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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 69457--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: August 20, 2021, 3:42 pm
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I love the IPO designation. It's a shame people either a. don't
understand that or b. decide that their circumstances are unique
enough that etiquette rules don't apply to them.
Given your updates, I'd definitely make clear to Jane that her
daughter was not invited and I'd bounce the out of towner you
don't know. The one you sort of know is a bit different.
I was telling my husband about this and he said, "I'd let
everyone come to this one and then would only invite these
people to parties at the McDonald's Play Land. Hope they like
orange drink." Like you husband he wouldn't want to set
boundaries around the guest list, but it would impact if they
were invited to anything ever again. Except of course at McD's.
#Post#: 69488--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: katiekat2009
Date: August 22, 2021, 3:16 pm
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I'm interested in an update when you decide what you are going
to do. Personally, I would cancel (blame Covid) and reschedule
later with just the guests I wanted to attend.
#Post#: 69489--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: Gellchom
Date: August 22, 2021, 4:47 pm
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--- Quote from: katiekat2009 link ---
>
> I'm interested in an update when you decide what you are going
to do. Personally, I would cancel (blame Covid) and reschedule
later with just the guests I wanted to attend.
>
--- End Quote ---
You know, that's a really good idea.
#Post#: 69493--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: August 22, 2021, 8:05 pm
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--- Quote from: katiekat2009 link ---
>
> I'm interested in an update when you decide what you are going
to do. Personally, I would cancel (blame Covid) and reschedule
later with just the guests I wanted to attend.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, currently there is a serious resurgence of Covid with the
Delta variant and that would give you yet another excuse for
putting it off again. Then when you issue the new invitations,
you could make VERY clear right up front that they are personal
and not general and seats are limited to those actually invited.
#Post#: 69497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: August 22, 2021, 9:12 pm
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--- Quote from: gramma dishes link ---
>
> [quote author=katiekat2009 link=topic=2143.msg69488#msg69488
date=1629663386]
> I'm interested in an update when you decide what you are going
to do. Personally, I would cancel (blame Covid) and reschedule
later with just the guests I wanted to attend.
>
--- End Quote ---
Yes, currently there is a serious resurgence of Covid with the
Delta variant and that would give you yet another excuse for
putting it off again. Then when you issue the new invitations,
you could make VERY clear right up front that they are personal
and not general and seats are limited to those actually invited.
[/quote]
If the restaurant will let you re-schedule without penalty,
that's a good out. Then, you can re-schedule with a very clear
delineation on guests. (Or call my DH and he'll coordinate with
your local McDonald's.)
#Post#: 69718--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: JeanFromBNA
Date: August 31, 2021, 2:33 pm
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Dinner went fine. Dave and Jane ended up coming without anyone.
Charles brought Pam, who we had met before. He goes out with her
occasionally. She was pleasant.
Dave gave my husband a $75 gift certificate to Starbucks. DH has
never liked coffee. Write a TYN or call it even?
#Post#: 69719--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: Gellchom
Date: August 31, 2021, 3:22 pm
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That’s a pretty generous gift. A little surprising if he knows
he doesn’t like coffee, but Starbucks sells a lot of other
things, too.
If he opened the gift in Dave’s presence and thanked him then,
he can get away without a note, but a note, email, or a text
would still be nice. His dislike of coffee is irrelevant.
I’m glad the party worked out fine.
Happy birthday!
#Post#: 69720--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: August 31, 2021, 3:23 pm
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--- Quote from: JeanFromBNA link ---
>
> Dinner went fine. Dave and Jane ended up coming without
anyone. Charles brought Pam, who we had met before. He goes out
with her occasionally. She was pleasant.
>
> Dave gave my husband a $75 gift certificate to Starbucks. DH
has never liked coffee. Write a TYN or call it even?
>
--- End Quote ---
That's a good update. I wonder if Dave and Jane thought better
of it? Or if their plus ones thought better of it?
To the gift card, write the thank you note. Starbucks has other
things besides coffee, he might be pleasantly surprised if he
drops in for a look.
#Post#: 69721--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: August 31, 2021, 3:26 pm
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--- Quote from: JeanFromBNA link ---
>
> Dinner went fine. Dave and Jane ended up coming without
anyone. Charles brought Pam, who we had met before. He goes out
with her occasionally. She was pleasant.
>
> Dave gave my husband a $75 gift certificate to Starbucks. DH
has never liked coffee. Write a TYN or call it even?
>
--- End Quote ---
DH should send a thank you note. It's still a gift even if it's
not something you want. And $75 is a generous gift.
Starbucks has other drinks and food/baked goods other than
coffee. They have mugs and tumblers. He can buy a bag of coffee
as a gift for someone else.
I'm puzzled by what you mean when you said "call it even." Dave
was invited and he didn't bring an extra guest.
#Post#: 70692--------------------------------------------------
Re: Guest list debacle
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: October 7, 2021, 10:07 am
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I might call these people and say, "I'm sorry, I think it wasn't
clear about this event. We were a little dismayed to hear you
want to bring someone. That actually creates a problem--we
didn't intend to make it a party for everyone; it was supposed
to be a small dinner for people who actually know DH from his
martial art. it's $200 a plate." And wait to see what they say.
They might back down. If they don't, then you can say, "Given
how expensive it is, you can understand why we're going to ask
you to come alone."
Or maybe ask them? "I don't know if you realize, this is a
$200-a-plate dinner, and I had wanted it to be for people my
husband worked closely with. Do you think we could get together
with your daughter another time?"
All these people are rude.
There are tactics one could discuss to try to head this off.
It's frustrating that anyone would need to.
For a meal this expensive/formal, it would be better perhaps to
use the "formal wedding reception" format. But we all know what
a perfect track record that has.
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