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#Post#: 68365--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: lowspark Date: July 19, 2021, 10:18 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2113.msg68361#msg68361
date=1626703832]
For me, "Formal" is equal to Black Tie Optional. So a man could
wear a tux but a suit is ok. A women could wear a floor length
dress but cocktail attire is ok too.
But with "Formal - Look nice" I'm thinking the couple is not
using Formal in the traditional since. I think they are trying
to say don't wear jeans. It would be great if people did follow
dress codes. At my nephew's wedding a few years back, I was
surprised two of the bride's first cousins and uncle arrived in
jeans. This was a very traditional church/country club wedding.
The cousins were their early 20's and the family wasn't hurting
for money. The mom/wife was dressed beautifully.
[/quote]
I think you hit the nail on the head right there. People are
showing up to weddings dressed inappropriately in jeans and what
not. This couple is hoping that by using the word "formal" it
will be understood that you should dress up.
So yeah, I'd go with suit & tie for men and cocktail attire for
women.
I hope you will come back here, gellchom, after the wedding (I
know it's a bit far off!) and tell us what people wore. I'm
guessing, that there will be many levels of attire and that even
with the word "formal", there will be a lot of "casual".
#Post#: 68400--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 19, 2021, 3:53 pm
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I'm willing to bet that it really means, WE'RE BEGGING YOU:
PLEASE DON'T COME IN RIPPED JEANS AND A TANK TOP.
#Post#: 68407--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: NFPwife Date: July 19, 2021, 6:02 pm
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[quote author=JeanFromBNA link=topic=2113.msg68400#msg68400
date=1626728015]
I'm willing to bet that it really means, WE'RE BEGGING YOU:
PLEASE DON'T COME IN RIPPED JEANS AND A TANK TOP.
[/quote]
Or cargo short and crocs.
Maybe dress codes need to be FFSNCSOJ (For eff's sake, no cargo
shorts or jeans)
#Post#: 68408--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: honeybee42 Date: July 19, 2021, 7:25 pm
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I wonder if what they are wanting is what used to be called
"semi-formal" back in the days when you needed a book, which had
all the details spelled out for each level of formality (none of
which included the sort of things that go with casual these
days), but the idea of "semi-formal" being used conjures up
images of ripped jeans, tank tops, cargo shorts, crocs, PJs, and
so on. Or the attire that, when I was growing up, was termed
around here (midwestern US) as "Sunday go-to-meetin'" attire,
from back in the day when even the men who worked blue collar
jobs showed up to church in dress shirt/tie/and suit/suit-like
pants & jacket.
#Post#: 68411--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: Winterlight Date: July 19, 2021, 8:54 pm
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Portland suggests more laid back to me. I think I'd err on the
side of calling and asking.
#Post#: 68412--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: Asharah Date: July 19, 2021, 9:09 pm
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I heard a joke about a Mom calling the high school to inquire
about the dress code for a "semi-formal" fund-raiser. She was
told not to worry, they just say semi-formal to make sure the
teenagers wear shoes.
#Post#: 68528--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 22, 2021, 1:55 pm
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[quote author=Winterlight link=topic=2113.msg68411#msg68411
date=1626746073]
Portland suggests more laid back to me. I think I'd err on the
side of calling and asking.
[/quote]
Oh! Good catch! What is formal black bloc?
#Post#: 69577--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding
By: Gellchom Date: August 25, 2021, 3:54 pm
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1. Update on this wedding's dress code: I wanted to see what the
invitation itself said about attire. We finally received the
invitation this week (not their fault; overseas can be really
delayed -- our daughter, who lives across the street from us,
got hers weeks ago), and it doesn't say anything about attire.
It gives their wedding website for RSVP. Anyway, the dress code
on the website has changed: it now says "Semi-Formal -- look
nice!" (before, it said, "Formal -- look nice."). I'm not sure
exactly what that means, but I will definitely not wear a long
gown. I assume a cocktail dress or simpler but nice dress (or
pants equivalents) will be fine.
But now I have another attire challenge (talk about a first
world problem!) --
2. I have a cousin (the one I wrote about in the post about the
Zola registry) who had her wedding scheduled for June 2020, then
rescheduled it once or twice before giving up and getting
married privately. They decided to keep the arrangements they'd
made for the wedding and do ... something, I don't know or
really care what, a party or another ceremony of some sort, in
November. The place sounds lovely, but it is not convenient at
all, hours from any city, with not much in the way of
accommodations -- everyone will be scattered around in different
towns, and it will be a long drive in the dark up mountain roads
to the venue. I'm sure it will be really nice, though, and as
we are going to be in the area (northern California) anyway
after the above wedding the previous weekend, we are planning to
attend.
This one is more of a challenge attire-wise. The website says:
[quote]California Cocktail Attire: Wear cocktail dresses, fancy
pantsuits, dressy jumpsuits, and jackets and slacks. Wear shoes
in which you can walk on uneven ground.
The ceremony site is a fifteen-minute walk up a lovely little
trail. For those that need assistance to the top, a shuttle
will be available.[/quote]
In an FAQ section, they have:
[quote]Cocktail attire. But all events will be outside and
temperatures at [Venue] can vary widely so bring some layers.
The ceremony will take place fifteen minutes up a trail so wear
or bring shoes you can walk in.[/quote]
The ceremony starts at 3 pm, and the reception goes until 10 pm,
with an after party until 10:45. You can't really leave before
10 unless you are one of the few people who can bring their own
car to the venue, which has extremely limited parking, so most
people have to park in a town some distance away and take a
shuttle, and the first one will leave at 10 pm. I searched for
average temperatures for November in that town, and it says
average highs of 62 F and average lows of 50 F. Going from 3 to
10 pm could well hit that whole range.
They did define "California Cocktail Attire," which is helpful,
so the terminology isn't my problem (I'm not going to worry
about what, if any, is the difference between "California
Cocktail" in the first paragraph and "Cocktail" in the FAQs).
But I'm trying to figure out how to put together an outfit that
includes (a) a cocktail dress (that won't look odd at 3 pm) AND
(b) shoes in which I can walk on uneven ground up a trail for 15
minutes AND (c) "some layers" (if temperatures can vary so
widely that we will need multiple layers, why is everything
outside? :) )
I have several dressy outfits, and like everyone else nowhere
much to wear them these days, so I really don't want to buy
something new. But that second wedding is tricky. The best I
can find in my closet is a sleeveless black cocktail dress that
has a spangly top with a black bolero and tights and booties
instead of party shoes. I could wear that to the first wedding,
too (although I think I wore it to his sister's wedding, but who
cares). Or maybe just nice wool pants and a sweater, and enough
jewelry to make it "cocktail" enough. And I guess a coat or a
cape or something.
I am no one's idea of a stylist! So any suggestions are most
welcome. Whaddya got?
#Post#: 69578--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding - UPDATE at #17
By: nuku Date: August 25, 2021, 4:02 pm
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I like your ideas. Definitely do tights & boots. I'd also bring
a large shawl/wrap. They're a classic look, & if it gets too
cold, you essentially have a blanket.
Midwesterner here. We are used to dressing for varied weather
over a short period.
#Post#: 69579--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Formal” wedding - UPDATE at #17
By: Hmmm Date: August 25, 2021, 4:14 pm
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I now dress for the reception and not for the time of day of the
ceremony*. All the guests will be in cocktail attire mid day so
you won't look out of place in a cocktail dress. My advice:
-Pick the cocktail outfit you want to wear and the shoes you
want to wear at the reception.
-Bring a pair of flats to walk up the trail for the ceremony.
-Bring a shawl to wear when the temps drop in the evening.
*I remember when brides and bridesmaids wore tea length dresses
for late afternoon ceremonies instead of wearing full length
dresses. But you seldom see that anymore.
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