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#Post#: 70276--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Segregated Wedding?
By: Gellchom Date: September 21, 2021, 3:43 pm
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[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2162.msg70235#msg70235
date=1632168125]
[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2162.msg70198#msg70198
date=1632005734]
If I was invited to a wedding such as described I'd go just for
the experience. I don't agree with the idea that the sexes must
be separated, for almost any reason, and I don't agree at all
that women can be disrespected by being treated as inferior to
men, but I do respect other cultures and their right to think
and act according to their beliefs. I agree with others who say
that family members ought to attend this kind of wedding,
because they are, well, a member of the family.
[/quote]
I'm not a radical feminist, but, I am a bit of a militant one.
To explain: I don't think everyone needs to have the same
culture as me, but when it comes to disrespecting and treating
women as inferior, that's where I draw the line. (I am too
conscious of how badly women have been treated throughout
history and in many ways and many places still are.) So, it
would really depend on that. What's the groom like? Is he just
going along with this because his family insisted or is he going
to expect his new wife to live as an inferior for the rest of
her marriage? What are the in-laws really like the rest of the
time? How are the women treated, specifically? Some families
just like to uphold traditions for special occasions.
[/quote]
I am very much a feminist, and I don’t see anything suggesting
that the women’s reception will be inferior or that the women
will be disrespected. That seems to have been speculation by
people commenting on the letter.
I don’t think it matters which invitation was first, one of the
few times it wouldn’t. This is his sister’s wedding. Skipping
it for a friend’s would be dropping the big one.
#Post#: 70296--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Segregated Wedding?
By: Hmmm Date: September 22, 2021, 8:36 am
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[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=2162.msg70276#msg70276
date=1632257022]
[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2162.msg70235#msg70235
date=1632168125]
[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=2162.msg70198#msg70198
date=1632005734]
If I was invited to a wedding such as described I'd go just for
the experience. I don't agree with the idea that the sexes must
be separated, for almost any reason, and I don't agree at all
that women can be disrespected by being treated as inferior to
men, but I do respect other cultures and their right to think
and act according to their beliefs. I agree with others who say
that family members ought to attend this kind of wedding,
because they are, well, a member of the family.
[/quote]
I'm not a radical feminist, but, I am a bit of a militant one.
To explain: I don't think everyone needs to have the same
culture as me, but when it comes to disrespecting and treating
women as inferior, that's where I draw the line. (I am too
conscious of how badly women have been treated throughout
history and in many ways and many places still are.) So, it
would really depend on that. What's the groom like? Is he just
going along with this because his family insisted or is he going
to expect his new wife to live as an inferior for the rest of
her marriage? What are the in-laws really like the rest of the
time? How are the women treated, specifically? Some families
just like to uphold traditions for special occasions.
[/quote]
I am very much a feminist, and I don’t see anything suggesting
that the women’s reception will be inferior or that the women
will be disrespected. That seems to have been speculation by
people commenting on the letter.
I don’t think it matters which invitation was first, one of the
few times it wouldn’t. This is his sister’s wedding. Skipping
it for a friend’s would be dropping the big one.
[/quote]
I agree. Most people know when a sibling's wedding is going to
be well before an invitation is sent. The LW isn't implying that
he or his girlfriend is so close to the other couple that they
are attendants in the wedding, just close friends. Having to
miss a close friend's wedding because of a family obligation is
a lot more understandable than bailing on a sibling's wedding
because you want to attend a friend's event. I guess it would be
different if you had already RSVP'd for a friend's event and a
sibling announced a spur of the moment wedding that was being
planned in a 2 months time frame. But that doesn't sound like
his sister's wedding was planned last minute.
#Post#: 70313--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Segregated Wedding?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 22, 2021, 6:41 pm
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I had to miss my sister-in-law's baby shower because a friend's
wedding was planned for the same day. I had RSVPed for the
wedding prior to learning of plans for the baby shower. I still
feel awful to this day. :'( (And to make matters worse, it was
the wedding that I described in the other thread where no one
really wanted to talk with me.)
#Post#: 70947--------------------------------------------------
Re: Gender Segregated Wedding?
By: jazzgirl205 Date: October 17, 2021, 10:27 pm
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[quote author=Wanaca link=topic=2162.msg70173#msg70173
date=1631964552]
I don't think this would bother me at all. I've been to
countless events and family gathering where this naturally
happens. The females tend to gather together in the kitchen
area and the menfolk are somewhere else. There aren't any rules
about it, but it just naturally happens. This type of wedding
would be different for me, but I'd roll with it without any
negative preconceptions.
[/quote]
This. We do a lot of gender segregated things: book clubs,
bunco, poker nights, showers, debutante teas. It wouldn't
bother me at all (although I prefer the company of men over
women). I would go and have a good time and consider it a new
adventure.
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