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#Post#: 69018--------------------------------------------------
Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Kimberami Date: August 9, 2021, 8:49 am
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My DD will be graduating from high school this year. As
expected, there is a ton of stuff going on with us right now.
Last night, we got the proofs back from her senior portraits.
One of the package options was graduation announcements. Great!
We picked the poses we liked for it, and we ordered some. DH has
a huge family. I have a huge friend group from college that is
far away. Here is my worry. Does receiving a graduation
announcement look like a cash grab? I honestly just want to
share DD's success with our loved ones. This is a big event, and
we are very proud of her. I certainly wouldn't send a card to
every friend or family member, but there are special people that
I would like to have one. We chose two of our favorite poses to
go on the card, and I'd love for people to see how much she's
grown up.
So help me please. Am I just asking for money with a card?
#Post#: 69021--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: baritone108 Date: August 9, 2021, 9:35 am
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If they are sent to people with whom you have shared info about
your daughter regularly over the years the announcement should
not be seen as a gift grab. We sent them our when our daughters
graduated and were happy to receive them from other friends. If
one came from someone I rarely heard from I might have seen it
as a gift grab.
#Post#: 69024--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: oogyda Date: August 9, 2021, 10:46 am
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I was raised with the idea to honor/respect certain members of
our families. When my sister and I graduated, those members
received announcements. Those family members also received
wedding invitations even though we all knew there was very
little chance they would attend due to the amount of travel
involved.
Each time, many of them sent gifts or at least a card. Frankly,
I didn't keep track beyond sending an appropriate thank you. I
was young and naïve and believed this is what families did.
This continued through my life as I had a family of my own and
my children experienced their own milestones. When ODD was
getting married, I questioned my MIL if I should send her
sisters invitations to the wedding even though we knew they
wouldn't attend, again, because of the amount of travel. MIL
was of the opinion that, of course we should send the invitation
if only to show our respect and honor their position in the
family. FIL said we should send them invitations if ODD wanted
to get a gift from them.
I can't tell you how much that effected me. I had never, ever
before equated an announcement or invitation with asking for or
expecting a gift.
What it has come down to with me is to ascertain my intent. And
I would advise you to do the same. Only you know your intention
when deciding who to send the announcements to . If you are
sending it to Aunty Moneybags because you know she'll send a
generous gift, then maybe you shouldn't. If you are sending
them with the intention of sharing your joy and pride, then go
ahead.
edited to correct spelling and add:
With FIL as an example, there are going to be people who see it
as a gift grab no matter what your expectations are.
#Post#: 69025--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Hmmm Date: August 9, 2021, 10:52 am
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I don't think sending graduation announcements is a cash grab. I
know I don't personally feel like I have to send a gift for
every announcement I receive. I make the decision based on my
relationship. For instance, we received announcements from my
husband's cousin's daughter who we have met twice in her life. I
sent a card of congratulations.
When we selected people to send out to for our kids, we sent to
people we thought would be interested. If your college friends
have only met your daughter a few times, I probably wouldn't
send. I get wanting to share the photos and accomplishments of
her, I really do. But I try to think about my level of interest.
Were you to get a card from their kids, would you think "oh,
cute" and then send it to the trash? Would you think "Oh, cute"
let me give graduate's mom a call to tell her how much I liked
seeing the photos? With family, would you be disappointed to
learn you were left off the list of recipients if other's in
your family received one?
I hate that at some point there became a misconception that a
gift is required for every announcement and every shower or
wedding. It creates these kind of situations.
#Post#: 69026--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Jem Date: August 9, 2021, 10:54 am
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I agree with oogyda. I think some people will seek to find
offense no matter what (whether they view the announcement as a
honor denied them or as a gift grab directed toward them). I
would send the announcements to the people you wish to share the
news with and not give another thought as to whether someone is
offended or thinks it is a gift grab.
#Post#: 69027--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 9, 2021, 11:02 am
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I typically receive a graduation announcement with an invitation
to a graduation party. I believe that it is expected that if I
attended the party that I would be gifting the grad. If I'm not
attending the party, I may still send a gift, but I don't
always.
Receiving the announcement without any party information might
confuse me a bit, as this doesn't typically happen in my circle.
But without any party, I wouldn't necessarily feel obligated to
send a gift. If I was close to your DD, I might choose to send
my congratulations (and maybe a gift, too). But to me, if the
party is missing, I would be less likely to send a gift (unless
you have gifted my children in a similar situation.)
The idea that the individual is trying to gift grab typically
happens in conjunction with their personality. I am guessing
that you typically don't come across as a greedy person, so I
probably wouldn't be thinking that.
#Post#: 69035--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Isisnin Date: August 9, 2021, 5:18 pm
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In the 1970s, my mother sent my sister's wedding invitations out
after the wedding as an announcement to those not invited. She
said that sending the invites after the wedding meant the
recipients were not to send gifts.
I've never heard that since, but sending your daughter's
announcement after her graduation date should be a clear
indication of "don't send a gift or cash, we just want to share
our joy".
Personally, I don't send a gift or cash when I get an
announcement (but I do send a congratulations card).
and..
Congratulations!
#Post#: 69046--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Gellchom Date: August 10, 2021, 6:19 am
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When I get high school graduation announcements, which is rare,
mostly from some cousins in my husband’s family, it doesn’t feel
to me like they are trying to get a gift from me. (If anything,
it feels like they got sold the announcements in a package with
photos, as in the original post, and they couldn’t figure out
who else to send them to other than out of town relatives!)
But I have to admit I feel a little cheap if I don’t send
something. In other words, I feel just a little bit put on the
spot, but not as if they were intentionally trying to push me
for a gift.
Graduation announcements, without an invitation to the
graduation or a party, does feel different to me than a wedding
invitation to someone that you know will not be able to attend.
The latter still sends the message that you would love to have
them with you at an important lifecycle event if they could
attend. A wedding announcement would not send that message, and
would probably be more likely to make the recipients wonder
about the motivation, but I can’t remember the last time I
received one.
I wonder if announcements of any kind are more likely to be
questioned as a gift grabby now, because their original purpose
is no longer nearly as necessary. We have so many other ways to
“announce“ family news, notably social media and group emails.
So the sending a formal announcement has become very rare, at
least in my circle, and i’m guessing that is why they might make
people feel a little more pressured to send a gift than in times
past.
I like Hmmm’s approach about considering level of interest.
#Post#: 69047--------------------------------------------------
Re: Graduation Announcement Help, pretty please
By: Kimberami Date: August 10, 2021, 8:22 am
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Thanks for the feedback. Any stress relief from this hectic
year is appreciated. I made a list of friends and family. I made
a check next to everyone that we keep up with regularly. I will
send these people an announcement. These people know and love my
daughter. They will be genuinely glad to have a new picture of
her and hear how she is doing. We don't keep up as much with the
people without a check. I won't send them a card. I will be
posting pictures of DD over the year, and I will make a
graduation "announcement" on social media later in the school
year.
DD wants to send a card to her orthodontist and her doctor. They
both put up announcements on a big congrats wall. I didn't even
think about them until she mentioned it. She also wants to send
one to an old teacher that she especially loves.
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