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#Post#: 64720--------------------------------------------------
Dinner party at 4.30pm? Update p21
By: LifeOnPluto Date: March 22, 2021, 5:34 am
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The other week my partner and I were invited to a casual dinner
party by one of our friends. The invitation was for '4pm
onwards'. We assumed that it meant 'Turn up after 4pm, we'll
hang out, have some drinks and nibbles, and the main meal will
be served around the standard dinner time' - which in my region
is normally anywhere between 6-8pm.
However, the Hostess sent around a reminder email today, letting
everyone know that dinner would be served at 4.30pm. To me,
that's extremely early! For reference, my partner and I normally
eat around 7-7.30pm. At 4.30pm, I'm not remotely hungry for a
large meal.
Of course my partner and I won't say anything as it's not our
place. On one hand, I think it's slightly odd and inconsiderate
for host a meal outside of the standard hours. (I'd feel the
same way if say, someone invited me for lunch at 10am). On the
other hand, I completely agree that the host/ess of a dinner
party has the perfect right to choose the time of the meal - and
I'm sure our friend probably has a good reason for doing so
(even if that reason is simply "I prefer to eat early").
My etiquette question is - would it be rude to ask for a smaller
portion of dinner? Or just leave whatever I can't physically
eat? Or just skip lunch, and rock up at 4.30pm starving and
ready to chow down? I'm curious to know how others would handle
this!
#Post#: 64721--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: oogyda Date: March 22, 2021, 6:49 am
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I don't see that there's anything to "handle". You eat as much
as you care to. If it were a dinner at your preferred time,
would you feel obligated to eat everything on your plate?
I had thought about suggesting a few reasons why they might be
serving the meal at that time, but decided they don't really
need a reason or justification for doing so. As you said, they
have the perfect right to choose the time of the meal.
It may be a little odd, but there is nothing inconsiderate about
it.
#Post#: 64722--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: lowspark Date: March 22, 2021, 7:57 am
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I agree that it's odd but at least you have advance notice.
Especially since you expected the meal to be served at a normal
time despite the early start time, it's good to know that dinner
will indeed be served at 4:30, not after 6.
So I would plan for it. I'd eat a big breakfast and no lunch, or
eat a very small amount for lunch. In other words, plan your
meals that day so as to be hungry for dinner at 4:30.
#Post#: 64724--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: Jem Date: March 22, 2021, 8:00 am
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Since you know ahead of time when dinner will be served, I would
plan your other food for the day accordingly. Have brunch
instead of lunch, or have a light lunch or snacks. Or just
attend the event and enjoy people's company and eat what you
feel like.
I don't think the timing is rude at all.
#Post#: 64726--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: STiG Date: March 22, 2021, 8:05 am
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I don't see the timing as rude. It would have been
inconsiderate of the hostess if they hadn't let everyone know
what time the meal was to be served, as it is an unusual time
for dinner.
#Post#: 64727--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 22, 2021, 8:11 am
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I would handle this as I do everyday and adjust my meals to fit
the plans for the day. I would probably have a larger breakfast,
snack-like lunch, enjoy the party, and if needed have a bedtime
snack. However, I think this highlights how sharing dinner time
is important. I can think of other stories where guests showed
up at 4pm and were wondering if they should order pizza at 10pm.
Communication is the key to keeping your guests comfortable.
I do want to say that I think that you should only eat what you
want. There's no need to over-stuff yourself if you find that
you are not hungry then.
#Post#: 64734--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: Rose Red Date: March 22, 2021, 10:45 am
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I would probably eat small meals throughout the day (grazing) so
I'm ready to eat at 4:30pm.
I would also pack some snacks in my handbag just in case of
delays.
At one job, there were so many employees that a bunch of us were
scheduled lunch at 10:00am :P. My body adjusted. Perhaps
something like that is happening with this couple.
#Post#: 64735--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: oogyda Date: March 22, 2021, 10:46 am
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Is the hostess one of the
"Women - talented, intelligent women - who give up their
hobbies and interests once they become mothers."
You mentioned in another thread?
#Post#: 64736--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: Hmmm Date: March 22, 2021, 10:48 am
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In our family, we'll often have meals for family events at odd
times. Most of us have normal dinners between 6 and 8. However,
if we are doing something on Sunday evening, we will pretty much
plan to have dinner around 4:30 or 5 so that people can get home
earlier, especially when kids are involved. But the family is
aware of this and plans their meals for the day to accommodate.
We might brunch instead of lunch or we might just have a very
light lunch.
The other thing we may do is a "late lunch" where we will eat
around 2pm so again the participants modify their meal schedule
with maybe a later or heavier breakfast.
I think it is great the hosts gave a specific time so you could
plan accordingly. If you absolutely know that you'll only nibble
on the meal, then you can plan to have a snack when you return
home that evening.
#Post#: 64746--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dinner party at 4.30pm?
By: gramma dishes Date: March 22, 2021, 12:04 pm
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As long as you know what time food will be served you can just
plan accordingly. Eat the previous meal a little earlier (or
eat a little less of it) so you can be hungry again by the time
the meal is served.
I am confident that the hosts may have very specific reasons
they need to serve their food at what for most people might seem
an exceptionally early time. :-\
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