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       #Post#: 62337--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: Luci Date: January 4, 2021, 10:18 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=PVZFan link=topic=1971.msg62335#msg62335
       date=1609818644]
       [quote author=irises08 link=topic=1971.msg62327#msg62327
       date=1609805949]
       Thanks everyone.  Agree.  I will say nothing and write a thank
       you note as I usually do.  Grace iis so important. especially in
       these tough times.  No one needs more on their plate than
       necessary.
       [/quote]
       I'm glad you arrived at this decision. I have a friend who is
       highly critical of gifts. I bought her a coffee gift card
       because she loves coffee and coffee shops but won't treat
       herself. I thought she would enjoy it and it would give her
       permission to enjoy a coffee. Nope. She told me the coffee shop
       in their town wasn't really close to her. She wanted me to take
       it back and gift her something else. (She's asked directly about
       other things, this was more hint-ish.) I said, "I'm sure you'll
       figure something out. You drive a lot, I bet you'll see one when
       you're out." A while later she messaged to say she finally
       figured out how to use the card - she bought ground coffee she
       could use at home to make coffee. That way she stretched the
       card value as far as possible.
       That was the last gift I bought her.
       [/quote]
       She asked you for another gift? I’m aghast!
       #Post#: 62338--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: NFPwife Date: January 4, 2021, 11:22 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Luci link=topic=1971.msg62337#msg62337
       date=1609820337]
       [quote author=PVZFan link=topic=1971.msg62335#msg62335
       date=1609818644]
       [quote author=irises08 link=topic=1971.msg62327#msg62327
       date=1609805949]
       Thanks everyone.  Agree.  I will say nothing and write a thank
       you note as I usually do.  Grace iis so important. especially in
       these tough times.  No one needs more on their plate than
       necessary.
       [/quote]
       I'm glad you arrived at this decision. I have a friend who is
       highly critical of gifts. I bought her a coffee gift card
       because she loves coffee and coffee shops but won't treat
       herself. I thought she would enjoy it and it would give her
       permission to enjoy a coffee. Nope. She told me the coffee shop
       in their town wasn't really close to her. She wanted me to take
       it back and gift her something else. (She's asked directly about
       other things, this was more hint-ish.) I said, "I'm sure you'll
       figure something out. You drive a lot, I bet you'll see one when
       you're out." A while later she messaged to say she finally
       figured out how to use the card - she bought ground coffee she
       could use at home to make coffee. That way she stretched the
       card value as far as possible.
       That was the last gift I bought her.
       [/quote]
       She asked you for another gift? I’m aghast!
       [/quote]
       Here's the best one - I bought her baby clothes for her son. Six
       month sizes and appropriate to the weather when he'd be 4-6
       months. We went out to lunch when he was about 18 months old.
       (Maybe a bit younger) She gave me back those baby clothes and
       asked me to return them and use the store credit for his current
       size. She said she'd gotten so many things that she hadn't had a
       chance to put these on him and since I likely used my store card
       at the department store, they could just look it up and give me
       full credit. The gift receipt was expired and she didn't want
       the credit for the lowest price these things had sold at because
       "that wouldn't be fair." (I suspect she'd already gone to the
       store and they wanted to give her something incredibly low for
       the items.)
       This went back and forth, I said, "No, I don't want to be 'that
       person' " and "I know they'll do it, but that's so involved and
       takes a lot of effort to get them to." She set the gift bag on
       my side of the bench as if "That's settled."
       I donated the clothes to a local non-profit that supports young
       mothers and told her I'd found a "brilliant solution" to the
       situation. So, after my donating the gift, she didn't ask
       outright for a replacement for that gift card, but she really
       hinted. She's the absolute worst for gifts. (I've posted about
       her before and this conversation reminds me of something that
       happened right before the pandemic hit here. I'll start a new
       thread about it tomorrow.)
       #Post#: 62340--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: Aleko Date: January 5, 2021, 2:40 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Away back in the Filofax age (remember those?), in the run-up to
       every Christmas I’d take a fresh page and jot down the names of
       everyone I regularly give presents to, and as I thought of and
       found a present for them I’d write that in. I never tore out and
       discarded that page, which meant that every Christmas I could
       check the last few years’ pages to see what I’d given them
       before. A couple of times that actually did save me from giving
       people the same thing twice. These days, every November I just
       create a document on my PC for what I’m giving to who. I know
       that if I were properly organised I could and should do
       something similar to keep track, but that actually takes
       forethought and effort - which just not-tearing-out-the-page
       didn’t require!
       #Post#: 62343--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: Dazi Date: January 5, 2021, 5:02 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=ZekailleTasker link=topic=1971.msg62310#msg62310
       date=1609783494]
       As someone who has received, not just the same shirt...but the
       EXACT SAME SHIRT (because I gave it away to the thrift store
       five years later and my friend bought it again and gave it to me
       again)...just smile, say thanks...and then, if you are like
       me...MAIL it to someone across the country to take to their
       GoodWill....
       Or there was the year two people both gave me the same figurine.
       I thanked both, gave one away and they both think the figurine
       is the one they gave me and as they are from two different
       groups of friends, it is unlikely they will see the item at the
       same time......
       [/quote]
       OMG, I've had that happen too! The second time I got it, it had
       an unfortunate "accident" and became rags.
       As for a book, just smile and thank them. You can donate one of
       the copies.
       #Post#: 62347--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: TootsNYC Date: January 5, 2021, 8:46 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       My grandma gave me a cookbook twice, and then gave a copy to my
       sister as well. So we have 3, between us. It sort of became
       known, but then forgotten, and so that third copy confused the
       two of us for awhile--we kept thinking it was the other
       sister's.
       One year my mom purchased a copy for each kid of the
       soon-to-be-upgraded hymnals from our church, and gave them to us
       as Christmas presents.
       The next year, she gave me another copy. I didn't say anything
       about it being a duplicate; she'd probably forgotten.
       but the third year, she mentioned that maybe she'd give us all a
       copy, so THEN I reminded her that she had already. Twice. Maybe
       I hadn't thanked her vociferously enough, so she didn't
       remember? I don't know. I think it was a low-value present to
       her, it didn't require much pondering or creativity, so she just
       didn't bother retaining the info.
       #Post#: 62368--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: mime Date: January 5, 2021, 12:42 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       A couple years ago I gave my mom a book (on the history of her
       city) that she already had, and she told me so. No big deal. We
       have that kind of relationship. I exchanged it for a different
       book. It was a bit older, but it was also about her city and how
       it was a safe haven for gangsters in the 20s. Her response "I
       love it! In fact, I love it so much I bought it a few years ago!
       And your grandmother knew I'd love it so she bought it for me
       the next year! Do you want a copy?"
       Back to the store... where I pre-purchased an upcoming book
       about her city's history. Finally, a success.
       And then I started following the 3 local authors responsible for
       most of this city's history books, so I can beat her to it next
       time. However, sometime in the last year, she became fb friends
       with one of those authors.
       I just can't win!
       #Post#: 62369--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: Rose Red Date: January 5, 2021, 12:51 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       That's probably the frustrating events of the person who
       invented the gift card ;)
       #Post#: 62372--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: oogyda Date: January 5, 2021, 2:08 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I've been known to give the same birthday card to the same
       person up to 3 times.
       #Post#: 62386--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 5, 2021, 10:05 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=pjeans link=topic=1971.msg62368#msg62368
       date=1609872144]
       A couple years ago I gave my mom a book (on the history of her
       city) that she already had, and she told me so. No big deal. We
       have that kind of relationship. I exchanged it for a different
       book. It was a bit older, but it was also about her city and how
       it was a safe haven for gangsters in the 20s. Her response "I
       love it! In fact, I love it so much I bought it a few years ago!
       And your grandmother knew I'd love it so she bought it for me
       the next year! Do you want a copy?"
       Back to the store... where I pre-purchased an upcoming book
       about her city's history. Finally, a success.
       And then I started following the 3 local authors responsible for
       most of this city's history books, so I can beat her to it next
       time. However, sometime in the last year, she became fb friends
       with one of those authors.
       I just can't win!
       [/quote]
       Time to buy her a history book about a different city!  ;D
       #Post#: 62394--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Gift given twice
       By: Wanaca Date: January 6, 2021, 8:51 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I've bought books and DVDs for myself that I already had.  Oops.
       I just give away the extra copies and chuckle a bit.
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