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#Post#: 63902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighboohood...watch?
By: sms Date: February 23, 2021, 12:59 pm
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[quote author=Jem link=topic=1993.msg63892#msg63892
date=1614092677]
I agree with AvidReader. I think most people can discern what is
gossip and what is genuine concern. When I hear other parents
talk negatively about kids who are not their own in front of
other parents I generally don't think well of the gossipers. I
don't know that there is any way to change people who gossip,
but I do my best to distance myself from any of it.
OP, I trust that you know your daughter better than any of the
other people in your neighborhood do. It can be difficult to let
negative gossipy vibes slide off your back but it probably is
best to not expect your neighbors to alert you about anything,
trivial or large, and just disengage when they try to engage you
in gossip about your daughter or anyone else.
[/quote]
Right - I don't really trust information received this way.
#Post#: 63909--------------------------------------------------
Re: Neighboohood...watch?
By: Hmmm Date: February 23, 2021, 2:06 pm
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[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1993.msg63899#msg63899
date=1614104824]
Apologize for what? I didn't get angry with her - it was just a
bit awkward.
The conversation wasn't quite that straightforward - it went
more like this ( not verbatim but close enough ):
Linda: Cindy saw Julia walking home from school
yesterday....(trails off...)
Me: ( Knowing something is coming ) Oh...what's up?
Linda: Well...some kids were smoking.
Me: Was Julia smoking?
Linda: She didn't say that.
Me: So she just told you she saw some kids smoking and Julia
was with them? I don't really know what I can do about that.
Linda: Yeah...she thought you should know but doesn't know you
well enough to approach you.
Me: Err...OK....
So yeah - actually I do want a little more discretion in what is
reported to me. I would want to know if Julia was smoking - for
sure. I don't want reports of every Tom, Dick and Harry smoking
though.
I don't know why but it felt as it there was a pulling teeth
element to trying to get clarity that didn't sit right.
Maybe it's just different parenting styles. I wouldn't have
repeated something like that.
[/quote]
We obviously don't know your tone. Given that your upset with
the conversation and you having said it ended awkward, I'm
hearing the above response as a bit confrontational. Had you
said "I don't really know what I can do about that" to me, I
would have taken it that way too, and dismissive. Maybe I'm
thinking you and Linda are better friends than you really are.
Had any of my good friends brought something up like this to me,
the conversation would have been closer to:
Linda: Cindy saw Julia walking home from school
yesterday....(trails off...)
Me: ( Knowing something is coming ) Oh...what's up?
Linda: Well...some kids were smoking.
Me: Was Julia smoking?
Linda: She didn't say that.
Me: Well, thanks but it doesn't sound like anything I need to
worry about. Maybe Cindy is just looking to stir the pot.
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