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#Post#: 67743--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mrs., Miss or Ms.?
By: TootsNYC Date: June 29, 2021, 9:13 am
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[quote author=peony link=topic=2032.msg67695#msg67695
date=1624802219]
One sometimes wants a bit of psychological or social distance
between one's self and others. For instance, I want my friends
to call me by my first name of course, but if a stranger does it
upon meeting me for the first time, it's off-putting with the
immediate assumption of familiarity that I may not feel like
reciprocating. And I think honorifics serve that function
too--giving people a bit of psychological space and polite
distance so they can evaluate the situation and see whether they
would like to be more informal going forward. In other words,
I'd err on the side of the honorific unless told differently.
For the record, Ms. really does the job, and I hope it becomes
default everrywhere.
[/quote]
"Please--call me Joan."
"This is Mr. James--William to his friends."
nicknames function similarly.
Though...we almost never use honorifics in ordinary face-to-face
business anymore, not even with total strangers.
#Post#: 67745--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mrs., Miss or Ms.?
By: TootsNYC Date: June 29, 2021, 9:18 am
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[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=2032.msg67704#msg67704
date=1624814322]
I agree. An example: I would never want my OB-GYN to call me
by my first name and a certainly wouldn't want to call him by
his first name. He is doctor and I am either Ms or Mrs but not
my given name. First names are for friends and closer
relationships. I do not want my 'friend' giving me physical
exams. I want my professional Dr. Lastname to do that!
[/quote]
I went to see an orthopedist who specializes in sports injuries
and is a team doctor to a pro basketball team. All the folks in
his office were clearly in awe of him: "Dr. Allen this," "Dr.
Allen that," "Dr. Allen is the best..."
Then he walks in, puts out his hand, looks me in the eye and
says, in a friendly way, "Hi, I'm Answorth." I was SO weirded
out!! (but he was the best, and I could clearly see why everyone
in the medical office spoke of him the way they did)
#Post#: 67759--------------------------------------------------
Re: Mrs., Miss or Ms.?
By: holly firestorm Date: June 29, 2021, 4:14 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=2032.msg67745#msg67745
date=1624976283]
[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=2032.msg67704#msg67704
date=1624814322]
I agree. An example: I would never want my OB-GYN to call me
by my first name and a certainly wouldn't want to call him by
his first name. He is doctor and I am either Ms or Mrs but not
my given name. First names are for friends and closer
relationships. I do not want my 'friend' giving me physical
exams. I want my professional Dr. Lastname to do that!
[/quote]
I went to see an orthopedist who specializes in sports injuries
and is a team doctor to a pro basketball team. All the folks in
his office were clearly in awe of him: "Dr. Allen this," "Dr.
Allen that," "Dr. Allen is the best..."
Then he walks in, puts out his hand, looks me in the eye and
says, in a friendly way, "Hi, I'm Answorth." I was SO weirded
out!! (but he was the best, and I could clearly see why everyone
in the medical office spoke of him the way they did)
[/quote]
I'm a big believer that forms of addresses should be mutual. If
your boss wants to be called Mr. Smith he should call you Ms.
Jones...the same even with Doctors. Yes, they have that added
education and expertise...but, when you come right down to
it...you are paying them, not vice versa.
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