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#Post#: 60491--------------------------------------------------
Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: jpcher Date: November 19, 2020, 2:54 pm
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Our traditional Tgiving family get together has been cancelled
due to COVID.
DD#1 had asked her aunt (my SIL) several times if it was going
to happen or not. SIL assured her that it was so DD#1 and her
BFsam bought plane tickets to come and enjoy the festivities.
After the tickets were bought SIL cancelled saying that it will
only be her, her husband, daughter & hubby and their new baby.
So a new plan was formulated where BFsam's Mom would host
Tgiving dinner for the four of us (DD#1, BFsam, DD#2 and
myself). Fine, that works for me.
I was going to email BFsamMom to ask her what I could bring,
thinking an appetizer or two, maybe a side dish or whatever.
Plans are that BFsamMom will pick them up at the airport on
Tuesday, they will spend the night there then borrow BFsamMom's
car and come here Wednesday afternoon, go to DD#2's salon for
hair cuts and xmas decorating. Wednesday night we'll go out to
dinner or I'll cook (depending on if our favorite restaurant is
open or not.)
Tgiving morning DD#1 and BFsam were going back to his moms house
(she lives an hour or so away) and DD#2 and I were going to
leave later for apps and dinner.
Last night DD#2 told me that she told them that she would bring
her mashed cauliflower dish (yum!) THEN she told me that we were
asked to bring mashed potatoes (okay, but 2 mashed dishes?) AND
she informed me that we were supposed to buy the turkey because
BFsamMom doesn't have room in her refrigerator to defrost it.
::) She lives alone in an apartment.
Plus BFsamMom asked to borrow my roaster to cook the turkey
(which I knew about and agreed to a couple of weeks ago).
So now that DD#2 and I are supplying the majority of the meal (I
don't know what else BFsamMom is planning on, there's only 5 of
us) I said we should have dinner here and BFsamMom could just
come over and we're set.
I talked to DD#1 last night and asked what's up? She reminded me
that BFsamMom couldn't come out here because they will have her
car.
DD#2 ordered a turkey from on-line, it was delivered today and
is sitting in a cooler on my screened-in patio (no animals will
get to it ;)) I told DD#1 that she (they) should make the mashed
potatoes since DD#2 is making her mashed cauliflower dish and
I'll bring a veggie pizza.
I dunno -- is asking someone to buy the turkey (main dish) when
you are hosting a meal a bit off? Granted, she will be cooking
it in my roaster at her place, but still . . . DD#2 told me that
I needed to grow a spine. ::)
Thoughts?
#Post#: 60492--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: chigger Date: November 19, 2020, 3:29 pm
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Yeah, she is WAY out of line! I would just cook the turkey, and
bring it as my contribution, and tell her that! She can make the
sides. I'm assuming she has room for that!
#Post#: 60495--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: Rose Red Date: November 19, 2020, 3:57 pm
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It would bother me but there's nothing to be done now. However,
I would just bring the defrosted turkey and let her cook. No
prepping, salting, or anything. Just a raw turkey so at least
she's contributing *something* in terms of food.
And then after Thanksgiving, I think you need to have a long
talk with your DD1 about volunteering your money and services
without asking you first.
Or was it Sam's mom who said you're to buy the turkey? I was a
bit confused.
#Post#: 60505--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: HenrysMom Date: November 19, 2020, 9:24 pm
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Personally, no one uses my turkey roaster but me (that was my
view when I owned one). So, if I were you, which I’m not, I’d
go ahead and cook the turkey and be done with it. If she wants
to reheat it, she can use her own pan.
#Post#: 60509--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: Rho Date: November 19, 2020, 9:49 pm
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"
I dunno -- is asking someone to buy the turkey (main dish) when
you are hosting a meal a bit off?"
The bit off is calling herself the host. She is providing
tables, seats, dishes, power to cook the tukey, labour to clean
up. YOU are co host by providing the turkey.
#Post#: 60520--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: BeagleMommy Date: November 20, 2020, 7:27 am
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Personally, I think since you and your DDs are bringing the side
dishes and the roasting pan she should provide the turkey.
#Post#: 60523--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: iolaus Date: November 20, 2020, 8:00 am
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out of interest who formulated this new plan?
If it was her then shes out of line - however I wonder if this
plan was more BFSam (possibly including your daughter) and
he/they volunteered you for the turkey
#Post#: 60563--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: jpcher Date: November 21, 2020, 2:11 pm
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[quote author=iolaus link=topic=1926.msg60523#msg60523
date=1605880804]
out of interest who formulated this new plan?
If it was her then shes out of line - however I wonder if this
plan was more BFSam (possibly including your daughter) and
he/they volunteered you for the turkey
[/quote]
I honestly do not know who formulated the plan. Probably the
three of them then voluntold DD#2 what was going to happen.
#Post#: 60564--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: chigger Date: November 21, 2020, 2:35 pm
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I just thought of something! Is BfSam's mom also DD2's exes mom?
If I was voluntold to bring the turkey and the roaster, I'd just
bring it already cooked, which is what she's probably hoping
for. Hugs to you, because something that should have been easy
and simple just keeps getting to be more and more for you. I
really don't know why she is "hosting" if she doesn't have room
for a turkey, yet wants one. So, she's the asshole,lol!
#Post#: 60571--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving hosting woes
By: jpcher Date: November 21, 2020, 7:37 pm
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[quote author=chigger link=topic=1926.msg60564#msg60564
date=1605990946]
I just thought of something! Is BfSam's mom also DD2's exes mom?
If I was voluntold to bring the turkey and the roaster, I'd just
bring it already cooked, which is what she's probably hoping
for. Hugs to you, because something that should have been easy
and simple just keeps getting to be more and more for you. I
really don't know why she is "hosting" if she doesn't have room
for a turkey, yet wants one. So, she's the asshole,lol!
[/quote]
Bold above . . . Nooooo! I understand where the confusion my
come into play because DD#1 used to date DD#2's exes younger
brother. There have been stories about the long term family
relationship with the exes. If it were BFbobMom that tried to
pull this off? Oh.No.Way.In.Hell. would I have agreed to this.
BFsamMom is a nice lady. She has been a guest at my home when
we've had family get-togethers maybe 6 times. She's always
brought an appetizer or salad or something to contribute to the
meal. (Last time, during COVID we ordered out for pizza, etc.
and it was just the 4 of us.) For the last two Tgivings she
attended the traditional family meal at my SIL's home, and
brought something as well. I've been to her home only once.
I think that's what stunned me the most. Thinking about a
reciprocal offering.
As it is DD#1 and BFsam need to get up awful early on Tgiving
day with the turkey and roaster in order to drive out to mom's
apartment because DD#2 ordered a 10-13 lb turkey and if that
wasn't available, the next size up.
It's a 20 lb turkey. I hope it defrosts on time and it's going
to take a while to roast.
I'm not going to roast it beforehand . . . just hoping for a lot
of leftovers! ;D
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