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       #Post#: 72151--------------------------------------------------
       Re: What the heck is wrong with people?
       By: holly firestorm Date: December 1, 2021, 2:57 pm
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       [quote author=Soop link=topic=2160.msg72133#msg72133
       date=1638371285]
       [quote author=MarmaladeMom link=topic=2160.msg72128#msg72128
       date=1638327806]
       At our wedding my husband’s uncle took it upon himself to
       package up most of the unserved food (meat mostly) and give it
       to his own kids. Not to us, not to anyone who had had a hand in
       actually preparing food for a  couple of hundred people, just
       his own kids. Without asking.
       We only found out when my husband looked for something to eat
       afterwards (we never had a chance to eat more than a bite of
       cake). More than 20 years later my husband is still bitter.
       [/quote]
       Still a little bitter that I didn't get any of the passed apps
       at my wedding, cause we were doing the receiving line. Not
       really anyone's fault. At a friends wedding years later, the
       receiving line wound past tables of apps and as he was going
       through, Mr S made up a couple plates and took them to the
       bridal party. They were very grateful.
       [/quote]
       Quite a few years ago I went to an after hours (after the Star
       Wars convention hours) buffet thrown by one of the larger Star
       Wars groups. The person arranging it had limited funds. She got
       as much snack food as she could given that budget and asked the
       early arrivals to please be considerate of the later arrivals.
       Apparently they were all Sith[emoji3], because when I got there
       (and not that late either) there was a little bit of green salad
       and very few snacks left. The early arrivals took as much as
       they could fit on their plates and to hell with the rest of us.
       #Post#: 76031--------------------------------------------------
       Here's another one
       By: vintagegal Date: June 24, 2022, 5:50 am
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  HTML https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2022/06/24
       First
       letter,
       "We have about a dozen fruit trees at our home. We fertilize,
       prune and care for them ourselves. When the fruit is on the
       trees, we have invited a few specific people, usually from our
       church, to come pick some. When I invited one church member to
       come and get some fruit, imagine my surprise when she arrived
       with a caravan of folks, none of whom I knew! The person I'd
       invited said, in a very loud voice in front of everyone, "Well,
       you can see I brought friends."
       One of the children in the group was climbing the trees, and I
       was horrified -- especially since lawyers in our area like to
       heavily advertise the large settlements they win for clients.
       This group nearly stripped the trees. Obviously, I will never
       invite her again, but is there anything that I could have said
       to discourage this at the time?"
       How about "HELL NO!! Tell your friends to get back in their
       cars."
       #Post#: 76034--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Here's another one
       By: Hmmm Date: June 24, 2022, 12:25 pm
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       [quote author=vintagegal link=topic=2160.msg76031#msg76031
       date=1656067848]
  HTML https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2022/06/24
       First
       letter,
       "We have about a dozen fruit trees at our home. We fertilize,
       prune and care for them ourselves. When the fruit is on the
       trees, we have invited a few specific people, usually from our
       church, to come pick some. When I invited one church member to
       come and get some fruit, imagine my surprise when she arrived
       with a caravan of folks, none of whom I knew! The person I'd
       invited said, in a very loud voice in front of everyone, "Well,
       you can see I brought friends."
       One of the children in the group was climbing the trees, and I
       was horrified -- especially since lawyers in our area like to
       heavily advertise the large settlements they win for clients.
       This group nearly stripped the trees. Obviously, I will never
       invite her again, but is there anything that I could have said
       to discourage this at the time?"
       How about "HELL NO!! Tell your friends to get back in their
       cars."
       [/quote]
       I read that this morning and was stunned. I would have handed
       the guest one basket and said "That's a lot of people to help
       pick one basket of fruit."  And why couldn't the OP say "Kids,
       get out of the trees. I don't want you to hurt one of your limbs
       or one of my tree limbs. Only pick the fruit you can reach from
       the ground."
       #Post#: 76038--------------------------------------------------
       Re: What the heck is wrong with people?
       By: Gellchom Date: June 24, 2022, 3:24 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=lowspark link=topic=2160.msg72105#msg72105
       date=1638280040]
       [quote author=Aleko link=topic=2160.msg72102#msg72102
       date=1638263195]
       It has been a revelation to me, from this side of the Pond, that
       in the USA it appears to be the rule at a major family gathering
       to provide so much too much food that there are expectedto be
       large quantities of useable leftovers, so much that guests can
       expect or at least hope to be sent home with enough food to
       provide them with whole meals, and that ‘who gets the
       leftovers?’ is consequently an issue. I don’t know any British
       family where this kind of over-catering* is normal. Personally,
       I aim to serve enough that everyone gets to eat as much at
       dinner as they could possibly want, and any leftovers go toward
       my Boxing Day and subsequent menus. Can other Rightpondians here
       say whether their experience is the same or different? How about
       you Australians?
       *I wonder if this is linked to the portion sizes at American
       restaurants? In Europe restaurants don’t serve, and aren’t
       expected to serve, more food than an average diner is likely to
       want to eat at a sitting; as a result, asking for leftovers to
       take home is quite unusual. Restaurants will do it, but
       generally people ask only if they’re in a hurry and don’t have
       the time to sit and eat the dessert they ordered, or find their
       appetite less than they expected. I only know one place in my
       locality that serves a 16 oz steak - which is a monster size to
       us - and I’ve only known people order it when they really mean
       to eat it all at a sitting. They don’t always succeed, but
       that’s their intent. I don’t know anyone who would order a steak
       that size meaning to have half of it to take home.
       [/quote]
       When I have guests at my house for a meal, one of my concerns is
       that I have enough for everyone to be satiated. So I don't want
       to run out of anything. The only way I can really guarantee that
       is to have too much. Or at least, that's how I see it.
       I seldom have a meal where I serve an exact portion, rather it's
       "serve yourself" so people take as much as they want. People's
       appetites and capacity can be hard to predict. So if I just
       served what I consider to be one serving per person, it's almost
       guaranteed that something will run out. Some people want less of
       one thing and more of another. If I only made the exact amount
       per person, there won't be enough of some things. It's nothing
       to do with portion sizes at restaurants.
       Regarding who gets those leftovers, well, that varies among
       different groups of people. In my family of origin, the
       leftovers stay at the hosting home. No one "takes" them. In some
       groups of friends, we have potlucks and we all split up
       leftovers, taking a bit of everything. In some potluck
       situations, everyone takes home their own. One friend of mine
       always leaves her leftovers with me when I host. So it's very
       much an individual preference thing rather than a norm across
       the board.
       As for ordering a 16 oz steak - which is a monster size to me as
       well - with no intention of eating all of it, well, that's just
       the way it is here. If the menu consists of large portions, I'm
       not going to eat the whole thing just to justify my ordering it.
       So yeah, many times I'll order from the appetizer menu, or split
       with a dining companion, but sometimes, you just have to order
       from your choices and you either take home the rest or it goes
       in the trash. And some restaurant servings end up making three
       or four meals for me! I love leftovers!
       [/quote]
       I agree with every paragraph!
       We often bring home restaurant leftovers, and sometimes even
       order at a restaurant with the intent of taking some of it home.
       And I definitely make more food than we will eat at a sitting,
       certainly if there are guests.
       But then, I love leftovers!
       #Post#: 76040--------------------------------------------------
       Re: What the heck is wrong with people?
       By: Titanica Date: June 24, 2022, 4:08 pm
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       Speaking only for myself, if I'm cooking for a lot of people,
       I'll make a lot of things because I want there to be something
       for everyone.  You don't always know ahead of time who doesn't
       like or can't eat what food, so you make a lot in the hopes that
       everyone will have enough options.  If that means we end up with
       a lot of leftovers, so be it.  With 6 adults in the house,
       they'll get eaten!
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