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#Post#: 68776--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: oogyda Date: July 30, 2021, 7:28 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2120.msg68767#msg68767
date=1627669578]
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2120.msg68749#msg68749
date=1627583451]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2120.msg68726#msg68726
date=1627523447]
[quote author=Surly link=topic=2120.msg68725#msg68725
date=1627520223]
I think the "whatever" does make it confusing, yes. And you say
your brother lives over two hours away. So it would be quite
odd, I think, to expect him to drive 4-5 hours in a day just for
a quick visit -- with the "whatever" I think it makes sense for
him to assume you're offering to host overnight.
[/quote]
I think that is subjective. I wouldn't think twice about leaving
my house around 8, arriving around 10, visiting until around 4
(6 hours) and getting home again before 7. A 6 hour visit is a
pretty long visit in my opinion. I know many people who would be
fine with that schedule. My cousin just mentioned how she drove
2 hours to her nieces house, stayed for a 2 hour party and drove
back.
[/quote]
It has to be subjective since there are so many variables.
First and foremost, there is a big difference between the 2
hours you cite and the 4-5 hours OP cites.
Other considerations are the ease of travel due to the volume of
traffic and the terrain. The 5 hour drive to my IL's house was
miserable no matter when because halfway there is a major
metropolitan area. We did the "there and back in one day" once
and that was quite enough. The 6 hour drive to ODD's is a
breeze (straight down the interstate with no major cities along
the way), but even then I'd want to break it up by a day or so.
The mountain passes where OP's DD#1 lives are sometimes
nerve-wracking under the best conditions and ill advised under
poorer conditions.
[/quote]
You may have misread. The OP says "Sister lives less than an
hour away but brother is a little more than two hours away". So
around a 4 to 5 hour round trip for the brother with stops. My
cousin had a bit more than a 4 hour round trip per my post.
[/quote]
You're right. I must have got that from Surly's post.
#Post#: 68796--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: Surly Date: July 31, 2021, 11:09 am
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=2120.msg68776#msg68776
date=1627691319]
You're right. I must have got that from Surly's post.
[/quote]
Yes, sorry, I meant 4-5 hours total (not each way). I wouldn't
drive that much in a day just for a half-day visit, but I hate
travel so it sounds like I'm the exception.
#Post#: 68799--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: Gellchom Date: July 31, 2021, 2:23 pm
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Anyway, that’s far enough away to make it more reasonable to
understand the “whatever” to include overnight.
#Post#: 68800--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: Rose Red Date: July 31, 2021, 5:01 pm
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On no! I read the original post again and noticed a "dumb" icon
and clicked to see who did that and it was me! :-[
My finger must have been in that area. I certainly didn't do it
on purpose. I hate that we can't remove icons after leaving the
thread.
#Post#: 68833--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: jpcher Date: August 2, 2021, 3:24 pm
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Thank you all for your responses . . . I've been thinking on
this and decided not to make a big deal out if. Whatever ;)
happens happens. There are six beds, so if DD#1 and Fsam spend
the night that still leaves an extra bed for bro. If Sis and
(possibly) son want to spend the night? DD#1 has an air mattress
that she can bring over.
I'm just not going to stress about it.
[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=2120.msg68730#msg68730
date=1627554869]
I can hardly think of any wording that would be more ambiguous
than “or whatever”!
[/quote]
LOL! Gellchom -- straight to the point! Like most everybody else
said my invitation was in poor form. I get it.
I could have said (which is actually what I was thinking)
"Saturday/Sunday/whatever day works best for you." Would that
have been clearer?
The best thing that I should have done was think about it and
discuss with the original invitees (DDs, Fsam and Mom) as to
their thoughts and plans for the weekend before extending an
ambiguous invite to my Sis and Bro.
It was a spur of the moment thought. I acted before thinking
things through, I'll know better next time.
que sera sera ;)
#Post#: 68837--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 2, 2021, 8:03 pm
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[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2120.msg68833#msg68833
date=1627935843]
I could have said (which is actually what I was thinking)
"Saturday/Sunday/whatever day works best for you." Would that
have been clearer?
[/quote]
Maybe. Although using "whichever" may have made it more clear
that only Saturday and Sunday were on the table.
These things happen. I really like your easy going attitude
about it and I hope that it turns out to be a wonderful time!!!
#Post#: 68853--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: bopper Date: August 3, 2021, 2:06 pm
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Find out if Sis wants to stay over... if so
"Bro, Sis will be staying over Saturday night so if you would
like to come Sunday through Tuesday that would be fine."
or if you don't want him for that many days:
"Bro, we have other flexible activities scheduled so if you
would choose between Sunday or Monday that would be great."
#Post#: 68882--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: TootsNYC Date: August 4, 2021, 5:53 pm
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[quote author=lowspark link=topic=2120.msg68760#msg68760
date=1627662207]
]
Regarding the distance for a day trip, it's very relative. I
live in Houston where it can easily be an hour or more to get
from one side of the city to the other, so a two-hour each way
trip is nothing. When my son was attending University of Texas
in Austin, I went up multiple times to visit. That's a 3-hour
each way trip. So six hours in the car and maybe 5-6 hours for
the visit. Yeah, it's a long day, but not a hardship for me.
[/quote]
Oh my God, HOUSTON!
My cousin got married in Katy, and I flew into Houston and sent
a flare up to the family about not wanting to rent a car, and
having realized that a taxi would be $100; I wondered if anyone
else was flying it about the same time. My cousin's mom
volunteered to pick us up, and it was only when we were STILL on
the road an hour an hour later (traffic) what I'd asked of her
#Post#: 69189--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: lowspark Date: August 12, 2021, 12:57 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=2120.msg68882#msg68882
date=1628117600]
[quote author=lowspark link=topic=2120.msg68760#msg68760
date=1627662207]
]
Regarding the distance for a day trip, it's very relative. I
live in Houston where it can easily be an hour or more to get
from one side of the city to the other, so a two-hour each way
trip is nothing. When my son was attending University of Texas
in Austin, I went up multiple times to visit. That's a 3-hour
each way trip. So six hours in the car and maybe 5-6 hours for
the visit. Yeah, it's a long day, but not a hardship for me.
[/quote]
Oh my God, HOUSTON!
My cousin got married in Katy, and I flew into Houston and sent
a flare up to the family about not wanting to rent a car, and
having realized that a taxi would be $100; I wondered if anyone
else was flying it about the same time. My cousin's mom
volunteered to pick us up, and it was only when we were STILL on
the road an hour an hour later (traffic) what I'd asked of her
[/quote]
LOL. Yeah. That's par for the course! Listen, these people live
in Katy. They know the score. And depending on the time of day,
traffic can be a bear! It's just a fact of life.
I live pretty close to my work, and I try to plan my trips
around the city so that I miss the most congested freeways at
the bad times, but wrecks and major construction happen as a
matter of routine so it's always a crap shoot.
But I love living here so it's all good in my book!
#Post#: 69546--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: jpcher Date: August 24, 2021, 3:11 pm
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Quick update . . .
Last week I asked for a rough time schedule from Sis and Bro.
Sis and Son will not be spending the night. They'll be coming on
Saturday for afternoon/evening.
Bro responded "Since I'll be driving from other state I'm
guessing I'll be arriving somewhere between 4 and 9 on Friday
evening, if that works for you." (paraphrased, not actual quote)
I did not know that Bro moved to other state!!!
Drive time for him? 8 hours.
No wonder he wanted to spend the whole weekend with us! LOL!
I'm so glad I didn't make a stink about it and am so very happy
that I have a room for him!
I'm also very happy that he is taking the time for a weekend
visit. ;D
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