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#Post#: 67873--------------------------------------------------
Wording help needed UPDATE
By: baritone108 Date: July 3, 2021, 10:29 am
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Thanks, everyone. Your responses have given me some workable
ideas.
My friend M, a very sweet woman, likes to cook and often gives
food to her friends and family. Many of these friends do not
cook for themselves. She recently gave me a bag with several
individual meals and a dessert. For many, many reasons I would
like for her to not do this again but do not want to hurt her
feelings. I also do not want to just accept the food and throw
it away. I'm looking for suggestions of how to word it when I
tell her I want her to stop gifting me food.
#Post#: 67880--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wording help needed
By: Isisnin Date: July 3, 2021, 7:34 pm
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It sounds like it gives her joy to cook for you. Is there
someone(s) you could give the food to, without M knowing? IT
sounds like that might be the only way to not hurt her feelings.
If not, perhaps tell her how much you enjoy her company, with
examples like her jokes are so funny or she's such a great story
teller. Then how kind she is to give you the food, she is a good
cook, but it is too much for you and you feel awful when the
food goes to waste. Then end with "so there is no need to make
me food, but I do need to keep visiting with you".
Another option is to end with, "but I'd really enjoy a home
cooked meal with you every so often, so please let's do that
instead."
#Post#: 67881--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wording help needed
By: gramma dishes Date: July 3, 2021, 8:02 pm
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It might be easier for us to suggest possible wordings if we
knew what your concerns were about her food.
Is it that she makes too much for you and you have no place to
store the rest?
Is it that you are on a fairly strict diet and none of her food
falls within its range?
Is it that you think she is spending money on this food that she
should be spending on herself or her other friends?
Or do you just not like her cooking? Cupcakes with cat hair in
the frosting, etc.?
#Post#: 67882--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wording help needed
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 3, 2021, 8:29 pm
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If she only does this once in a blue moon, I would probably
graciously accept the food and then do my best to find it a new
home. However, it might be easiest to get her to focus on
someone else if possible. "M, it is thoughtful of you to think
of me, but I always give everything to N. She loves and
appreciates the cooking!" Bonus points if you know of an
organization that would appreciate her sort of donations. (Was
it this website that I read about local groups that make lasagna
for anyone wanting/needing it?)
Otherwise, I agree, that knowing your answer for not wanting it
might help us create the wording. My best generic reply, "M, I
really love your kindness, but this food is going to waste on me
as I can't eat it. I would prefer that you gift it to someone
else/save your money."
These always feel like the stickiest situations.
#Post#: 67916--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wording help needed
By: Hmmm Date: July 5, 2021, 11:46 am
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I agree my response would be based on why you don't want to
accept.
If you cook, I'd probably go with something like "Thank you but,
I really enjoy planning out and preparing my meals. It's my way
of relaxing in the evenings. Please share with others who do not
cook."
If your schedule is a bit crazy, maybe a "My schedule is always
changing and I never seem to be able to commit to specific meal
plans and I'm afraid your work with go to waste. But it is a
very sweet offer."
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