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#Post#: 60573--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: caroled Date: November 21, 2020, 8:32 pm
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Just out of curiosity, what is the time schedule for the day's
festivities? you say she lives an hour away. once there, how
long will it take to prep and then roast a turkey in an electric
roaster? factor in a few hours for the meal and cleanup and
another hours drive home...is 6-8 hours an unreasonable amount
of time?
Also, are you footing the cost of the main, as well as the
transportation of it?
I'm kind of the opinion that if her own son has her car for his
benefit and thus depriving his mom of her own transportation,
then it should be on him/ them to see to it she has conveyance
to your house... you were originally asked for sides, now the
purchase of the mains, packing up and transporting them and
cooking vessel..., well, i'm just frusrtated for you ,you are
definitely getting the short end of the stick.
#Post#: 60576--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: gramma dishes Date: November 21, 2020, 8:52 pm
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Wouldn't it have been faster and less expensive to get the
turkey from someplace closer to the host so she could get it
started cooking while you all were on your way there? Even if
you had to chip in for a cheap roaster for her -- even a double
foil one. This arrangement doesn't seem to make a whole lot of
sense, but maybe I'm just not understanding it. :-\
#Post#: 60577--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: Boeun Date: November 21, 2020, 9:08 pm
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Deleted because I need to mind my business
#Post#: 60578--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: lakey Date: November 21, 2020, 10:26 pm
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[quote]Wouldn't it have been faster and less expensive to get
the turkey from someplace closer to the host so she could get it
started cooking while you all were on your way there? Even if
you had to chip in for a cheap roaster for her -- even a double
foil one. This arrangement doesn't seem to make a whole lot of
sense, but maybe I'm just not understanding it. :-\[/quote]
I've used 2 foil pans because I don't want to store a big
roaster that I only use once a year. Plus it's easy clean up.
They work fine.
#Post#: 60580--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: LurkingGurl Date: November 21, 2020, 11:15 pm
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I think it's time to call BFsamMom and plan things out.
Your plans are not working out because it's a game of telephone.
If you are supplying the turkey then she (and DD#1 and Sam) need
to supply the sides, the drinks and everything else. It's great
that DD#2 wants to bring a dish too.
And just leave it at that.
It's absolutely ridiculous for you to be making most of a T-day
dinner and schlepping it an hour to someone's apartment.
I think by now, I would have offered to rent her a car so she
could drive herself - it would be less inconvenient. Or heck!
Tell BFsam and DD#1 to bring her to your house!
I agree that you need to exercise your spine. Just lay it out.
If she wants to negotiate, fine. But, at this point, you're
just being told what to do! So, take control and lay out how
you want this to happen.
Seems to me that your intermediaries--DD#1 and BFsam--aren't
doing much on their own to bring this dinner to fruition except
to play telephone. Let them drive her out. And back.
Inconvenient for them? So what!
#Post#: 60587--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: vintagegal Date: November 22, 2020, 11:15 am
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I have been to enough dinners where "the turkey isn't quite done
yet" that I would bring a cooked turkey.
#Post#: 60600--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: Hmmm Date: November 22, 2020, 2:15 pm
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I don't know if it was out of line or not because it is hard to
tell how much is her planning versus how much is your daughter
making the plans. It sounds like there are 3 from your nuclear
family attending and 2 from her family attending and that your
DD#1 is heavily involved in making the arrangements. My daughter
wouldn't think twice of volunteering me to pick up the turkey
with the plan for her and her boyfriend to take that morning for
them to cook elsewhere and if I had the space, I wouldn't mind
either. I guess I see the borrowing of the roaster as more of
your DD asking for it then I do Sam's mom.
I love Tday and all the prep but some years the idea of my only
responsibility being to make some mashed potatoes and send a raw
turkey for cooking seems marvelous. Shoot, even cost wise, I'd
be out about only about $36 for an organic 12 lb turkey and
about $3 for potatoes. I just did my Tday grocery run for our
dinner for 7. I already have the turkey and I spent a little
over $80 for the ingredients for the sides, desserts, and
dressing.
#Post#: 60604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: jpcher Date: November 22, 2020, 4:17 pm
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Thanks for your replies. After thinking on this a bit I think
I'm liking Hmmm's response . . . just getting more relaxed about
the situation.
To clarify a few things . . . it was a couple of weeks ago when
DD#1 said that BFsamMom would like to host us for Tgiving. DD#1
asked at that time if Mom could use our roaster. I agreed
(because the roaster is the way to go instead of the oven.)
DD#1, BFsam and his mom will go grocery shopping on Wednesday
morning before DD#1 and BFsam come to my home with Mom's car. I
told DD#1 that since they are going grocery shopping, please
pick up a few potatoes and you'll have time to make the mashed
potatoes while the turkey is cooking. She was fine with this. I
don't know what else BFsamMom is planning on cooking.
[quote author=caroled link=topic=1926.msg60573#msg60573
date=1606012379]
Just out of curiosity, what is the time schedule for the day's
festivities?
[/quote]
DD#1 and BFsam are leaving my house early Tgiving day with the
raw turkey and roaster. DD#2 and I will leave later with the
mashed cauliflower and veggie pizza, planning on arriving at
1-2pm.
I think I'm more comfortable with this than I was before.
#Post#: 60614--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: caroled Date: November 23, 2020, 1:04 am
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That doesn't sound as bad as i initially took you to mean. I was
envisioning you having to take your contributions along with the
roaster and raw bird over on your trip and then spend so much
time waiting...or feeling responsible for the bird and feeling
you should be the one to cook it in advance.
#Post#: 61246--------------------------------------------------
Thanksgiving hosting woes. UPDATE #19
By: jpcher Date: December 9, 2020, 2:57 pm
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UPDATE: I just wanted to update you all on what a wonderful time
we had on Tgiving day. The meal was delicious* and everything
was done on time, the table setting was elegant, BFsamMom was a
very gracious hostess and BFsam and DD#1 did most of the
cooking.
I guess I was just being a Grumpy-B when I started this thread.
After all it's the company and being with family that is most
important.
*DD#1 was very proud of herself because this was the first time
she made a turkey. Even though she put it in the roaster
breast-side down so the legs and wings rested on the side of the
roaster and got a bit (;)) charred but the breast was, I think
the moistest breast I ever had. Maybe putting breast side down
makes the juices from the back flow into it? I don't know, but
it was wonderful.
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