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#Post#: 62058--------------------------------------------------
Villa etiquette
By: Jane7166 Date: December 28, 2020, 4:06 pm
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We moved into a villa this year and I am wondering if there are
new etiquette rules to be followed when you move to closer
quarters than you are accustomed to.
Our kitchen window and the kitchen window of the villa next to
us are about 25 feet apart. We met the neighbor, she's a widow,
she's very nice but a known recluse. If you see her outside,
she will talk your ear off but that is very, very rare. The
pandemic has made encounters even rarer for neighbors on both
sides.
My question: if I'm in my kitchen and doing stuff at the
kitchen sink and I see her in her kitchen at her kitchen sink,
do I acknowledge her with a wave and a smile or do I pretend
that I don't see her? Kind of a boundaries and privacy
question. I really am not sure what to do.
#Post#: 62061--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: Lilipons Date: December 28, 2020, 4:54 pm
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It would be nice to learn a bit more about what these villas are
and how the community is arranged. I also think that 25 ft.
Between kitchen windows isn’t that close.
However, I don’t think a small wave and a smile would be amiss
if you two notice each other.
#Post#: 62063--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: betty Date: December 28, 2020, 5:28 pm
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I think it's polite to pretend you can't see people inside their
home unless they acknowledge you first.
Similarly, we can hear and sometimes see our neighbors over the
backyard fences. We socialize with our neighbors if we see them
outside in the front yard or alley, but pretend we can't hear or
see each other when we are in our fenced backyards. It's nice to
feel like we have a private space.
#Post#: 62064--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: sandisadie Date: December 28, 2020, 6:01 pm
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I think if my kitchen window was looking directly into another
person's window I'd hang a curtain that was partly see-through
so that it wouldn't be so "in-your-face" if my neighbor was at
the window at the same time that I was at mine.
#Post#: 62070--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 28, 2020, 8:30 pm
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I live in a townhouse and I typically default to pretending that
I don't notice my neighbors going about their daily lives. I
leave early Sunday mornings to do my grocery shopping. My
neighbor is just getting up and drinks her morning coffee then.
How do I know? It's the only time her front blind is open! I
know that she knows that I do my shopping then, because we have
talked about it (and I've picked her up something.) Since it's a
private moment for her (she's likely still in her jammies), I
just pretend I can't see her. If she ever waved, I would return
the greeting. But I figured that when she's in the privacy of
her own home that I should treat it as not seeing her.
#Post#: 62073--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: Aleko Date: December 29, 2020, 4:38 am
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I’ve heard it said (and I have no idea if this is true or a
fantasy) that in feudal Japan, if one nobleman met another
around the imperial palace the obligatory courtesies of bowing,
greeting and exchanging compliments would take an interminable
time. But if the technically-senior nobleman, on seeing the
other coming, simply raised his fan to shield his eyes, this
meant ‘I haven’t seen you and you haven’t seen me. We’re both
free to go about our business.’ Problem solved.
On the same principle, if there’s a reasonable likelihood of
making accidental eye contact I would definitely put something
in front of the window to occlude the view just a little bit.
Not necessarily a net curtain: a houseplant, a dream-catcher or
simply a decal on the window would do it. Just enough that
neither of you feels either that you’re under observation or
that you’re obligated to exchange greetings.
#Post#: 62075--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: shadowfox79 Date: December 29, 2020, 6:06 am
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My MIL's kitchen window directly faces the kitchen window of her
opposite neighbour, and her rule is to simply pretend the glass
is opaque whenever she washes up.
The one exception to the rule was when she looked across and saw
her neighbour wrestling with a burning chip pan and setting fire
to her own curtains. MIL was across the street in two seconds
flat and had a wet towel over the pan and the curtains
underwater in the sink before anyone had time to think.
#Post#: 62078--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 29, 2020, 7:01 am
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[quote author=shadowfox79 link=topic=1963.msg62075#msg62075
date=1609243564]
My MIL's kitchen window directly faces the kitchen window of her
opposite neighbour, and her rule is to simply pretend the glass
is opaque whenever she washes up.
The one exception to the rule was when she looked across and saw
her neighbour wrestling with a burning chip pan and setting fire
to her own curtains. MIL was across the street in two seconds
flat and had a wet towel over the pan and the curtains
underwater in the sink before anyone had time to think.
[/quote]
MIL is awesome! And yes, emergency situations mean that the
pretending goes away.
#Post#: 62084--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: lowspark Date: December 29, 2020, 9:09 am
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Honestly, if I had to acknowledge my neighbor every time I
looked out my kitchen window, I'd find it exhausting. If you see
her at her kitchen window, she has the option to smile and wave
at you, just as much as you do to her. I'm assuming she hasn't
initiated these kinds of greetings. She has lived there longer
so take her cue.
#Post#: 62086--------------------------------------------------
Re: Villa etiquette
By: Hmmm Date: December 29, 2020, 9:13 am
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I agree that it is best to pretend you can't see into each
other's homes. If you are both at your kitchen window for
prolonged period of time, I might acknowledge with a smile but
that would be it.
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