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#Post#: 61540--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: NFPwife Date: December 14, 2020, 9:39 pm
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Personally, I wouldn't be attending based on the behavior of Ron
and his wife. I wouldn't presume to tell someone who they could
or couldn't invite and I also wouldn't say, "I'm not coming
because Ron and wife are doing X, Y, Z" or "I won't be there
because of the Hawaiian travel." It's just a simple, "I'm sorry,
given where rates are covid-wise, we're going to have to decline
and bubble up with only our household." (Honestly, that's what
we've had to do. Since Easter.)
Kate really should apologize for trying to dominate the guest
list and control who's attending.
#Post#: 61572--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: oogyda Date: December 15, 2020, 12:29 pm
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As I was trying to formulate an answer to this, I caught myself
assigning roles and personalities based on my own experience. I
noticed that my response would vary depending on whether I was
thinking of my immediate family or my extended family or the
in-laws. I decided that I just don't know these people well
enough to give any clear or specific advice.
I do feel that, in general, each family unit should do what
feels comfortable and safe without telling another unit what
they may or may not do.
Edited to add: Each family unit absolutely can deny entry into
their home!!!! It's kind of telling others what they may not
do, so I wanted to be clear on that.
#Post#: 61686--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: mime Date: December 17, 2020, 4:13 pm
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I agree that Kate only gets to control what she does, not what
everyone else does, so she can either accept or reject the
conversation.
I have family in a similar situation-- adult daughter and her
family have gone nowhere and done nothing since March. They're
in the most extreme isolation of anyone I know. Adult son and
his family have participated in sports and activities as the
government has allowed. Older parents are somewhere in the
middle. The solution for Christmas gatherings is that Daughter
will visit Parents on the 24th, and Son will visit on the 25th,
so Daughter isn't exposed to Son's family, and everyone is
happy... Maybe that's an option for Kate?
#Post#: 61860--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: nuku Date: December 22, 2020, 12:23 pm
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I don't think Kate needs to apologize, but she should be taking
her family's dynamic into account. I'd just not go, but also try
to convey to older relatives how this could put them at risk.
My family cancelled Christmas this year. We're sending each
other packages (I've been trying to use local businesses for
gifts). We plan to do a Christmas in July party this summer.
#Post#: 61882--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: EtiquetteE Date: December 22, 2020, 8:55 pm
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I think Kate and her family should control what they do and the
same for her brother and his family. Everyone needs to make
their own choices; and then respect others for making different
ones. Trying to control what other people do will be a no-win
situation.
#Post#: 61976--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: SnappyLT Date: December 25, 2020, 10:30 am
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Beagle Mommy,
What did they all end up deciding to do?
#Post#: 62397--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: BeagleMommy Date: January 6, 2021, 9:12 am
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As it turned out, it was all a lot of bluster.
Kate and Ron and their respective spouses and children went to
Aunt and Uncle's house for Christmas Eve dinner. Kate made sure
her son wore a mask throughout the evening and kept him farther
down the dinner table to limit his exposure as much as possible.
The girl who went to Hawaii also wore a mask at Aunt and
Uncle's request.
Kate said it was a lovely dinner and there was no tension. Good
news all around. ;D
#Post#: 62399--------------------------------------------------
Re: Cousin Holiday Drama
By: Hmmm Date: January 6, 2021, 9:39 am
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[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1952.msg62397#msg62397
date=1609945940]
As it turned out, it was all a lot of bluster.
Kate and Ron and their respective spouses and children went to
Aunt and Uncle's house for Christmas Eve dinner. Kate made sure
her son wore a mask throughout the evening and kept him farther
down the dinner table to limit his exposure as much as possible.
The girl who went to Hawaii also wore a mask at Aunt and
Uncle's request.
Kate said it was a lovely dinner and there was no tension. Good
news all around. ;D
[/quote]
Funny how mature adults get when in a conflict with a sibling.
I'm shocked at myself sometimes when arguing with my sisters and
I'm the youngest at 55.
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