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#Post#: 69170--------------------------------------------------
Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 12, 2021, 8:51 am
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Hi all...so this is kind of a two pronged issue. As you know
from an earlier post some of the dog owners in my life just
don't control their animals.
I don't want to discipline their pets and hurt their feelings
but I'm tired of the jumping and the way the dogs won't leave me
alone ( yes - this applies to more than one family of bad dog
owners ). I come in the door and I'm accosted with jumping,
barking and bum sniffing. I sit down and little dogs are
jumping in my lap and getting in my face - literally. I get up
and they're on me again. I have food and they beg.
You get the picture. I push them away, try to ignore and don't
reward the dogs or owners with any positive attention. By
rewarding the owners I mean I don't fawn over their pet because
I don't want them to think I'm OK with it.
I scolded a relative's dog recently for jumping on me and got
told not to yell at the dog because it's their house not mine.
I didn't yell but I was admittedly pretty sharp.
My response to the relative was that they shouldn't be jumping
on people whether it's their house or not. Needless to say it
was a little chilly after that.
The second part of my question is if you have endured rudeness
in the past by grinning and bearing it or laughing it off how do
you politely change tack?
I regret not setting better limits in the past and being a big
pushover so I'm trying to find a way of politely setting them
now. I used to be the one who laughed off annoying dogs so I
wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings but the visits with these people
are becoming unbearable.
Any advice or perspectives on how to be firm yet diplomatic are
welcome!
#Post#: 69171--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: Aleko Date: August 12, 2021, 9:33 am
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My family's command to stop our dogs jumping up was 'DOWN
paws!', said in a kindly way but loudly and firmly, while either
pushing the dog away and down, or picking its front paws off
one's body and putting them back on the ground. Then if it
stayed there as it was told, we'd praise and pet it, in a quiet
not-exciting way: 'There's a good boy. Have a nice chest
scratch'. I do this to other people's dogs too, and I've never
had anyone take offence, because I'm not yelling at the dog or
acting hostile or offended.
#Post#: 69172--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: iolaus Date: August 12, 2021, 9:53 am
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In all honesty I wouldn't visit and would meet at neutral ground
#Post#: 69173--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: andicatt Date: August 12, 2021, 10:01 am
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I have the same problem with the dogs that live with my
grandkids. They're very happy, nice dogs but no one has trained
them. They jump on you, if I open my car door when they're
outside they'll jump in my car, one jumped on the side of my car
and scratched it. Granted my car is 2 years old now but it's
the first brand new car I've ever owned. :-( One of the dogs
launched itself off my foot and left 4 scratches on the top of
my foot which later turned into bruises. I love my grandkids
but hate going to pick them up. I'm going to try the head push
and say down. I'm not sure if it will work. The owners of the
dogs will yell at the dogs to get down but that works for a
minute and they're back to jumping and barking. Worth a try,
right?
#Post#: 69174--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 12, 2021, 10:25 am
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[quote author=andicatt link=topic=2137.msg69173#msg69173
date=1628780484]
I have the same problem with the dogs that live with my
grandkids. They're very happy, nice dogs but no one has trained
them. They jump on you, if I open my car door when they're
outside they'll jump in my car, one jumped on the side of my car
and scratched it. Granted my car is 2 years old now but it's
the first brand new car I've ever owned. :-( One of the dogs
launched itself off my foot and left 4 scratches on the top of
my foot which later turned into bruises. I love my grandkids
but hate going to pick them up. I'm going to try the head push
and say down. I'm not sure if it will work. The owners of the
dogs will yell at the dogs to get down but that works for a
minute and they're back to jumping and barking. Worth a try,
right?
[/quote]
It's like running a gauntlet right? The owners do a tepid "oh
stop, behave, stop that" but nothing with any teeth to it. Zero
follow through.
Iolaus - yeah, the visits have dwindled right down but these
people are close so I do care about maintaining the
relationships. I hate that this is causing problems.
I don't mind well behaved dogs so I do try to pet them up if
they are behaving but it's pretty rare. Only if they've
exhausted themselves.
#Post#: 69175--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: gramma dishes Date: August 12, 2021, 10:25 am
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[quote author=andicatt link=topic=2137.msg69173#msg69173
date=1628780484]
I have the same problem with the dogs that live with my
grandkids. They're very happy, nice dogs but no one has trained
them. They jump on you ...
[/quote]
If they are fairly large dogs and you are reasonably steady on
your feet, when one of the dogs starts to jump up on you just
raise your knee. The dog's chest will bump into the knee and it
will surprise him and throw him off balance a bit. He will
think it's an accident and try again and again he will meet your
knee. Once he's got all four feet on the floor again, greet him
enthusiastically with head scritches and pleasant words --
whatever you're comfortable with. It doesn't hurt the dog in
any way but he will quickly learn that jumping up on you is not
a very fulfilling experience.
#Post#: 69176--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: Jem Date: August 12, 2021, 10:31 am
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Ugh - I hate being around unruly dogs! It makes me crazy when
some owners actually encourage their misbehaved dogs as though
it is cute somehow. It isn't, not to me anyway.
I generally try to avoid being around dogs because I am allergic
and because I simply don't like being jumped on, the smell of
wet/dirty dog, or the barking chaos. When I have to be around
dogs I do my best to keep my distance and not provide
encouragement. When people ask to bring their dogs to my house I
say no.
My sister has a very ill-behaved dog that she
will.not.stop.talking.about. Every event is focused on her dog
and how "cute" the dog is. I don't agree, and I am far more
interested in her actual children (who, coincidentally do NOT
jump on me, slobber on me, bark constantly, or generally make it
miserable to be around them). I get that dog owners love their
pets and treat them as family, but I think people should accept
that allowing their dogs to be ill-mannered has consequences of
some people not wanting to be around the dog or owner.
#Post#: 69177--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: lowspark Date: August 12, 2021, 10:33 am
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[quote author=iolaus link=topic=2137.msg69172#msg69172
date=1628780013]
In all honesty I wouldn't visit and would meet at neutral ground
[/quote]
This.
I am 100% with you on this. I don't mind one quick jump if the
owner is trying to control their pet. But some owners just don't
care.
But I'm also on the side of the pet owner. It's their dog, their
house, their prerogative to do what they want.
So... I just wouldn't visit again.
I had a similar situation happen to me years ago. I visited
someone's house, the dog was out of control, would not leave me
alone. Owners did nothing. I left shortly after arriving.
#Post#: 69179--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: Winterlight Date: August 12, 2021, 10:45 am
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We had a couple of jumpers, and we trained them to do it on
command only. That way they didn't knock over unsuspecting
people or jump on anyone who didn't like it. And even the family
members who were fine with it didn't want to be flattened by an
excited Belgian when they got home with an armload of groceries.
I like dogs more than people, but I think it's time to start
meeting these folks at places they can't bring their dogs since
they're clearly not going to discipline them.
#Post#: 69182--------------------------------------------------
Re: Disciplining Other People's Dogs
By: sms Date: August 12, 2021, 11:08 am
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2137.msg69176#msg69176
date=1628782305]
Ugh - I hate being around unruly dogs! It makes me crazy when
some owners actually encourage their misbehaved dogs as though
it is cute somehow. It isn't, not to me anyway.
I generally try to avoid being around dogs because I am allergic
and because I simply don't like being jumped on, the smell of
wet/dirty dog, or the barking chaos. When I have to be around
dogs I do my best to keep my distance and not provide
encouragement. When people ask to bring their dogs to my house I
say no.
My sister has a very ill-behaved dog that she
will.not.stop.talking.about. Every event is focused on her dog
and how "cute" the dog is. I don't agree, and I am far more
interested in her actual children (who, coincidentally do NOT
jump on me, slobber on me, bark constantly, or generally make it
miserable to be around them). I get that dog owners love their
pets and treat them as family, but I think people should accept
that allowing their dogs to be ill-mannered has consequences of
some people not wanting to be around the dog or owner.
[/quote]
Jeesh...me too when it comes to smelly dogs all over me and
worrying that my clothes will be ruined. Add to that it's just
plain uncomfortable and scratchy claws hurt.
The dogs just dominate the whole visit. I can't stand it. I
don't like being put in the position of getting angry with
someone's pet. Part of the issue is that there are various
issues where these people aren't able to get out much so visits
are usually in their home.
Believe me visits have been severely curtailed in both frequency
and duration lately but I'm really hoping to find a way to keep
up our ties without dogs ruining the relationship.
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