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#Post#: 63239--------------------------------------------------
The JADEing supervisor - latest update post 22
By: NFPwife Date: January 31, 2021, 10:28 pm
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A friend called tonight about an interaction she gets caught in,
repeatedly, with a new-ish employee. She was conceptualizing
this as a "generational thing" but I see it as JADEing and then
losing the expectation she's trying to set in all the
conversation. I've talked to her about this site so she asked me
to get perspective from all of you.
Friend states an expectation, something she describes as pretty
basic that's just company policy. Employee gives the reasons why
she's hasn't done it. Friend gives the rationale for why it's
done that way. Employee says more about why she doesn't
currently meet the policy, then shifts to something she does
well
Friend walks away thinking the expectation is set and employee
will start complying. Employee, IMO, walks away thinking
supervisor understands why she isn't meeting the policy and
doesn't plan too. (That's just my guess, I don't have the
employee's perspective obviously.)
When friend follows up about why the expectation isn't being
met, the employee expresses that her understanding was that she
didn't have to meet that expectation.
Here's what I think it looks like -
S- Please start putting adhesive tape on the lids of the teapots
when you pack them for shipping
E - I don't put tape on the lids because the Styrofoam packing
fits really tightly and and I also tape the box really well
S - At International House of Kettles, we tape the lids so they
don't rattle and crack when shipping
E - My lids don't rattle and they won't crack because I make
sure the package is really, really secure
S - I appreciate you making the package secure
E - Thanks, I also make sure that the address is legible and the
label is easy for the shipper to scan.
Two weeks later -
S- You aren't taping your lids for shipping. We just received a
notice that one has to be replaced because the lid was **** in
shipping.
E- I told you I wasn't going to tape the lid and you said it was
okay
S- (goes down the rabbit hole) I didn't say you didn't have to
tape them. (Outlines previous conversation then says) our
company policy is to tape them because....
E- Mine don't crack
S- This one just did
E- It must have been because of (other reasons)
While we were talking, I recommended that friend do an
expectation sandwich.
So it would look like Expectation/ rationale or explanation/
Expectation. Bonus points for adding a deadline.
I honestly thought friend shouldn't even give much rationale
beyond "this is company policy" because it seems to lead them
off topic, but friend's committed to a little explaining.
Friend is open to ideas. This is making her nuts, she said she
has "Sunday night dread" about dealing with this employee
tomorrow.
#Post#: 63241--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: Aleko Date: February 1, 2021, 2:38 am
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Your friend needs to amend her approach to something like this:
“I appreciate the care you are putting into making the
package secure*. But taping the lids has been identified as a
basic necessity, since a non-secure lid is the part most likely
to crack, so company procedure requires that it be done, period.
If you fail to tape them your packaging will be rated not up to
standard, however beautifully you do everything else. If any
damage occurs to a shipment and the lids aren’t taped you
will be found at fault, even if the damage was due to another
cause; and I as your supervisor will also be blamed for not
making you do your job as specified by the company. So, from now
on, just do it. “
Saying “I appreciate your making the package secure”
and leaving it at that amounts to an endorsement of the
employee’s behaviour. By all means let the supervisor
applaud her care and thought, but that must be followed up by an
unequivocal statement that care and thought just won’t cut
the mustard if basic procedures are not followed, and that she
will find herself in trouble if she doesn’t comply.
* Edited to add: she shouldn't say "I appreciate you making the
package secure", because the whole point at issue is that as far
as the company is concerned the package has not been made secure
unless its mandated minimum standards have been met.
#Post#: 63242--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: LurkingGurl Date: February 1, 2021, 3:05 am
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At what point is it ok to say:
"I don't care. Just do it."
#Post#: 63244--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: NFPwife Date: February 1, 2021, 7:01 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1985.msg63241#msg63241
date=1612168732]
Your friend needs to amend her approach to something like this:
“I appreciate the care you are putting into making the package
secure*. But taping the lids has been identified as a basic
necessity, since a non-secure lid is the part most likely to
crack, so company procedure requires that it be done, period. If
you fail to tape them your packaging will be rated not up to
standard, however beautifully you do everything else. If any
damage occurs to a shipment and the lids aren’t taped you will
be found at fault, even if the damage was due to another cause;
and I as your supervisor will also be blamed for not making you
do your job as specified by the company. So, from now on, just
do it. “
Saying “I appreciate your making the package secure” and leaving
it at that amounts to an endorsement of the employee’s
behaviour. By all means let the supervisor applaud her care and
thought, but that must be followed up by an unequivocal
statement that care and thought just won’t cut the mustard if
basic procedures are not followed, and that she will find
herself in trouble if she doesn’t comply.
* Edited to add: she shouldn't say "I appreciate you making the
package secure", because the whole point at issue is that as far
as the company is concerned the package has not been made secure
unless its mandated minimum standards have been met.
[/quote]
Great point. I think friend tries to praise approximations of
the behavior/ expectation, but it seems like she's endorsing
employee's perspective that employee is doing enough to meet
standards or the standards don't apply.
[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
link=topic=1985.msg63242#msg63242 date=1612170334]
At what point is it ok to say:
"I don't care. Just do it."
[/quote]
Agree! I told friend to listen to all the explanation and then
say, "Be that as it may," and restate the expectation.
#Post#: 63249--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: oogyda Date: February 1, 2021, 10:40 am
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Friend could point out that what employee considers an
explanation is really just an excuse and they should just follow
procedure.
#Post#: 63251--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: Luci Date: February 1, 2021, 11:37 am
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Isn’t that insubordination? It IS company policy. Do it! Is all
she needs at the end. I sort of like the explanation at first
-Once only.
#Post#: 63253--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: canadian_kelly Date: February 1, 2021, 11:46 am
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I wonder if this is a bit of communication style difference? I
tend to be a very direct speaker and I can have trouble getting
the point sometimes from a less forthright statement.
So, to me that statement by the supervisor is vague
"S - I appreciate you making the package secure"
If I were the supervisor I would probably say (and as an
employee I would appreciate hearing):
"Nonetheless, the lids must be taped. It is company policy that
every lid be taped, without exception, regardless of the other
security measures."
No doubt, the employee should follow company policy but I can
kind of see how the employee didn't get it.
#Post#: 63257--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: TootsNYC Date: February 1, 2021, 1:25 pm
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[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
link=topic=1985.msg63242#msg63242 date=1612170334]
At what point is it ok to say:
"I don't care. Just do it."
[/quote]
The second time.
Maybe not quite so bluntly that time.
but yes, this needs to be phrased as an order.
And that, you can flat-out say.
"I want to be clear: this is an order. You must do it this way."
And I might say, and probably have said, "I gave you the reasons
because I want you to understand them, but this is not actually
a negotiation. It is, in fact, an order. This is how I want you
to do it. It is the policy, and this is what I want to see from
you. Have I been clear?"
She needs to just get "bossy" now.
I remember having read something about how often men don't hear
directions from women as direct orders--partly because women
will phrase them as a request ("would you do X?") and men tend
to think they're actually being asked, and that a "no" is a
reasonable answer. And partly because some men resist being
directed by a woman.
As a consequence of having read that, I became very direct, no
matter who I am speaking to. "I need you to do X," and not even
"Please do X," and never "Would you do X?"
I get my politeness and friendliness in with my tone of voice
and a "thanks" afterward.
Once I've worked with someone a bit, I'll soften it up to
"would you...," if I know that they take that as directions and
not a request.
By now with this lady, I wouldn't even want to listen to her
explanations. I'd cut that conversation short, with only my
directive, and no feedback from her.
#Post#: 63258--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: TootsNYC Date: February 1, 2021, 1:29 pm
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[quote]Agree! I told friend to listen to all the explanation and
then say, "Be that as it may," and restate the expectation.
[/quote]
Or "Nevertheless."
But she needs to follow it up very directly with: "This is
company policy. You must do it this way, no matter what you
might think. It is not our prerogative to do it our own way."
And I'd actually ask, once I'd been quite direct, if I had to
come back again, for the employee to tell me what it is they
understand.
"Can you tell me that you will tape the lids from now on? I'd
like to hear you say it."
I kind of wouldn't care (by now) if it sounded like I was
treating them like a recalcitrant middle schooler.
#Post#: 63259--------------------------------------------------
Re: The JADEing supervisor
By: lakey Date: February 1, 2021, 1:33 pm
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[quote] It IS company policy. Do it! Is all she needs at the
end. I sort of like the explanation at first -Once only.[/quote]
This. I think that the fewer words the better. The more talking
there is, the more likelihood of misunderstanding. "You are
required to tape the lids of the teapots."
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