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#Post#: 65351--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Soop Date: April 8, 2021, 2:49 pm
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[quote author=pierrotlunaire0 link=topic=2026.msg65347#msg65347
date=1617908486]
I wonder why the mother posted this on Nextdoor if she was going
to shut down anyone who didn't immediately concur that she did
the right thing and the man was wrong? As can be seen from the
responses here, there is some gray area (Did he really use the
word 'it'? By it, was he referring to the child or the tantrum?
Did the mother have options?)
[/quote]
Probably similar to some of the people that post on Reddit's Am
I the A-hole. They aren't actually looking for an unbiased
opinion so much as they are looking for validation that they
aren't the a$$. They tend to fight back the most in the
comments.
#Post#: 65353--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Codewoman1125 Date: April 8, 2021, 3:06 pm
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Response deleted
#Post#: 65358--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: DaDancingPsych Date: April 8, 2021, 3:34 pm
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Many people are saying that both individuals could have handled
things better and I do agree. However, I always hear how parents
are trying their best (and no doubt, they typically are), but
rarely do I see that same wiggle room provided to the other
person in these situations. Maybe he was trying his best, too.
We will never know his side of the story, but I can see so many
situations were his patience was just not there. Maybe he was on
his way to the hospital to see a beloved family member who isn't
doing so well and he wanted to pick-up a card. Maybe he just
left work where layoffs are happening and his boss is making him
feel like he's going to be next. Maybe he wasn't feeling well
and just needed to grab some medication before resting the
remainder of the evening. I, too, would not have said anything
to the woman, but I have also been to a point where I break and
I just couldn't take things anymore. We just don't know how his
day was.
#Post#: 65363--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Isisnin Date: April 8, 2021, 6:04 pm
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[quote author=Codewoman1125 link=topic=2026.msg65334#msg65334
date=1617897286]
No good comes from criticizing parenting - ever. And I'm
wondering if that man had ever had to deal with a screaming
child.
We don't know when or why people do what they do and it is none
of my business.
If you are waiting in line and are distressed by what someone
else is doing you should get out of line.
[/quote]
It's not just about if someone causes distress to you, it's also
about if you are causing distress to others.
We have to be considerate of others, others have to be
considerate of us.
#Post#: 65373--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Codewoman1125 Date: April 9, 2021, 10:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Isisnin link=topic=2026.msg65363#msg65363
date=1617923045]
[quote author=Codewoman1125 link=topic=2026.msg65334#msg65334
date=1617897286]
No good comes from criticizing parenting - ever. And I'm
wondering if that man had ever had to deal with a screaming
child.
We don't know when or why people do what they do and it is none
of my business.
If you are waiting in line and are distressed by what someone
else is doing you should get out of line.
[/quote]
It's not just about if someone causes distress to you, it's also
about if you are causing distress to others.
We have to be considerate of others, others have to be
considerate of us.
[/quote]
I disagree that others have to be considerate of us. Based on
the fact that they so often are not considerate of us.
Semantics aside: I'm tempted to double down here, but I think
I'll defer. I believe the man had a choice to deal with the
issue by taking himself out of the situation. He had a choice.
People may not like the look of my bright red shoes. The can
look away.
#Post#: 65381--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: gramma dishes Date: April 9, 2021, 11:18 am
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=2026.msg65358#msg65358
date=1617914067]
Many people are saying that both individuals could have handled
things better and I do agree. However, I always hear how parents
are trying their best (and no doubt, they typically are), but
rarely do I see that same wiggle room provided to the other
person in these situations. Maybe he was trying his best, too.
We will never know his side of the story, but I can see so many
situations were his patience was just not there. Maybe he was on
his way to the hospital to see a beloved family member who isn't
doing so well and he wanted to pick-up a card. Maybe he just
left work where layoffs are happening and his boss is making him
feel like he's going to be next. Maybe he wasn't feeling well
and just needed to grab some medication before resting the
remainder of the evening. I, too, would not have said anything
to the woman, but I have also been to a point where I break and
I just couldn't take things anymore. We just don't know how his
day was.
[/quote]
That's really an excellent point.
#Post#: 65387--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: sms Date: April 9, 2021, 12:29 pm
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We do have to try to be considerate of others....but we can't
always be so brittle that we get mad at normal life with other
people.
I think the child should have been taken out - there was a
grandparent present. It was doable and the considerate thing to
do. I would have had more mercy and sympathy if the mother was
wrangling a flailing, crying kid on her own in the middle of the
checkout. I can bear a couple of minutes of crying if it lets
poor mom finish her purchase and leave.
Yep...some parents wander around oblivious to their kids
behaviour, letting them scream and carry on endlessly and
disrupting other people.
Some people are cranky farts who just want to get mad at
something.
#Post#: 65464--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Hmmm Date: April 12, 2021, 7:53 am
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[quote author=Codewoman1125 link=topic=2026.msg65373#msg65373
date=1617983517]
[quote author=Isisnin link=topic=2026.msg65363#msg65363
date=1617923045]
[quote author=Codewoman1125 link=topic=2026.msg65334#msg65334
date=1617897286]
No good comes from criticizing parenting - ever. And I'm
wondering if that man had ever had to deal with a screaming
child.
We don't know when or why people do what they do and it is none
of my business.
If you are waiting in line and are distressed by what someone
else is doing you should get out of line.
[/quote]
It's not just about if someone causes distress to you, it's also
about if you are causing distress to others.
We have to be considerate of others, others have to be
considerate of us.
[/quote]
I disagree that others [b]have to be considerate of us. Based on
the fact that they so often are not considerate of us.[/b]
Semantics aside: I'm tempted to double down here, but I think
I'll defer. I believe the man had a choice to deal with the
issue by taking himself out of the situation. He had a choice.
People may not like the look of my bright red shoes. The can
look away.
[/quote]
I'm not sure I am following this logic. To me this sounds like
"people don't have to follow the speed limit based on the fact
on how often people are got speeding." Just because people often
break the rule doesn't mean that society should give up on the
rule.
It is much more pleasant to be amongst others if people try to
be aware and care about how their actions are impacting others.
Pre-covid (now people are seldom that close) if I was walking
through a door and heard someone coming behind me, I would hold
the door and not let it swing shut in their face. Yes, there
were times I wasn't aware of someone behind and probably looked
and acted in an inconsiderate way. But that doesn't mean I
shouldn't try to be considerate of how my actions impact others.
Wearing red shoes is not outside of a social norm. Allowing a
child to throw a tantrum in a store for 5 minutes forcing store
workers and other patrons to endure it is outside of a social
norm. Only the man said anything, but you know that at least 90%
of the other people within earshot were irritated by the
tantrum. The store workers can't just walk away. Should all the
patrons irritated by the behavior abandon their merchandise for
the store employees to have to put back just because this woman
was choosing to parent in a specific way?
#Post#: 65467--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: DaDancingPsych Date: April 12, 2021, 8:08 am
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The day when there isn't a certain expected level of
consideration for others is the day that I no longer want to
live in that community. I am not the only person in the world.
Sometimes my actions will impact others; that is just a fact of
living. However, it is important that we are doing our best to
ensure that our actions inconvenience others to a minimal
effect. Some days that might be bigger than others, but we need
to work together to ensure that we are trying not to always be
blocking others from just getting through this life... maybe
even sometimes helping them out.
#Post#: 65493--------------------------------------------------
Re: A Rant from Nextdoor
By: Rho Date: April 12, 2021, 7:05 pm
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Maybe the Grandmom wasn't physically able to manage the child to
remove from the store. Maybe the Grandmom didn't understand
enough English to complete the transaction. Or couldn't be
trusted with her own daughters charge card not to scarf up extra
items for herself.
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