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#Post#: 63133--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Hmmm Date: January 28, 2021, 8:34 am
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I was browsing Miss Manners last night and ran across 2nd letter
that addresses the Mr. & Mrs. Joe Blow. Interesting that a 60
year old is having this discussion with her 80 year old mom.
HTML https://www.uexpress.com/miss-manners/2021/1/26/service-workers-deserve-respect----no
#Post#: 63162--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Dr. F. Date: January 28, 2021, 8:36 pm
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As an academic, I consider it appropriate to call me Dr. F. in
the classroom. That's my job, I have a Ph.D. It really kind of
drives me nuts to be called Mrs. F., since I've never been
married. I always say, don't call me that, that's my mom.
Sometimes students respond that it was meant respectfully, and I
have to wonder, why is it more respectable to be married than to
have gotten a Ph.D.? It's particularly irritating when they
refer to male faculty as Dr. and female faculty as Mrs. (despite
both having a Ph.D.). That's happened several times, at least
once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a Ph.D., so a
married woman should be happier being called Mrs., because that
was more important than the mere fact of earning a Ph.D.
Outside of the classroom, I'm happy to be called Ms. F.
#Post#: 63168--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Aleko Date: January 29, 2021, 3:14 am
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[quote]As an academic, I consider it appropriate to call me Dr.
F. in the classroom. That's my job, I have a Ph.D. It really
kind of drives me nuts to be called Mrs. F., since I've never
been married. I always say, don't call me that, that's my mom.
Sometimes students respond that it was meant respectfully, and I
have to wonder, why is it more respectable to be married than to
have gotten a Ph.D.? It's particularly irritating when they
refer to male faculty as Dr. and female faculty as Mrs. (despite
both having a Ph.D.). That's happened several times, at least
once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a Ph.D., so a
married woman should be happier being called Mrs., because that
was more important than the mere fact of earning a Ph.D.[/quote]
:o :o :o
Of course it would have been rude to hit the person who told you
that on the head with a brick. But given that the person holding
this opinion was your student at an academic institution, it
would have been legitimate to advise them that if they valued
education so little, they were wasting their time, your efforts,
and their (or their parents’) money pursuing it, and they would
do better to concentrate on hooking someone - anyone - to marry
them, since they believed that was more important.
#Post#: 63177--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Hmmm Date: January 29, 2021, 8:57 am
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[quote author=Dr. F. link=topic=1978.msg63162#msg63162
date=1611887812]
As an academic, I consider it appropriate to call me Dr. F. in
the classroom. That's my job, I have a Ph.D. It really kind of
drives me nuts to be called Mrs. F., since I've never been
married. I always say, don't call me that, that's my mom.
Sometimes students respond that it was meant respectfully, and I
have to wonder, why is it more respectable to be married than to
have gotten a Ph.D.? It's particularly irritating when they
refer to male faculty as Dr. and female faculty as Mrs. (despite
both having a Ph.D.). That's happened several times, at least
once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a Ph.D., so a
married woman should be happier being called Mrs., because that
was more important than the mere fact of earning a Ph.D.
Outside of the classroom, I'm happy to be called Ms. F.
[/quote]
I'm hoping that was said in gest due to them calling you the
wrong thing. Or else you've been unfortunate to run into an
unusual character. I'm in my mid 50's and grew up in the South.
I've never met anyone who would make the claim that a Mrs should
be used for a Dr.
#Post#: 63184--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: gramma dishes Date: January 29, 2021, 10:46 am
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[quote author=Dr. F. link=topic=1978.msg63162#msg63162
date=1611887812]
... at least once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a
Ph.D., so a married woman should be happier being called Mrs.,
because that was more important than the mere fact of earning a
Ph.D. ...
[/quote]
Was it your husband who said that? ;D
#Post#: 63193--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Dr. F. Date: January 29, 2021, 11:05 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1978.msg63168#msg63168
date=1611911677]
[quote]As an academic, I consider it appropriate to call me Dr.
F. in the classroom. That's my job, I have a Ph.D. It really
kind of drives me nuts to be called Mrs. F., since I've never
been married. I always say, don't call me that, that's my mom.
Sometimes students respond that it was meant respectfully, and I
have to wonder, why is it more respectable to be married than to
have gotten a Ph.D.? It's particularly irritating when they
refer to male faculty as Dr. and female faculty as Mrs. (despite
both having a Ph.D.). That's happened several times, at least
once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a Ph.D., so a
married woman should be happier being called Mrs., because that
was more important than the mere fact of earning a Ph.D.[/quote]
:o :o :o
Of course it would have been rude to hit the person who told you
that on the head with a brick. But given that the person holding
this opinion was your student at an academic institution, it
would have been legitimate to advise them that if they valued
education so little, they were wasting their time, your efforts,
and their (or their parents’) money pursuing it, and they would
do better to concentrate on hooking someone - anyone - to marry
them, since they believed that was more important.
[/quote]
Actually, horrifyingly, it was a staff member who said that. We
were interviewing for a new Department Chair. She listed the two
male candidates as Dr. and the female as Mrs. and came out with
that little gem. I made her change it anyway.
#Post#: 63203--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Aleko Date: January 29, 2021, 1:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote]Actually, horrifyingly, it was a staff member who said
that. We were interviewing for a new Department Chair. She
listed the two male candidates as Dr. and the female as Mrs. and
came out with that little gem. I made her change it
anyway.[/quote]
Yikes! That is horrifying. I like to think that if I were a PhD
who'd been shortlisted for an academic post at an institution
and found the male candidates listed as Dr. and me as Mrs, I'd
walk out of the interview, telling them in plain words that I
didn't want to work for an institution that didn't value women's
contribution to learning.
#Post#: 63219--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: TootsNYC Date: January 29, 2021, 9:38 pm
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[quote author=Dr. F. link=topic=1978.msg63193#msg63193
date=1611939912]
...I have to wonder, why is it more respectable to be married
than to have gotten a Ph.D.? It's particularly irritating when
they refer to male faculty as Dr. and female faculty as Mrs.
(despite both having a Ph.D.). That's happened several times, at
least once, I was told being a Mrs. trumped being a Ph.D., so a
married woman should be happier being called Mrs., because that
was more important than the mere fact of earning a Ph.D.
...
Actually, horrifyingly, it was a staff member who said that. We
were interviewing for a new Department Chair. She listed the two
male candidates as Dr. and the female as Mrs. and came out with
that little gem. I made her change it anyway.
[/quote]
This made me think of Dorothy Sayers's Gaudy Night, a Lord Peter
Wimsey / Harriet Vane mystery set at Oxford.
#Post#: 63299--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: TootsNYC Date: February 2, 2021, 3:51 pm
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I've been thinking about this and wondering why they didn't
introduce them as "former first lady Michelle Obama" and "former
first lady Laura Bush"
I guess because those aren't actual titles and more
descriptions?
#Post#: 63416--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Mrs. Laura Bush," "Mrs. Michelle Obama"
--a change to old etiquette
By: Codewoman1125 Date: February 5, 2021, 4:22 pm
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When I was a Taekwondo student, the school was owned by a woman.
She was in a relationship with a man who rose through the ranks
and began instructing sometimes. We used the Mr. X and Miss X
titles for everyone. So she was Miss HerLastName. When he began
instructing, some of the students called her boyfriend Mr.
HerLastName. ;D He just rolled with it. Eventually, pretty much
all the students figured it out. They are now married, and the
kids are just fine calling them Miss HerLastName and Mr.
HisLastName.
My last name was hard to pronounce. So I was Miss M.
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