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#Post#: 66591--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: STiG Date: May 17, 2021, 8:15 pm
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That is a gorgeous outfit. I'd need a different colour but I
could totally see me wearing something like that. My Mom would
have loved it, too.
When my brother got married, my mom wore a beautiful dress,
suitable to her age. The bride's Mom? Yeaaah... Bright
purple, form fitting in a very unattractive way and totally not
suitable, IMO. There was a second reception later and she wore
something more similar to what my Mom wore and looked much more
attractive. I commented on how lovely she looked and she told
me she was disappointed because she'd gained a bit of weight and
couldn't fit into the outfit she'd worn to the wedding.
#Post#: 66630--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: jpcher Date: May 18, 2021, 3:57 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2024.msg66517#msg66517
date=1621072766]
I’ve always thought the notion of the bride’s and groom’s
mothers having to wear coordinated outfits is absolutely
deplorable.
[/quote]
I get that. Each of us wearing something that we are comfortable
with that also fits the theme of the wedding is something that
I'm looking for. FsamMom is petite while I am not. There is no
way possible for us to coordinate/match a style that suits the
both of us. However I'd like to try to make it so that she is
not wearing a mini skirt and I am wearing a ball gown. Does that
make sense?
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=2024.msg66584#msg66584
date=1621290688]
I always thought that doesn't mean they need to be
matchy-matchy. The idea is to make sure they are dressed to the
same level of formality and that their outfits don't clash
color-wise if they happen to stand near each other in the
photos.
[/quote]
Bingo! ;D
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2024.msg66585#msg66585
date=1621291699]
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_three-piece-lace-and-georgette-plus-size-set-27975_pantsuits-for-mom
[/quote]
That is absolutely lovely and is the style that I was looking
for. Hanna posted a similar link that is the same style that I
really like.
DaDancingPsych -- Loved and completely agree with your post.
Thank you!
[quote author=Hanna link=topic=2024.msg66518#msg66518
date=1621078178]
Have they chosen a venue? Any idea about number of guests?
Re: "My Day" Unless she's planning to let you plan the whole
wedding, then run the show and be the hostess, this is likely
the most complex, important socially gathering she will ever
plan and execute. It will be her job to ensure her guests are
happy and have a good time. It is wonderful, but "My Day" isn't
a good description of it.
[/quote]
Yes, the venue has been chosen, a deposit has been put down for
~120 guests.
Re: "My Day" -- when DD#1 and Fsam were here for Mothers
Day/Bday weekend I got a chance to talk privately with DD#1. She
told me that I was absolutely right. It's not "My Day" it is
"Our Day". She said that Fsam was awesome as far as researching
venues, looking up dates, wedding planner (he's doing a web site
in trade for Friend doing the wedding planning/coordinating),
setting up appointments and things. DD#1 said that there's "No
way I could do this all without him. We are doing this together.
And that's what I love about him."
#Post#: 66651--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Gellchom Date: May 19, 2021, 7:13 am
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Congratulations!!! This will be so much fun for you all.
Please keep us updated. It's been so long since we could have
weddings!
I've been both MOB and MOG. Here are my thoughts about shopping
for dresses -- especially for hard to fit women like us! Party
dresses are the hardest if you aren't tall and thin and
sometimes young. I'm short and barrel chested, so it's a
challenge for me to find long dresses especially. They seem to
be designed for much taller women, and alteration doesn't always
help (it's not just length, it's proportions of decorations,
placement of necklines, darts, pockets, lapels, etc., back seam
so you don't look like a stegosaurus, and on and on! So I hear
you. But I can also tell you that I eventually found wonderful
gowns I loved for both weddings (I still have both and have
worn them several times; I told my husband we will never turn
down a black tie invitation to anything forever while I still
fit in those dresses). Here are my 2 cents:
1. I agree with the others - you don't want to MATCH the other
mom, or the attendants. But your outfit should harmonize, by
which I mean you want to be the same level of formality as the
other mom, and perhaps the same general length (pants go with
any length). I don't mean super specific, just both either day
or evening outfits, usually cocktail length or gown (or pants,
of the same formality level). Same with fabrics -- like, not
one in chiffon and sequins and one in denim. Accessories can
often bridge the gap, too -- like if you find a gorgeous simple
dress in linen and the other mom is wearing an evening fabric,
you can add party shoes and bling-y accessories to evening-up
your dress. The other thing is color. They definitely don't
have to be the same color, but keep in mind that there will be
lots of photos, so your dress color should harmonize with the
attendants' colors, the flowers, and the other mom's. Not
matchy matchy, but not clashing (e.g., red polka dots or black
and white plaid next to pastel solids and florals).
2. Don't decide in advance what colors or styles you can or
cannot wear. Even if something doesn't usually work for you,
sometimes it just does. Keep an open mind -- searching for
formalwear is hard enough without setting limits in advance.
3. (This one is highly subjective -- your mileage and others'
may certainly vary) I don't recommend bridal shops for moms'
dresses. In general, I find the prices higher and the quality
and creativity lower than regular dress shops or department
stores. But the biggest nuisance is that they take a super long
time to make your dress, and once it's made and you see what it
really looks like on you, you can't cancel the order. I also
find that that few of their styles work well on short women,
even though they make them to order, so they do fit. The
details are just too big and the silhouettes don't look as good
in smaller proportions. So I would look at other stores first.
But there are many exceptions! My mother, who dresses very well
and is also very short, got her dress for my son's wedding at a
bridal/formalwear shop, and she looked and felt fantastic. And
I really love the pants outfit you found at David's! And it
looks like it's ready-to-wear, not something you have to order
and hope it looks good when it comes in a few months. (And wow,
a great price.) So if you feel gorgeous and happy in it, and it
fits your daughter's general vision of the day, then that's the
one! (Plus it looks so comfortable.)
Have fun shopping for your red-carpet-worthy outfit! Keep us in
the loop.
#Post#: 66670--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: jpcher Date: May 19, 2021, 3:57 pm
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I sent DD#1 the pantsuit that was mentioned earlier. Her
response was "I thing you're going to get lost in that outfit
especially if you don't wear heels" (which I probably won't I
haven't worn heels in I don't know how many years!)
She sent me these suggestions:
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_sequin-capelet-sleeve-plus-size-sheath-dress-wbm2424v2w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_plus-size-a-line-mesh-dress-with-beaded-top-wgin18806w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_scalloped-embroidered-overlay-plus-size-dress-29129_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_bead-and-sequin-embellished-mesh-overlay-plus-gown-wgin18924w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
What do you think?
I believe the only requirement is that the outfit has pockets
for tissues. Because I KNOW that I'm going to tear up while I'm
walking her down the isle. I even started crying when I heard
the first few couple of notes when they played the song that
she's (we) going to walk down the isle to . . . "I can't help
falling in love with you" but not Elvis, a cover (I don't
remember the artist.)
The DDs father was a huge Elvis fan, and the fact that they
chose that song brought back happy-time memories for me.
Sigh. How do I block the tears???
#Post#: 66672--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: kareng57 Date: May 19, 2021, 4:20 pm
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[quote author=jpcher link=topic=2024.msg66670#msg66670
date=1621457825]
I sent DD#1 the pantsuit that was mentioned earlier. Her
response was "I thing you're going to get lost in that outfit
especially if you don't wear heels" (which I probably won't I
haven't worn heels in I don't know how many years!)
She sent me these suggestions:
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_sequin-capelet-sleeve-plus-size-sheath-dress-wbm2424v2w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_plus-size-a-line-mesh-dress-with-beaded-top-wgin18806w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_scalloped-embroidered-overlay-plus-size-dress-29129_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_bead-and-sequin-embellished-mesh-overlay-plus-gown-wgin18924w_mother-of-the-bride-dresses
What do you think?
I believe the only requirement is that the outfit has pockets
for tissues. Because I KNOW that I'm going to tear up while I'm
walking her down the isle. I even started crying when I heard
the first few couple of notes when they played the song that
she's (we) going to walk down the isle to . . . "I can't help
falling in love with you" but not Elvis, a cover (I don't
remember the artist.)
The DDs father was a huge Elvis fan, and the fact that they
chose that song brought back happy-time memories for me.
Sigh. How do I block the tears???
[/quote]
I like the first one best, but they're all very nice.
I didn't have much of a choice when it came to DS#2's wedding.
The bride had selected three dresses - all in grey or beige.
They're nice colours on most people, but I'm very pale and beige
makes me look washed-out. I selected one dress and incidentally
her mom also wore beige. A friend told me I should select my
own dress and tell her that, but you don't want married life
starting out in a battle. After all it was their day, not mine.
#Post#: 66675--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: TootsNYC Date: May 19, 2021, 7:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=2024.msg66584#msg66584
date=1621290688]
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2024.msg66517#msg66517
date=1621072766]
I’ve always thought the notion of the bride’s and groom’s
mothers having to wear coordinated outfits is absolutely
deplorable.
[/quote]
I always thought that doesn't mean they need to be
matchy-matchy. The idea is to make sure they are dressed to the
same level of formality and that their outfits don't clash
color-wise if they happen to stand near each other in the
photos.
[/quote]
What Queen said.
They actually are NOT supposed to match exactly, and maybe not
even match in terms of color. And yes, not clash in photos.
And the courtesy is that the bride's mom chooses first--or at
least is offered the opportunity, because in the past she was
the hostess, and she was in chrge of determining exactly HOW
formal the affair was going to be.
And as with most of those courtesies, it came with a
responsibility to choose and to communicate that, so that the
poor MOG isn't standing there with a very formal outfit next to
people who aren't as formal.
#Post#: 66678--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: STiG Date: May 19, 2021, 8:21 pm
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When I was a bridesmaid for a friend, the three of us attendants
ended up choosing a floor length navy blue gown, sleeveless,
with a sheer jacket. The bridesmaids, the bride and the MOB all
went shopping to find the MOB a dress. She tried on a purple
one that we all liked but it was clear she wasn't thrilled.
Then she tried on a navy blue one that she obviously liked but
then she was all worried because we were in navy blue. The
dresses were completely different and the bride only cared that
her Mom felt good, wearing that dress.
Find something that you like and feel good in and run it by DD2,
if you don't like any of her suggestions.
#Post#: 66680--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: kckgirl Date: May 19, 2021, 9:05 pm
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I like the first dress best, followed by #3. All four are
pretty.
#Post#: 66682--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Rho Date: May 19, 2021, 9:48 pm
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#1 is stunning. You may spend more time shopping for a
strapless bra that doesnt show front or back than the actual
dress if you like that one.
#Post#: 66685--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Aleko Date: May 20, 2021, 2:34 am
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I would never normally wear anything with sequins - it’s almost
a phobia, I always expect them to come off, and probably end up
scratchily in my bra - but I agree with everyone that #1 is a
cracker of a dress. I love the idea of an drapey cape that’s
attached, so you don’t have to keep hold of it and keep
adjusting it to keep it right. And the neckline is great:
flattering and dignified. A woman could stand proud in that
dress.
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