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#Post#: 70398--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus One
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 27, 2021, 8:51 am
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[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=2076.msg70395#msg70395
date=1632748742]
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2076.msg70391#msg70391
date=1632747085]
I do think that when seated at a table (whether assigned or
self-seated) that we have a social contract to socialize with
the others at the table. There's no reason that you can't also
chat with those that you do know, but it's important to ensure
that everyone is included in some way. (I even make it a point
to talk with children, as this is how they learn to behave,
too.) Since I am typically the single person in these
situations, I do not expect everyone to forgo their entire meal
to entertain me. I know how to sit quietly and just enjoy the
atmosphere for a few minutes. I also don't leave the
responsibility all on others. In fact, I am often the person who
starts the conversation and introduces myself.
Also I think that there is some responsibility on the hosts to
ensure that all of their guests are comfortable and having a
pleasant time. However, weddings do make that difficult. If the
parents are hosting, they are often trying to enjoy the evening
AND tend to family and such. Although I have definitely had a
father of the bride (or the like) approach me and chat for a
bit. When the wedding is hosted by the HC (which seems to be
happening more and more), it is almost impossible. So, I think
as guests we have to take on a bit of responsibility. I have
definitely approached people who I thought looked alone to
socialize a bit (and had the same done for me.) Yes, weddings
are a time to catch up with family and shouldn't feel like a
job, but if we all take a moment to mingle, then everyone feels
included. And again, as a typically single, I think it's my
responsibility to initiate socialization, too. I think that this
should happen at most types of parties... it's also what makes
them fun.
[/quote]
DaDancingPsych, you are a jewel of a guest. I am totally
inviting you to everything I do from now on!
[/quote]
<brushes tears away> Awww... that is the sweetest thing; thank
you! I just like to have fun and want everyone else to have fun,
too!
#Post#: 70943--------------------------------------------------
Re: Plus One
By: Winterlight Date: October 17, 2021, 3:39 pm
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2076.msg70391#msg70391
date=1632747085]
I do think that when seated at a table (whether assigned or
self-seated) that we have a social contract to socialize with
the others at the table. There's no reason that you can't also
chat with those that you do know, but it's important to ensure
that everyone is included in some way. (I even make it a point
to talk with children, as this is how they learn to behave,
too.) Since I am typically the single person in these
situations, I do not expect everyone to forgo their entire meal
to entertain me. I know how to sit quietly and just enjoy the
atmosphere for a few minutes. I also don't leave the
responsibility all on others. In fact, I am often the person who
starts the conversation and introduces myself.
Also I think that there is some responsibility on the hosts to
ensure that all of their guests are comfortable and having a
pleasant time. However, weddings do make that difficult. If the
parents are hosting, they are often trying to enjoy the evening
AND tend to family and such. Although I have definitely had a
father of the bride (or the like) approach me and chat for a
bit. When the wedding is hosted by the HC (which seems to be
happening more and more), it is almost impossible. So, I think
as guests we have to take on a bit of responsibility. I have
definitely approached people who I thought looked alone to
socialize a bit (and had the same done for me.) Yes, weddings
are a time to catch up with family and shouldn't feel like a
job, but if we all take a moment to mingle, then everyone feels
included. And again, as a typically single, I think it's my
responsibility to initiate socialization, too. I think that this
should happen at most types of parties... it's also what makes
them fun.
[/quote]
I lived in a boarding house for several years and we had an
unwritten rule that if you were sitting at the main dinner
table, you were expected to be at least somewhat social with
people there. You didn't have to be the life of the party, but
you did need to participate in conversation. Whereas if you
weren't up for chatting you could sit at a side table and
everyone knew what that meant. We would get short term guests
and it was expected that you not ignore them at the table, they
needed to be absorbed into the conversation and made welcome. It
meant I got quite good at small talk, and has paid dividends
down the line.
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