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#Post#: 66512--------------------------------------------------
DD#1 and Fsam's wedding planning . . . New question #10
By: jpcher Date: May 14, 2021, 4:02 pm
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So the date and venue has been set. June 2022. They have chosen
their colors and almost decided on the dress and what what Fsam
will wear.
DD#1 asked me to walk her down the isle to give her away.
I know it's a year out, but what on earth am I going to wear? I
asked DD#1 what she thought. My first thought was a dressy pants
outfit. She said "maybe a floor-length gown? Something classy."
Sigh. I'm an apple-shape, big belly thin legs.
I'm wondering if I should get together with FsamMom in order to
coordinate our outfits? FsamMom is a little thing, absolutely
gorgeous in casual clothing, and by casual I mean it's dressy
for my style.
Do you have any thoughts?
Thanks in advance.
#Post#: 66513--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Jem Date: May 14, 2021, 5:43 pm
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HTML https://www.trunkclub.com/womens-style/apple-shaped-body
Exciting! The link above is just one example but google
something like "dresses for apple shape" for ideas on what to
look for. I don't know that you need to coordinate with the
mother of the groom.....but it might be fun to shop together or
bounce ideas off each other! My daughter is twelve but she has a
fancy [sport] banquet coming up and she and her two best friends
on the team have different colorings and shapes and sizes but
have been sending their options around to "coordinate." They
aren't getting the same outfit, or even the same color, just
similar "vibes" so they "will look good in pictures together."
They are having fun even though they aren't shopping together!
Shows like What Not to Wear do a really good job of showing
people how to best flatter their body. Don't try to make your
body "look right" in the current fashion; find clothing that
flatters your best assets exactly how you are right now.
It will be fun to see what you decide on!
#Post#: 66516--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Hanna Date: May 14, 2021, 8:24 pm
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Rather than a Rehearsal dinner we had cocktails and appetizers
at a casual outdoor place for everyone who traveled from out of
town. It was a great way for people to see one another. Not
super expensive and required very little planning.
For gifts, I gave my bridesmaids bags with some of my favorite
things inside, candles, lotions, etc. Also bathrobes from this
place:
HTML https://www.plumprettysugar.com
#Post#: 66517--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Aleko Date: May 15, 2021, 4:59 am
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I’ve always thought the notion of the bride’s and groom’s
mothers having to wear coordinated outfits is absolutely
deplorable. First off, making them match as though they were
part of a circus troupe, instead of consulting their own taste
and judgement, strips them of the dignity that properly belongs
to their role. Second, unless they have remarkably similar
build, colouring and taste, one or both of them will look
terrible.
I remember before my own wedding, my MIL-to-be asking me what my
mother would wear. I said I had no idea but I was sure it would
be lovely, whatever it was. She asked ‘But will she be wearing a
hat?’ I said I didn’t know but quite possibly not, since DM,
though a handsome, elegant woman, had the kind of face that not
many hats suited. MIL-to-be said ‘Oh, but I can’t possibly wear
a hat if DM doesn’t wear one!’ Nonsense, I said: of course you
can if you want to and if your outfit calls for one. So she did,
and she looked fine in her own style, just as my DM did in hers.
But there is no imaginable style that would have made them both
look good.
[quote]I asked DD#1 what she thought. My first thought was a
dressy pants outfit. She said "maybe a floor-length gown?
Something classy."[/quote]
Jpcher, in your place I would focus on the second part of that
answer, rather than the first. The ‘floor-length gown’ bit may
simply have been a vague image of the level of classiness and
formality she has in mind, rather than an instruction. She wants
you to look classy, and of course to look and feel good; she
surely doesn’t want you with a fixed smile, cringing internally
at the thought that you look awful.
To my mind, it would also be rather odd to see a mother in a
floor-length gown walking a bride in a floor-length gown down
the aisle: they would look so similar, there would be a ‘Which
one’s here to get married today?’ look about it. (Odder still if
the bride had chosen to wear a shorter gown!) Maybe DD#1 hasn’t
actually pictured that?
#Post#: 66518--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Hanna Date: May 15, 2021, 6:29 am
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What you should wear depends greatly on venue and time of day.
I read somewhere that the Mother of the Bride's attire can have
the effect of setting the tone for a wedding. If the MOB is
wearing formal attire, everyone should be. The formality of the
invitation should be an indication to the guests of how formal
they should dress.
Here's a style that can be very dressy but still comfortable and
modern. If you don't normally wear dresses, you might feel more
comfortable in this style (there are tons of colors, styles, etc
with similar flowing pants, long and short jackets, variety of
tops)
HTML https://www.macys.com/shop/product/r-m-richards-3-pc.-sequined-lace-pantsuit-jacket?ID=6044671&CategoryID=157&isDlp=true&swatchColor=Coal
Have they chosen a venue? Any idea about number of guests?
Re: "My Day" Unless she's planning to let you plan the whole
wedding, then run the show and be the hostess, this is likely
the most complex, important socially gathering she will ever
plan and execute. It will be her job to ensure her guests are
happy and have a good time. It is wonderful, but "My Day" isn't
a good description of it.
#Post#: 66531--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Rho Date: May 15, 2021, 10:29 pm
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Switch the pants for a long skirt, remove the vest and the
outfit Hanna posted was what I wore to DD1 wedding! Same colour
and mfg! Except for the bride I was the only one that formal at
the evening outdoor wedding followed by dinner and dancing in a
rustic venue. I tried on lots of short dresses and didn't feel
important enough. MOG dressed like she was a teacher at
conferences. I can't even remember what the lone Grandmother
wore.
When I was married we had full comliment of matching
bridesmaids, Moms and Grandma all wearing the same colour. That
just isn't done anymore.
#Post#: 66575--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: DaDancingPsych Date: May 17, 2021, 3:11 pm
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I am the last person who you should get fashion advice from.
However, YOU should feel good in what you wear. For my sister's
wedding, my mom had selected this yellow suit jacket and skirt.
It looked amazing on her and fit the the wedding appropriately.
However, the groom's mother had decided that she wanted to wear
a lacy, formal number. My mom worried that she wasn't getting
dressed up enough (she was) and went and bought a dress that she
hated. She should have stuck with the original. You have a year
to try on a few things and figure out what options might feel
great on you and let DD know how you feel about them!
#Post#: 66584--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: QueenFaninCA Date: May 17, 2021, 5:31 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2024.msg66517#msg66517
date=1621072766]
I’ve always thought the notion of the bride’s and groom’s
mothers having to wear coordinated outfits is absolutely
deplorable.
[/quote]
I always thought that doesn't mean they need to be
matchy-matchy. The idea is to make sure they are dressed to the
same level of formality and that their outfits don't clash
color-wise if they happen to stand near each other in the
photos.
#Post#: 66585--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: Hmmm Date: May 17, 2021, 5:48 pm
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My sister wore something like this to her son's wedding
reception. She did wear a floor length dress for the ceremony.
There was a 5 hour gap. Looking at the photos, she really wishes
she had worn this to the ceremony as well. She is very large
chested with a belly and dresses and skirts just don't do well
on her. With her small hips and legs, she just does better in
pants.
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_three-piece-lace-and-georgette-plus-size-set-27975_pantsuits-for-mom
I agree you do not need to match the MOG. She has something
close enough in formality that it looks like you are both
attending the same wedding. You also don't want to be too
similar.
#Post#: 66587--------------------------------------------------
Re: DD#1 and BFsam's wedding planning
By: chigger Date: May 17, 2021, 6:15 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2024.msg66585#msg66585
date=1621291699]
My sister wore something like this to her son's wedding
reception. She did wear a floor length dress for the ceremony.
There was a 5 hour gap. Looking at the photos, she really wishes
she had worn this to the ceremony as well. She is very large
chested with a belly and dresses and skirts just don't do well
on her. With her small hips and legs, she just does better in
pants.
HTML https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_three-piece-lace-and-georgette-plus-size-set-27975_pantsuits-for-mom
I agree you do not need to match the MOG. She has something
close enough in formality that it looks like you are both
attending the same wedding. You also don't want to be too
similar.
[/quote]
That's a really pretty outfit!
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