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#Post#: 69223--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 13, 2021, 9:57 am
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[quote author=pjeans link=topic=2137.msg69197#msg69197
date=1628807619]
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=2137.msg69170#msg69170
date=1628776303]
I scolded a relative's dog recently for jumping on me and got
told not to yell at the dog because it's their house not mine.
I didn't yell but I was admittedly pretty sharp.
My response to the relative was that they shouldn't be jumping
on people whether it's their house or not. Needless to say it
was a little chilly after that.
[/quote]
This is the problem here: sure it's their house, but it's YOUR
body that dog is jumping on! That would be like my kids
insisting on sitting on visitors' laps and eating off their
plates, while I just defend their actions by stating "it's their
house."
I completely agree with another poster's suggestion to raise
your knee to block the jump. I've done exactly that with my own
relative's horribly behaved dog and it works wonders.
Sadly we also cut back on how much we see that relative because
they refuse to control the dog... And I refuse to let my kids
get hurt by it :(
[/quote]
Right. The "it's her house not yours" really churned by butter.
I would never presume to scold for other things like getting up
on furniture and I've never asked for the animals to be put away
( although I would love it if they did ). But I think anyone is
well within their rights to defnd their person and possessions.
#Post#: 69224--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 13, 2021, 10:01 am
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[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2137.msg69207#msg69207
date=1628821287]
[quote author=Jem link=topic=2137.msg69191#msg69191
date=1628792010]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2137.msg69185#msg69185
date=1628790004]
I think it would be best for you to visit these people on
neutral territory where dogs are not permitted.
[/quote]
I agree. Another thing that makes me crazy is outdoor patios
that allow dogs and owners who do not control their pets.
Especially when eating I don't personally want animals near me.
Also, when going out as a group and someone brings a dog so that
the only available seating would be on a patio so the entire
party has to wait when everyone else would prefer to sit
indoors.
[/quote]
I don't know where you live. But, I can tell you that US laws do
not allow non-service dogs in restaurants. When it comes to
patios, I'm not 100% sure. But, if your pooch pampering pal is
invited to go out to dinner with you and the majority of the
party would prefer to dine inside, unless the pooch is an SD
(and that does NOT include 'Emotional Support Animals'), the
rest of you need to tell her you won't tolerate it anymore and
she needs to leave pampered poochie at home.
[/quote]
I'm in Canada and a lot of establishments are becoming "pet
friendly". And the ones that don't allow dogs don't really
enforce the rules. Too many people claim it's a therapy dog or
emotional support animal and the staff are afraid to challenge
it.
But real service animals are well trained and well behaved.
#Post#: 69227--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: STiG Date: August 13, 2021, 11:15 am
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*Sheepishly raises hand* Owner of unruly dogs here. We do
train them but there are four of them. They are dachshund/shi
tzu crosses - the largest weighs about 25 pounds, the smallest
about 18. There is an alpha male, alpha female, beta male and
omega male in the pack. When the alphas and beta start barking
because someone has come in the door, the omega loses his little
mind and goes nuts. We do use a command and follow up with
water bottle squirts if they don't respond to the verbal. But
they get so worked up that even with all the training, they
don't calm down. However, we have them blocked off so they
can't greet people at the door. We herd them back so guests can
come in and sit down and then we let them approach, if the guest
is OK with it. The omega stays with us. Eventually, if people
are around enough, they will all warm up to them and beyond the
barking when they come in, it's all good.
DH came with six dogs - three adults and three puppies. Two of
the puppies were rehomed but the third one is now the omega.
He's a neurotic little guy. I'm home all day and I do my best
to be consistent with them but there are days where I run out of
patience and/or energy and they don't get consistent discipline
as a result. I try but sometimes it's just too much. Like
today - workmen all over the neighbourhood, installing fibre
line. When we lose these guys, I'm going to insist on a maximum
of two dogs going forward.
#Post#: 69235--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: Aleko Date: August 13, 2021, 1:10 pm
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It doesn't help that some people who do like dogs but are
clueless about decent dog training will actually encourage them
to jump up, even while their owner is trying to stop it doing
so. Or will encourage an already excited dog to get more
excited, instead of steadying it down. These tend to be the
people who will also slip the dog a biscuit or chocolate or
something else it ought not to have, even if the owner has
previously made them promise faithfully not to. Grrr.
#Post#: 69241--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: holly firestorm Date: August 13, 2021, 2:09 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chocolate is poisonous to dogs, slow poison, respiratory
problems I think. My sister always has at least two dogs. She's
down a lot of research on the subject. She has a "friend" who
always used to give her (not my sister's) dog chocolate. My
sister kept trying to warn her that it could kill the dog and
the woman kept saying, "But, he loves it so much." The dog did
eventually die because of it.
Don't give a dog people chocolate. (I'm sure there are safe
alternatives specifically made for dogs.)
#Post#: 69258--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: Aleko Date: August 13, 2021, 8:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]Don't give a dog people chocolate. (I'm sure there are
safe alternatives specifically made for dogs.)[/quote]
Indeed there are.(‘Doggy chocolate’ is made of carob.) Which, to
my mind, is just perverse. Dogs manifestly aren’t meant to eat
chocolate, any more than horses are meant to eat beefburgers; so
why create a fake chocolate for them to eat, which will only
induce in them a desire to eat the real thing?
An even simpler and better rule is: Don’t ever give someone’s
animal anything to eat without the owner’s explicit permission.
Even if the food you’re offering is suitable for the species,
you don’t know if the animal is on a special vet-prescribed
regimen, or needs to lose weight, or simply is being trained not
to take food from anyone but its owner (a very sensible
precaution, given the horrifically inappropriate ‘treats’ people
like Holly’s sister’s friend will offer them).
#Post#: 69266--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: jpcher Date: August 14, 2021, 9:34 am
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[quote author=Xainte link=topic=2137.msg69170#msg69170
date=1628776303]
Hi all...so this is kind of a two pronged issue. As you know
from an earlier post some of the dog owners in my life just
don't control their animals.
(snip)
[/quote]
Hi Xainte -- I vaguely remember a post where the dog ruined a
blouse? Is that the one you're referring to? (Or was that
someone else?) I don't remember the outcome of that thread.
Would you please post a link to your(?) original thread so that
we are not repeating ourselves? It might help us with additional
understanding.
That being said:
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=2137.msg69182#msg69182
date=1628784513]
(snip)
Believe me visits have been severely curtailed in both frequency
and duration lately but I'm really hoping to find a way to keep
up our ties without dogs ruining the relationship.
[/quote]
How have you (OP) talked to your friend(s) about this? Were you
upfront and honest with them? "It's really NOT okay for your
dogs to jump on me. It really bothers me"? Or were you passive
with an "Oh, it's okay, but I'd rather they didn't do this."?
I think you need to be firm and strong and say, when invited
over, "Would you be able to put your dog out (or control your
dog) while I visit? Otherwise I don't think that I can come
over." Then insist on meeting elsewhere.
Yes, I get it. Some people are very protective about their
dogs/pets and treat them like their human children. "If you
don't love my dog/pet then you don't love me."
This part of a post bothers me:
[quote author=LadyJaneinMD link=topic=2137.msg69215#msg69215
date=1628856993]
[quote author=iolaus link=topic=2137.msg69172#msg69172
date=1628780013]
In all honesty I wouldn't visit and would meet at neutral ground
[/quote]
(snip)
However, this is the kind of person who would not react nicely
if I told her that her dogs could be trained to not jump. So I
simply never visit her at her house. I won't tell her why, but
I'll never go.
[/quote]
Why on earth would you not tell a friend the true reason for not
going over to her home?
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2137.msg69190#msg69190
date=1628791062]
I've really only had to deal with this a few times with people I
visited frequently. I just do a sharp "Down". I've never been
out right chastised by the owner but I have had them show they
weren't thrilled with me but they would then call their dogs to
them. At future visits they were more active in controlling the
behavior.
If the dogs are invading my space while sitting, I think it is
fine to ask the owner to call the dogs to them. If your
unwillingness to be harrassed by the dogs makes them mad, then
they can choose to not invite you again.
[/quote]
If your unwillingness to be harrassed by dogs makes them mad, or
if they are not willing to see you at a different venue, then
they are not compassionate and are not true friends.
Yes, I'm talking from experience. It is difficult to put "rules"
on a friendship. But it's your choice, OP. Put up with unruly
dogs, use some of the tactics mentioned here, talk to the dog
owners/friends and refuse to go back to their home, or meet them
at an external venue.
My SIL and Niece (17yrs old) had a dog that they didn't/couldn't
properly train. (Maybe some dogs are untrainable?*) One night, I
spent the night at their place, I left my glasses on the kitchen
counter, all the way up to the back wall in a corner. I woke up
to find my glasses on the floor, thoroughly chewed and
unwearable. SIL was barely apologetic. "Anything on the kitchen
counter is Dog's property. She does this all the time." I
sighed, accepted the fact and went on with life.
Visits were always punctuated with SIL and Niece shouting
"DOWN!" and "DOG! NO!" things like that which turned the visit
into an unpleasant experience. But I guess they were trying and
I accepted that.
Another visit, when DD#1 was maybe 7 years old, SIL and I were
in another room and I heard DD#1 screaming. I rushed out to find
DD#1 trying to crawl up the stairs while Dog had DD#1's
boot/foot in her mouth. I immediately grabbed Dog by the collar,
pulled her away and after asking DD#1 if she was hurt, told Dog
to SIT! Surprisingly enough the dog did sit. I firmly, but
gently! held her muzzle together, gave her an icy glare (Dog had
all of her attention on me), pointed my finger at her and yelled
"NO!"
Niece came out and yelled "Don't do that! You're hurting her!" I
calmly but firmly said "Your Dog was hurting my daughter."
Kerfuffle ensued, with the comment "Dog was just playing!"
Fortunately DD#1 was wearing heavy snow boots so her foot was
not damaged at all. However she was very scared of Dog. With a
strong statement I/we (DDs) did not visit unless Dog was put
outside. Plus I told SIL and Niece that Dog was no longer
welcome in my home when they visited.
SIL and Niece complied. However that turned into visits being
Humans sitting at the kitchen table, Dog outside the screened
door barking, barking, barking to the irritation point. Either
SIL or Niece got up, filled a large cup of water and threw the
water through the screened door at Dog. Dog stopped barking but
then 15 minutes later the cycle would start again.
We never stopped visiting SIL because she understood our rules.
She also had rules of her own, like putting shoes in the closet
so Dog didn't chew on them, etc.
Years passed and Dog never did get any less unruly, until her
later years when she got old and (yes) sadly had to be put down.
SIL now has two wonderfully trained beautiful dogs. SIL and her
new DH took the dogs to training school when they were puppies
(which never happened with Dog).
*Maybe some dog owners just don't know how to train their dogs.
#Post#: 69270--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: oogyda Date: August 14, 2021, 12:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2137.msg69266#msg69266
date=1628951660]
*Maybe some dog owners just don't know how to train their dogs.
[/quote]
It sounds like this was definitely the case, here. The dog
seemed receptive when you were taking charge.
#Post#: 69271--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: holly firestorm Date: August 14, 2021, 1:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=2137.msg69224#msg69224
date=1628866902]
[quote author=holly firestorm link=topic=2137.msg69207#msg69207
date=1628821287]
[quote author=Jem link=topic=2137.msg69191#msg69191
date=1628792010]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=2137.msg69185#msg69185
date=1628790004]
I think it would be best for you to visit these people on
neutral territory where dogs are not permitted.
[/quote]
I agree. Another thing that makes me crazy is outdoor patios
that allow dogs and owners who do not control their pets.
Especially when eating I don't personally want animals near me.
Also, when going out as a group and someone brings a dog so that
the only available seating would be on a patio so the entire
party has to wait when everyone else would prefer to sit
indoors.
[/quote]
I don't know where you live. But, I can tell you that US laws do
not allow non-service dogs in restaurants. When it comes to
patios, I'm not 100% sure. But, if your pooch pampering pal is
invited to go out to dinner with you and the majority of the
party would prefer to dine inside, unless the pooch is an SD
(and that does NOT include 'Emotional Support Animals'), the
rest of you need to tell her you won't tolerate it anymore and
she needs to leave pampered poochie at home.
[/quote]
I'm in Canada and a lot of establishments are becoming "pet
friendly". And the ones that don't allow dogs don't really
enforce the rules. Too many people claim it's a therapy dog or
emotional support animal and the staff are afraid to challenge
it.
But real service animals are well trained and well behaved.
[/quote]
We have that problem here in the states, too. But, we have a
pretty good Health department that will go "educate" these
establishments. Walmart still sucks as far as this goes. But,
other stores are finding solutions, like diplomatic ways to ask
"what service does your dog perform?" and are getting more
assertive about it, politely, of course. We also have the
entitled "snowflakes" who claim that their Emotional Support
Animal or Therapy Animal qualifies as a Service Dog. It doesn't.
You cannot evict someone from an apartment or tell them to get
rid of their ESA or TA. However, those animals do not qualify as
Service Dogs, which are specifically task oriented...not "fluffy
makes me feel so much better" and are not allowed in stores
which are not allowed to be pet friendly. The laws might be
different in Canada...or you could just be dealing with a lot of
scoff laws.
#Post#: 69280--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 14, 2021, 6:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Hi Xainte -- I vaguely remember a post where the dog ruined a
blouse? Is that the one you're referring to? (Or was that
someone else?) I don't remember the outcome of that thread.
Would you please post a link to your(?) original thread so that
we are not repeating ourselves? It might help us with additional
understanding.
That being said:
Quote from: Xainte on August 12, 2021, 11:08:33 am
(snip)
Believe me visits have been severely curtailed in both frequency
and duration lately but I'm really hoping to find a way to keep
up our ties without dogs ruining the relationship.
How have you (OP) talked to your friend(s) about this? Were you
upfront and honest with them? "It's really NOT okay for your
dogs to jump on me. It really bothers me"? Or were you passive
with an "Oh, it's okay, but I'd rather they didn't do this."?
Yep that's the one. My good blouse was dirtied up and narrowly
escaped being ruined.
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com/new-board/too-expensive-to-replace/msg56305/#msg56305
The crux of my issue is that I was too passive in the past.
While I wasn't exactly faking enthusiasm for the dogs behaviour
I was gritting my teeth and enduring. I'm tired of it. I've
definitely gotten less tolerant and push them off and tell them
sharply "No! and "Get down" but there's very little actual
intervention from their owners.
So I'm trying to find a nice way of saying that just because I
put up with it in the past I don't want to keep putting up with
it. Ugh I'm mad at myself for being such a pushover.
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