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       #Post#: 69495--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: gramma dishes Date: August 22, 2021, 8:22 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Depends on the makeup of the group.   Some groups wouldn't even
       notice.  Others might think she's making very clear that she
       sees herself as being superior (at least financially) to the
       others.
       #Post#: 69496--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: NFPwife Date: August 22, 2021, 9:10 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=2146.msg69495#msg69495
       date=1629681760]
       Depends on the makeup of the group.   Some groups wouldn't even
       notice.  Others might think she's making very clear that she
       sees herself as being superior (at least financially) to the
       others.
       [/quote]
       They'll notice when they're walking past her to coach. :)
       I'm at a point in my life where, if I don't get a system
       upgrade, I use miles for any flight over six hours. If I don't
       have miles to use, I'll pay for the upgrade if it's reasonable.
       If the fellow travelers might think she thinks she's superior to
       them she could blame her DH - "DH bought my ticket, look how
       sweet he is, he bought a first class ticket."
       Personally, I wouldn't say anything until the flight was
       boarding and say, "That's my group. I'm in first for this leg of
       the trip," and board.
       If I were traveling with close friends, I'd message them when
       purchasing the upgrade and say, "I'm using miles to upgrade to
       first, the price difference to first looks like $X or Xmiles in
       case you're interested."
       #Post#: 69508--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: Jem Date: August 23, 2021, 9:21 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I am actually more "concerned" with the descriptions of
       "secondary" friends than I am with Missy flying first class.
       That's weird to me and cliquish.
       I don't think that Missy should have to fly coach if she doesn't
       want to. She isn't expecting anyone else to subsidize the costs
       of her upgrade. Different people have different financial
       situations and/or prioritize different things. Does this group
       judge people negatively for wearing expensive jewelry when some
       don't? Or expensive clothing or handbags or shoes? Is there a
       comparison of the size/style/cost of the homes they live in? The
       costs of the colleges they send their kids to?
       None of the group knows about the first class upgrade and I
       don't think it's any of their business. I don't think Missy
       should have to hide it, but to me it would be like making sure
       everyone was okay with me ordering a more expensive entree at
       dinner. Who cares if I am paying for it?
       #Post#: 69509--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: STiG Date: August 23, 2021, 11:47 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       If everyone got together and booked at the same time, paying to
       choose seat numbers so that they were all sitting together?
       Then it would be a bit off for Misty to book in first class.
       But if they all booked separately and the seating will be
       random, then Misty is fine.  I'd be a bit jealous because I
       absolutely would book first class if I could afford it but I
       wouldn't think much of it.
       #Post#: 69510--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: Rose Red Date: August 23, 2021, 11:55 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jem link=topic=2146.msg69508#msg69508
       date=1629728474]
       I am actually more "concerned" with the descriptions of
       "secondary" friends than I am with Missy flying first class.
       That's weird to me and cliquish.
       [/quote]
       Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think secondary friends just mean
       "friend of a friend." I don't think there's any insult meant.
       For example, I went on vacation with my best friend "Jane" and
       she invited her cousin (we've never met before). We all had a
       blast. We've seen each other since because of Jane and enjoy
       each other's company. But that's the extent of our friendship.
       Jane is our connection and we're secondary friends to each
       other.
       #Post#: 69511--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: Hmmm Date: August 23, 2021, 1:44 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       It wouldn't bother me at all. For all anyone will know, she used
       mileage to upgrade her seat. I'd probably have a different
       opinion if it was just 2 traveling companions. But even then, I
       probably wouldn't begrudge a friend upgrading if they could.
       I've done enough international travel alone to not be bothered
       by sitting by myself.
       #Post#: 69513--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: bopper Date: August 23, 2021, 2:25 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My spouse always got upgraded to First class because of their
       frequent flyer status... I didn't mind because he was large and
       he and I would be more comfortable if he was in a bigger seat.
       But he would send back the ice cream sundaes when they had them.
       I would use a white lie like "I got upgraded because of my
       status" or "I was using miles but this was all that was left"
       and bring them a treat from first class.
       #Post#: 69515--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: oogyda Date: August 23, 2021, 2:30 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=2146.msg69495#msg69495
       date=1629681760]
       Depends on the makeup of the group.   Some groups wouldn't even
       notice.  Others might think she's making very clear that she
       sees herself as being superior (at least financially) to the
       others.
       [/quote]
       I don't know the group.  I've only met one of the other women as
       she was the hairdresser for Missy and DHFriend's  DD's wedding.
       The bolded is an air that I observe from her frequently.
       Nothing blatant or obnoxious, but it comes through loud and
       clear sometimes.
       #Post#: 69519--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: Isisnin Date: August 23, 2021, 3:53 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Jem link=topic=2146.msg69508#msg69508
       date=1629728474]
       I am actually more "concerned" with the descriptions of
       "secondary" friends than I am with Missy flying first class.
       That's weird to me and cliquish.
       I don't think that Missy should have to fly coach if she doesn't
       want to. She isn't expecting anyone else to subsidize the costs
       of her upgrade. Different people have different financial
       situations and/or prioritize different things. Does this group
       judge people negatively for wearing expensive jewelry when some
       don't? Or expensive clothing or handbags or shoes? Is there a
       comparison of the size/style/cost of the homes they live in? The
       costs of the colleges they send their kids to?
       None of the group knows about the first class upgrade and I
       don't think it's any of their business. I don't think Missy
       should have to hide it, but to me it would be like making sure
       everyone was okay with me ordering a more expensive entree at
       dinner. Who cares if I am paying for it?
       [/quote]
       [quote author=oogyda link=topic=2146.msg69515#msg69515
       date=1629747006]
       [quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=2146.msg69495#msg69495
       date=1629681760]
       Depends on the makeup of the group.   Some groups wouldn't even
       notice.  Others might think she's making very clear that she
       sees herself as being superior (at least financially) to the
       others.
       [/quote]
       I don't know the group.  I've only met one of the other women as
       she was the hairdresser for Missy and DHFriend's  DD's wedding.
       The bolded is an air that I observe from her frequently.
       Nothing blatant or obnoxious, but it comes through loud and
       clear sometimes.
       [/quote]
       Being seated in a different area from the others during the
       flight is fine. That's happened a couple times with different
       traveling companions. I need a window to rest my head against,
       others have needed leg room, others aisle (for bathroom access,
       usually). Last time we were so far apart we might have well been
       in different classes.
       It is Missy's choice, but I couldn't help but wonder if her
       preference for the finer/more expensive things might also occur
       during the rest of the trip. Travelling with others requires
       going along to get along. Having to split the check each time by
       who ordered what is such a pain as opposed to splitting evenly.
       As is "Ill take a cab and meet you there." vs travelling
       together and someone(s) late or goes to the wrong place. etc.
       Here's hopin' they have a wonderful trip!
       #Post#: 69523--------------------------------------------------
       Re: First class or coach?
       By: Jem Date: August 23, 2021, 5:50 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Isisnin link=topic=2146.msg69519#msg69519
       date=1629752016]
       It is Missy's choice, but I couldn't help but wonder if her
       preference for the finer/more expensive things might also occur
       during the rest of the trip. Travelling with others requires
       going along to get along. Having to split the check each time by
       who ordered what is such a pain as opposed to splitting evenly.
       As is "Ill take a cab and meet you there." vs travelling
       together and someone(s) late or goes to the wrong place. etc.
       [/quote]
       I agree that good travel companions must be compatible but I
       don't think that means that everyone has to agree on everything
       all of the time. There is nothing wrong with enjoying "the finer
       things," and I don't think anyone should have to apologize for
       that. I don't like to split checks in general because someone is
       going to be shortchanged. I don't like to be resentful if I am
       shortchanged, and I don't like to feel like I owe someone if
       someone else is shortchanged. I prefer to either treat everyone
       or pay for only myself/my immediate family.
       [quote author=bopper link=topic=2146.msg69513#msg69513
       date=1629746709]
       I would use a white lie like "I got upgraded because of my
       status" or "I was using miles but this was all that was left"
       and bring them a treat from first class.
       [/quote]
       I don't think anyone owes any explanation, and I think it would
       be rude to ask how someone "affords" to upgrade to first class.
       Maybe it was a free upgrade, maybe it was something the person
       really valued and paid full price for. I don't think it is
       anything to be ashamed of or to lie about, white lie or
       otherwise!
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