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#Post#: 68592--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: LifeOnPluto Date: July 24, 2021, 1:28 am
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[quote author=frog24 link=topic=2116.msg68542#msg68542
date=1626990327]
Hi All,
I cleared things up with co-worker by using some of the wording
provided here and apologizing profusely for taking the fruit we
weren't meant to pick. I paid him the rate per pound that I
found on his ad online (for the fruit we were meant to pick),
plus the local going rate for the forbidden fruit. I explained
my logic and thanked him again for the visit. He thanked me for
the generous amount, and said they would've charged me less
because they didn't have to do the work of picking. ::)
[/quote]
But he still accepted the full amount you offered him, correct?
Also, when you were picking the 'forbidden' fruit, were your
co-worker or his wife watching? If they were, I'm really
querying hard why they didn't simply ask you there and then not
to pick that fruit?
I personally think you were incredibly generous in paying him
the going rate for all the fruit. As other posters have said, I
would have paid him something for the fruit, but not the full
going rate, and I would have (nicely) suggested that if this
situation should arise again, he and his wife be more upfront
about their expectations in terms of receiving payment.
#Post#: 68594--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: Aleko Date: July 24, 2021, 2:52 am
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[quote]I personally think you were incredibly generous in paying
him the going rate for all the fruit. As other posters have
said, I would have paid him something for the fruit, but not the
full going rate, and I would have (nicely) suggested that if
this situation should arise again, he and his wife be more
upfront about their expectations in terms of receiving
payment.[/quote]
No, I think OP was obligated. If a co-worker is growing fruit to
sell and you ask him if you can come and pick some of it, unless
you make clear from the outset that you expect him to give it
you for nothing he's entitled to assume that you expect to pay.
If you actually want free fruit, it really is on you to be clear
that that's what you're asking for.
#Post#: 68631--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: sms Date: July 25, 2021, 10:48 am
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"[b]But all the "You're our guests! We're so glad you could
visit us! Let us show you around! You should try these other
fruit! Please have some more of them! And we'll have lunch
together. No no, please take more!" that completely confused me.
So I completely acknowledge my part in this."[/b]
Most people are embarrassed if they feel they overstepped or if
what they thought was an overture of friendship was actually a
business hustle.
Frankly if the OP got all that schmooze directed at them and
then got brought up short with that awkward ( awkward for the OP
- clearly not for the coworker ) request for payment I would
lose respect for that coworker.
I wouldn't want my working relationship to be strained or
difficult. But I wouldn't make the mistake of thinking he was a
friend again. That's a friend I can't afford.
#Post#: 68638--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: LifeOnPluto Date: July 26, 2021, 6:21 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2116.msg68594#msg68594
date=1627113129]
[quote]I personally think you were incredibly generous in paying
him the going rate for all the fruit. As other posters have
said, I would have paid him something for the fruit, but not the
full going rate, and I would have (nicely) suggested that if
this situation should arise again, he and his wife be more
upfront about their expectations in terms of receiving
payment.[/quote]
No, I think OP was obligated. If a co-worker is growing fruit to
sell and you ask him if you can come and pick some of it, unless
you make clear from the outset that you expect him to give it
you for nothing he's entitled to assume that you expect to pay.
If you actually want free fruit, it really is on you to be clear
that that's what you're asking for.
[/quote]
OP says in her first post:
"My kids and I were invited to visit a co-worker's hobby farm.
He mentioned that he had a generously fruiting tree and was
overwhelmed with fruit. One coworker jokingly asked if he
shipped fruit to people, and I asked if he let people come and
pick it themselves. He invited us (me & the kids) up for a visit
to pick fruit, look at his animals and generally visit with him
and his family ." (bolded mine)
At the very least, I think the co-worker was also unclear with
his expectations. If he expected payment from the OP, he should
have said something like: "Yes, we have heaps of fruit. Come and
pick some! As a heads up, we normally charge around $x per kilo
- does that work for you?" It also sounds like from the first
post, and the OP's subsequent posts, like he was strongly urging
the OP to come and visit, pick more fruit, etc, thus blurring
the lines between 'customer' and 'guest'. (As opposed to the OP
essentially inviting herself to come and pick his fruit).
#Post#: 68641--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: Kimberami Date: July 26, 2021, 7:26 am
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[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=2116.msg68638#msg68638
date=1627298498]
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2116.msg68594#msg68594
date=1627113129]
[quote]I personally think you were incredibly generous in paying
him the going rate for all the fruit. As other posters have
said, I would have paid him something for the fruit, but not the
full going rate, and I would have (nicely) suggested that if
this situation should arise again, he and his wife be more
upfront about their expectations in terms of receiving
payment.[/quote]
No, I think OP was obligated. If a co-worker is growing fruit to
sell and you ask him if you can come and pick some of it, unless
you make clear from the outset that you expect him to give it
you for nothing he's entitled to assume that you expect to pay.
If you actually want free fruit, it really is on you to be clear
that that's what you're asking for.
[/quote]
OP says in her first post:
"My kids and I were invited to visit a co-worker's hobby farm.
He mentioned that he had a generously fruiting tree and was
overwhelmed with fruit. One coworker jokingly asked if he
shipped fruit to people, and I asked if he let people come and
pick it themselves. He invited us (me & the kids) up for a visit
to pick fruit, look at his animals and generally visit with him
and his family ." (bolded mine)
At the very least, I think the co-worker was also unclear with
his expectations. If he expected payment from the OP, he should
have said something like: "Yes, we have heaps of fruit. Come and
pick some! As a heads up, we normally charge around $x per kilo
- does that work for you?" It also sounds like from the first
post, and the OP's subsequent posts, like he was strongly urging
the OP to come and visit, pick more fruit, etc, thus blurring
the lines between 'customer' and 'guest'. (As opposed to the OP
essentially inviting herself to come and pick his fruit).
[/quote]
At the very least, the coworker should have said "We'll need to
weigh you out for payment before you leave" when OP was shown
the place to pick fruit.
I'm glad that everything turned out well in the end. I'd rather
pay some money at this point than have an awkward work
environment.
#Post#: 68688--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: Lkdrymom Date: July 27, 2021, 6:08 am
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Something still does not sound right here. The coworker kept
encouraging the OP to take more which implies he was giving it
away. You wouldn't use that wording with a customer. So he was
encouraging her to take more so she could pay him more? If I am
buying something I will buy what I am comfortable using or
affording...I am not going to buy more just because the seller
is telling me to. But if someone is giving me something I will
take what is reasonable and only take more if they insist. I
would warn your other coworkers. The next person may not be as
accomodating as you were.
#Post#: 68696--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: peony Date: July 27, 2021, 8:42 am
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[quote author=Xainte link=topic=2116.msg68631#msg68631
date=1627228139]
"[b]But all the "You're our guests! We're so glad you could
visit us! Let us show you around! You should try these other
fruit! Please have some more of them! And we'll have lunch
together. No no, please take more!" that completely confused me.
So I completely acknowledge my part in this."[/b]
Most people are embarrassed if they feel they overstepped or if
what they thought was an overture of friendship was actually a
business hustle.
Frankly if the OP got all that schmooze directed at them and
then got brought up short with that awkward ( awkward for the OP
- clearly not for the coworker ) request for payment I would
lose respect for that coworker.
I wouldn't want my working relationship to be strained or
difficult. But I wouldn't make the mistake of thinking he was a
friend again. That's a friend I can't afford.
[/quote]
I agree. I think the difference could be a cultural
miscommunication so I wouldn't warn anyone else away, but I
would not consider that person to be a friend.
#Post#: 68706--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 27, 2021, 2:47 pm
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I wouldn't warn anyone away, but I would inform them of my
misunderstanding in the hopes that will not experience it.
#Post#: 68710--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: Rho Date: July 27, 2021, 9:13 pm
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I would not warn anyone away unless you are asked about your
lunch get-together with co-worker. No good deed goes unpunished
and somehow word will get back to farmer that you are gossiping
about him.
#Post#: 68711--------------------------------------------------
Re: Farm visit help
By: Bada Date: July 28, 2021, 2:10 am
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He asked for a GENEROUS payment because they picked ONE pound of
the forbidden Y fruit? And 6 pounds of the overflowing tree that
they were pushed to pick more from? I'm kind of surprised he
was willing to risk his relationship with OP over so little. I
think OP was right to pay up to smooth it over once it became an
issue... I'm just shocked it became an issue.
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