Jewish but mom was not.) So I turned Christmas into a spa day,
with pedicures or facials or whatever sounded good that year. It
made things easier on me and I felt less depressed. This year
it's going to be a pampering day because I have dental surgery
on the 23rd.
#Post#: 72377--------------------------------------------------
Re: 1st holiday after death in the family
By: Rain Date: December 10, 2021, 9:53 pm
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Ouch.
I broke down in tears tonight, it's going to be my first X-mas
without mom and DS graduates from college in May (and is
planning on spending x-mas with his dad/my ex) (holidays with my
ex's family were great, current DH's family boring)
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