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#Post#: 68147--------------------------------------------------
Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: Hmmm Date: July 13, 2021, 8:47 am
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HTML https://www.arcamax.com/healthandspirit/lifeadvice/askamy/s-2538725?fs
LW is upset the mother of her son's child insists that she calls
before dropping by. But poor little LW wasn't raised like that
and thinks the mother of the child needs medication or therapy.
Loved Ask Amy's response.
#Post#: 68148--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: BeagleMommy Date: July 13, 2021, 8:54 am
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Wow. The LW could have avoided all this by simply calling first
which is not an unheard of thing.
My family was always a "just drop by" kind of family. My SIL is
not. Her house, her family, her rules. If I want to see my
brother and/or nieces I always call first.
If the LW's son was bothered by his wife's boundaries with his
mom he needs to be the one to speak up. It doesn't seem like
this bothers him.
#Post#: 68155--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: Lilipons Date: July 13, 2021, 10:35 am
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I agree with the mother of the child. In this day and age there
is no excuse not to give notice and ask permission before
visiting. I grew up in a very small town during the 1950s.
Not everyone had a phone but, barring a real emergency, dropping
in with no prior warning was frowned upon.
#Post#: 68156--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: lakey Date: July 13, 2021, 10:57 am
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I had to tell my own parents, who are wonderful people, to call
before coming over. I'd be sleeping in on Saturday morning and
hear them in my driveway.
As far as the letter, it doesn't sound like anyone in this
scenario is very bright. I feel sorry for the baby. A smart
grandmother would make the best of the situation and play nice
with the new mom
#Post#: 68157--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: Soop Date: July 13, 2021, 11:03 am
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Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on
reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence
("slightly older female")
#Post#: 68158--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: Jem Date: July 13, 2021, 11:19 am
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[quote author=Soop link=topic=2109.msg68157#msg68157
date=1626192213]
Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on
reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence
("slightly older female")
[/quote]
Exactly. Contempt and a total lack of awareness of the reality
of the situation. Also, the son/father of the child sounds like
he has a lot of growing up to do, and that is based on his
mother's skewed description of him painting him in his best
light!
#Post#: 68161--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: Rose Red Date: July 13, 2021, 12:16 pm
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Sitcoms make a fortune using the stereotypical bad MIL like her.
Except real life is not funny.
All the mom ask is that she calls before drop by and the LW
thinks she needs to see a doctor and mediated. Wow. There is a
reason her ex is part of the baby's life and she isn't. You can
taste the contempt she has for the baby's mom and I shudder to
imagine how the LW treats the mom when they are in the same
room.
#Post#: 68172--------------------------------------------------
Re: Ask Amy: Boundary challenged MIL gets set straight.
By: honeybee42 Date: July 13, 2021, 2:39 pm
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=2109.msg68158#msg68158
date=1626193149]
[quote author=Soop link=topic=2109.msg68157#msg68157
date=1626192213]
Sounds exactly like the other side of a r/JustNoMIL posting on
reddit. I could read the contempt right from the first sentence
("slightly older female")
[/quote]
Exactly. Contempt and a total lack of awareness of the reality
of the situation. Also, the son/father of the child sounds like
he has a lot of growing up to do, and that is based on his
mother's skewed description of him painting him in his best
light!
[/quote]
Exactly on the contempt "slightly older female" and the "three
children from two previous relationships" (I can almost hear the
"the hussy!" in the tone). On the other hand, I think the
letter writer's son/father of new baby is doing pretty well, as
it seems that he's supporting the decisions of the mother of his
child rather than going behind her (MoC) back, and we only have
letter writer's word for it that he wasn't ready to settle down
in the first place.
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