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#Post#: 61440--------------------------------------------------
Kids and TY notes
By: vintagegal Date: December 12, 2020, 10:30 am
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I have a relative with 2 kids that I send Xmas and Bday checks
too. I always get a TY email from the mom. I would really like
to suggest or hint that I would love to hear from the kids
themselves. (they are both over 12). I am holding off until I
hear from the BMB hive mind. Should I just bite my tongue? I
don't see them that often, less than once a year.
#Post#: 61441--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: December 12, 2020, 11:27 am
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On Carolyn Hax's community chat yesterday, someone was talking
about the same issue. Her nieces and nephews never respond, and
she was saying that the parents were unlikely to ever teach them
the rudiments of thank you notes.
A later commenter suggested that the OP include a note saying, I
would love to see a photo of you with this gift. It isn't
scolding or preachy, and it is asking for a response that only
takes a second and is a behavior they would be already be
comfortable with anyway. And it would at least acknowledge that
they received the gift, which the gift giver would appreciate.
Just an idea.
#Post#: 61447--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: Lkdrymom Date: December 12, 2020, 2:56 pm
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I always had my kids write thank you notes for any gifts sent by
relatives. No one else did that for the longest time....then I
noticed I started getting them from one of my cousin's kids.
#Post#: 61504--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: Hmmm Date: December 14, 2020, 9:56 am
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I think it is fine to respond back via email with "I'm glad to
hear they enjoyed the gift. I'd love to hear directly from them.
Sometimes I feel like your just being polite saying they
appreciate the gifts I'm sending."
#Post#: 61509--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: vintagegal Date: December 14, 2020, 10:36 am
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I replied and said, I'd love to hear from the kids themselves
about what they plan to use the money for, maybe a photo with
the item? We'll see what happens.
#Post#: 61533--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: silversurfer Date: December 14, 2020, 4:26 pm
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Great approach Vintagegal!
You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you
something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have
their own emails) is a great solution.
Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails,
why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you,
but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was
18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on
social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i
am now closest to in my entire family.
#Post#: 61534--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: TootsNYC Date: December 14, 2020, 4:31 pm
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I think you could say to them, "You know, your mom always writes
me a thank-you note, but I would really like to hear directly
from you. You're getting pretty grownup; maybe it's time you
took that back from her. How about if you send me a text, or
ping me on Facebook."
I was struck by reading once about someone whose kids were
excitedly writing a thank-you note, and their enthusiasm for
those sprang from the fact that Grandma had written THEM a
thank-you note. And it made them realize how cool thank-you
notes are.
I would say that if you don't hear from them or don't want to
speak up, you could get contact info for them, and contact them
yourself from time to time, just to normalize the idea of some
infrequent but natural communication.
#Post#: 61593--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: vintagegal Date: December 15, 2020, 5:43 pm
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[quote author=silversurfer link=topic=1948.msg61533#msg61533
date=1607984792]
Great approach Vintagegal!
You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you
something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have
their own emails) is a great solution.
Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails,
why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you,
but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was
18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on
social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i
am now closest to in my entire family.
[/quote]
If they do have their own emails, I don't know about it.
#Post#: 61594--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: TootsNYC Date: December 15, 2020, 7:29 pm
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you can ask! You can also find them on Facebook, if they're
there, and use Messenger.
#Post#: 61624--------------------------------------------------
Re: Kids and TY notes
By: jpcher Date: December 16, 2020, 1:49 pm
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[quote author=vintagegal link=topic=1948.msg61593#msg61593
date=1608075804]
[quote author=silversurfer link=topic=1948.msg61533#msg61533
date=1607984792]
Great approach Vintagegal!
You're not asking them to put pen to paper and mail you
something, an email from the kids (i would assume they have
their own emails) is a great solution.
Slightly off topic, but if the kids do have their own emails,
why don't you send them a note? Not mentioning the thank you,
but just to say hi. My auntie friended me on facebook when i was
18 or 19, (cough, a while ago now) and through chatting on
social media and sending pictures, she is probably the person i
am now closest to in my entire family.
[/quote]
If they do have their own emails, I don't know about it.
[/quote]
12+ years old? I'm betting they have a cell phone. If not email,
maybe texting?
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