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       #Post#: 68713--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: vintagegal Date: July 28, 2021, 6:45 am
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       In a sane and civil world, without cultural differences, farm
       host should have said to OP next time he saw them at work, "I
       guess I should have mentioned we usually charge $X.XX a pound
       for that fruit - my bad." And left it at that.  OP would
       probably have offered the money.
       #Post#: 68714--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: Jem Date: July 28, 2021, 8:02 am
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       [quote author=Bada link=topic=2116.msg68711#msg68711
       date=1627456225]
       He asked for a GENEROUS payment because they picked ONE pound of
       the forbidden Y fruit? And 6 pounds of the overflowing tree that
       they were pushed to pick more from?  I'm kind of surprised he
       was willing to risk his relationship with OP over so little. I
       think OP was right to pay up to smooth it over once it became an
       issue... I'm just shocked it became an issue.
       [/quote]
       Did the OP say what the actual amount at issue was (I may have
       missed it)? Because I agree it seems like it would have been a
       trivial amount. I don't know what my personal tipping point
       would be in terms of "I better demand payment," but it wouldn't
       be $30, for example.
       #Post#: 68720--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 28, 2021, 2:28 pm
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       [quote author=Rho link=topic=2116.msg68710#msg68710
       date=1627438428]
       I would not warn anyone away unless you are asked about your
       lunch get-together with co-worker.  No good deed goes unpunished
       and somehow word will get back to farmer that you are gossiping
       about him.
       [/quote]
       You have a good point... I think we all have experiences were
       our good intentions cause us greater heartache. But I would
       still warn people... but in an organic manner. There's a fine
       line between sharing your personal experience and gossiping, but
       it is there.
       #Post#: 68729--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: Aleko Date: July 29, 2021, 1:35 am
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       Suppose we shift this interaction to another kind of product.
       Let’s say that a company employee is a hobby ceramicist rather
       than a hobby farmer. Around the water cooler our potter says ‘I
       made so many pots during lockdown, my studio is crammed. I don’t
       know how I’m going to shift them all’. Colleague 1 suggests
       selling them online. Colleague 2 asks ‘Do you let customers
       visit your studio to choose them?’ and Potter says ‘Do you want
       to do that? Yeah, come over! I’ll give you lunch and you can
       meet my family! That’ll be great!’
       So that happens, and Colleague 2 chooses a lot of pots because
       hey, they’re free and Potter seems keen to have them taken off
       his hands. Potter is happy to have his work appreciated and
       maybe is even considering discounting the price by half to be
       nice - right until, after lunch, Colleague 2 simply puts the
       pots in their car, says ‘Thanks for lunch! Bye!’ and drives off
       without offering to pay. When Potter processes the fact that his
       colleague has simply taken his work for nothing, he sits down at
       his PC and sends the story to the “But…But…It’s Not Like It’s
       Work” thread. . . .
       #Post#: 68736--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: Aleko Date: July 29, 2021, 8:53 am
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       [quote]Did the OP say what the actual amount at issue was (I may
       have missed it)? Because I agree it seems like it would have
       been a trivial amount. I don't know what my personal tipping
       point would be in terms of "I better demand payment," but it
       wouldn't be $30, for example.[/quote]
       It might not have been the loss of the money, but just the
       feeling of being rooked. For all we know, he might even have
       been intending, when OP offered to pay, to cry magnanimously,
       'No no, put your money away, it's my gift to you and your
       charming children!' But - and I'm sure we can all agree on this
       - there's all the difference in the world between generously
       refusing an offered payment and not being offered it.
       #Post#: 68739--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Farm visit help
       By: sandisadie Date: July 29, 2021, 10:19 am
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       I think Aleko is making a good point.  Thinking back over some
       times when someone invited me to take something they had that
       they didn't appear to want, I realize that I've mostly
       established whether the items were truly being given away at no
       cost, or they were for sale.  I always have asked, up front,
       which was the case.  It's not rude to say "are you selling these
       or giving them away?"  It appears to me that both parties in
       this "fruit" case are partly at fault.
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