DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 65643--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reconnecting with an old friend . . .
By: Gellchom Date: April 16, 2021, 10:03 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Yes, it’s probably true that there’s little or nothing in this
for jpcher. But she didn’t ask what’s in it for her, and it
doesn’t sound like that’s all that matters to her. I think she
wants to be kind, too.
The title of her original post says a lot, I think:
“Reconnecting with an old friend.”
She could have written, “... with a mooch” or “... with an
annoying acquaintance.” But she didn’t. Not even “...with a
former friend.”
There’s something to be said for loyalty, even to someone you no
longer enjoy but hasn’t done you any true injury. Especially to
an old friend. You can never make a new old friend.
That absolutely doesn’t mean you have to rekindle a
relationship! I wouldn’t. But there’s a lot of space between
becoming bffs and refusing to meet for one lunch with your
daughters (in fact canceling an already accepted invitation).
It’s true that she very well may try for more or ask for money
or who knows what, and jpcher will have to say no. And, yes,
that will be awkward. So this may just be one of those
situations in which we have to choose between awkwardness and
preemptive unkindness. (Kind of like a discussion we had
recently about what to say when someone you think might be
interested in you asks if you’re married; the OP there gave a
sort of a brush off answer because she wanted to avoid being in
the awkward position of refusing if he asked her out without
embarrassing him, but in the process of saving herself an
awkward conversation might possibly have made him feel even
worse.)
#Post#: 65686--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reconnecting with an old friend . . . UPDATE #21
By: jpcher Date: April 17, 2021, 4:42 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
UPDATE
So I had a chat with DD#2.
I asked her about Karen's comments about dying. She said that
whenever she goes over there Karen is in her chair, in front of
the TV. DD#2 asks "What's up?" or "How are you doing?" and
Karen's response is always "Oh, nothing much. Just sitting here
waiting to die."
I asked about any current medical issues and DD#2 said "Nothing
new, but you know her. She's always complaining about something.
I asked DD#2 if Debbie talks to her about her mother. She said
that Debbie is ready to move out because her mom is driving her
crazy.
DD#2 said that she did not extend the invitation to Debbie or
her mom, she's waiting until we all get our second vaccine
shots. She also told me that she though it was a good idea
because I need to get out of the house more and that Karen would
really appreciate getting together with me.
I asked DD#2 to put the invitation on hold and please ask me
again at a later date. I told her that, after thinking about it,
I wasn't thrilled about the idea because I didn't want Karen to
glom onto me as a friend again.
She understood. I think.
So we're putting off the lunch invitation until mid-late May (My
DD#1 is coming to town, visiting wedding venues, both DDs bdays
and mothers day)
I'm still on the fence. Partly because I did enjoy her company
as a friend and partly because I don't know if I want to get
back into that type of friendship again.
Thank you all for your replies.
*****************************************************
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page