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#Post#: 68530--------------------------------------------------
Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: jpcher Date: July 22, 2021, 2:16 pm
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I sent this email invitation to my brother and sister who live
in far-away-state (FAS), where DD#1 lives. Sister lives less
than an hour away but brother is a little more than two hours
away:
"Our mother, my DD#2 and I will be in FAS to visit DD#1 and Fsam
from August 26 - 30. We have an AirBnB house reserved and I
would like to extend an invitation to you (Sis, Bro, Bro's SO)
to join us for a day/afternoon/whatever . . . Maybe Saturday or
Sunday? Please let me know your thoughts as to when you would be
available for a visit. Would love to see you!"
Sis response: Either Saturday or Sunday would work for me. I'm
not sure if my son will be in town, but if he is either day
should work for him as well.
Bro response: Great! I'll come Friday afternoon and plan on
leaving Tuesday morning. It would be wonderful to see all of
you! :o
Before I get into details, I'm wondering about the wording of my
invitation. Was it too vague? How would you have responded?
#1 -- the house that we are renting for the long weekend sleeps
six. While DD#1 and Fsam live only a couple of miles away I was
planning on having them spend the weekend at the house so that
they get a mini vacation away from home and still be able to go
home to feed their cat.
#2 -- So the five of us, plus bro (SO isn't coming) equals six
beds. What if my sister (and possibly her son) would like to
spend a night with us? I could send DD#1 and Fsam back to their
apartment but that somewhat diminishes the time that I wanted to
spend with them (waking up in morning "Who's making coffee? What
are we having for breakfast, etc.) I'm iffy on this point . . .
would it be rude to ask DD#1 and Fsam to go home for the night?
#3 -- My sis, bro and I are not tight/close with each other.
Years could go by without us talking to each other but when we
get together everything is cool. I extended the invitation
because I knew my (our) mother would love to have all of her
children together at the same time. My thought, when I extended
the invite, was to give my mother a gift of family togetherness
which hasn't happened in so many years until my father passed
away . . . but then it was a funeral. Not a happy, fun time.
Am I overthinking this? Or should I just be happy for all of us
getting together and if there isn't enough bed space? The couch
is comfortable and could sleep an extra person, right?
#Post#: 68533--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: oogyda Date: July 22, 2021, 2:36 pm
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"I would like to extend and invitation to you to join us for a
day/afternoon/whatever"
Yeah....that's vague.
With 20/20 hindsight, it's easy to see that you should have
started with information gathering and been a lot more specific
about the arrangements.
Perhaps starting with I'd like your input on when you would be
available to spend a few hours together. Then decide on a day,
time and (perhaps) a meal.
I've never done AirBnB, but I have rented through VRBO and I
know they operate under similar contracts. When I've rented, I
had to be very detailed about who was going to be staying there
and who may be visiting. They were adamant that no unknown
persons were to be overnight guests without approval. They were
even more adamant that the number of overnight guests did not
exceed the allowed number.
#Post#: 68536--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: chigger Date: July 22, 2021, 2:51 pm
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I think you need to host your brother, sister, etc, and DD1 can
come over early morning. The invitation was vague enough to
cause confusion.
#Post#: 68538--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: Rose Red Date: July 22, 2021, 3:17 pm
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Yes it's too vague. When you're dealing with multiple families,
you need to give specific day and time. The "whatever" is
confusing which is why your brother invited himself to stay for
days.
You can still apologize for the confusion and ask him over a
specific day(s).
#Post#: 68540--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: Hmmm Date: July 22, 2021, 3:31 pm
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While you could interpret join us for a day/afternoon/whatever.
Maybe Saturday or Sunday to imply you are open to a multi-day
visit, I think that is a leap on the reader's party. A clearer
wording would have been to join us for a
day/afternoon/whichever but since you followed it up with
Saturday or Sunday I think your intent was clear that this was a
single day visit.
Is your brother a jokester? Could he be joking?
Anyway, I think I'd respond: "Sorry I wasn't clearer. I meant a
day visit as we do not have space for additional overnight
guests. Let me know if Sat or Sun works best for you."
#Post#: 68555--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 23, 2021, 4:20 am
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I took the the whatever to mean... whatever! If you were not
hosting overnight guests, I would have anticipated that you said
something like "We would love to see you for a day or afternoon
visit." Also, you list all the days of your rental and then
mention Saturday/Sunday (like a suggestion.) It's not clear to
me if you would welcome them on other days (like the Friday
afternoon that your brother mentions as his arrival). If you
only want them to visit Saturday or Sunday, then I think I would
not have included the other dates of my stay. It's one of those
invitations that made sense in your head, but simply had a few
details that made it fuzzy to others.
It seems like you have a close enough relationship that you can
write back and say, "Opps! I guess my invitation wasn't clear.
We don't have accommodations for additional overnight guests.
However, I would love to see you for a day or afternoon visit on
either Saturday or Sunday."
I suppose that the good news is that brother is excited to see
you. ;D
#Post#: 68556--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: BeagleMommy Date: July 23, 2021, 11:29 am
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It seems a bit vague. Perhaps you could send another email
clarifying the sleeping arrangements.
#Post#: 68557--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: TootsNYC Date: July 23, 2021, 11:34 am
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It may have been vague, but c'mon--who announces that they're
coming for an entire weekend?!?!?
First, that many days? and second, to simply say "I'm coming,"
and not "I'm available"? Bro is wrong and rude here. I don't
care what your wording was.
Email back to bro and say: "it's great to know you're available
for the whole weekend. We were thinking a day, not the whole
weekend, and I'm still waiting on info from sis. We're concerned
about the number of beds, etc. Let me get back to you once I've
had a chance to look at things."
I do think "whatever" might have led him to think that you'd be
up for more than a day, but...
#Post#: 68572--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: chigger Date: July 23, 2021, 3:12 pm
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Reading over the OP, I think you've answered your own question.
My Mother would love to have all her kids together. Which is why
you extended the (rather vague) invitation. DD1 and her fiance
live only a few miles away; I don't see why they can't just pop
over. You won't see them while they're sleeping, anyway. If it
were me, I'd give my mother this gift.
#Post#: 68575--------------------------------------------------
Re: Was this bad wording for an invitation?
By: TootsNYC Date: July 23, 2021, 3:44 pm
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I think there's something to be said for staying in the same
house as DD1; breakfast in your jammies, convos while one of the
other folks are in the shower...
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