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#Post#: 60301--------------------------------------------------
Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Venus193 Date: November 16, 2020, 7:15 pm
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The Potluck Queen is having a small (10 peeps or fewer) potluck
on Black Friday. She asked everyone to bring sides and post
what they will bring; she will buy two turkey breasts and a ham.
I RSVP'd yesterday, saying I will bring turkey gravies, my
cranberry sauces, and a box of Russell Stover.
She messaged me to ask if I could make sweet potatoes with
marshmallows. I answered I couldn't because I have never made
that and that was because I didn't like sweet potatoes (My
mother didn't either, so that was never made or served in our
house). She answered that she didn't like cranberries. I
replied that there had to be another guest who liked that sweet
potato casserole and would be a better chef for it and that
there had to be other guests who like cranberries. She posted a
request on the FB page for a volunteer to provide it.
In the words of Reddit, which of us was the A-Hole here? Is a
guest obliged to bring a PL contribution that the organizer
likes or was she rude to ask for something else?
#Post#: 60305--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Boeun Date: November 16, 2020, 7:41 pm
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I don't think Potluck Queen was rude to ask you to make sweet
potatoes, it seemed she took the refusal well. I also think you
were well within your right to say no.
I do think she was rude to mention she doesn't like cranberry
sauce. She doesn't have to eat it and isn't that the point of a
potluck? So there's a variety of food?
#Post#: 60306--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: NFPwife Date: November 16, 2020, 7:45 pm
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To use Reddit terminology - NAH.
You brought up not liking something first, so her reply that she
didn't like cranberry salad, when taken in context of the
conversation isn't that bad. You could have said, "Sorry, no,"
without JADEing. The JADEing led to the not liking cranberry
sauce and extended the interaction.
#Post#: 60309--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Venus193 Date: November 16, 2020, 8:04 pm
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Just in case this makes any difference, she doesn't cook. She
can grill a steak or a fillet, but doesn't make anything that
requires more effort than that. My past contributions to her
parties have included salads, Jello desserts, chili, coq
chasseur, Italian meatballs, and cold sesame noodles (the only
failure). Our two lists of favored foods have some items in
common but not all.
#Post#: 60315--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: kckgirl Date: November 17, 2020, 6:47 am
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I love sweet potatoes, but wouldn't make them with marshmallows.
In my family, we make them with the streusel topping, and the
one time I tried making them with marshmallows it was a major
fail, most likely due to inexperience.
Now, if five people said they were bringing cranberries, I could
see a reason for her to ask you to bring something different.
But even if she doesn't like them, she knows that cranberries
are a staple on a majority of family Thanksgiving menus. I'd
actually be surprised if someone didn't bring them.
#Post#: 60317--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Venus193 Date: November 17, 2020, 7:43 am
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I don't bring cans of cranberry sauces; I make them because the
canned ones are too sweet (as in 33g of sugar per serving).
When Brunnhilde was alive I developed the recipes with Splenda
and other fruit. I wish fresh cran would be available all
year.
#Post#: 60325--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Hmmm Date: November 17, 2020, 9:21 am
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You were fine saying you didn't want to make it. I think as the
organizer, it was fine for her to request once but when you said
no, she should have dropped it.
It is nice of her hos the get together but since it is a
potluck, she can't control what everyone chooses to bring. I
hope someone chooses to bring it for her.
If not, offer her up this recipe that is I learned when helping
with an organization that was making meals for families
displaced by Harvey here in Houston. The measurements are burned
into my mind because I probably mixed up a 100 of these
casseroles.
Not my preferred style but tons of people loved it and it is
definately full proof.
Drain then coarsely mash up 1 29oz of candied yams and put in a
casserole that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle
with an 1/4 cup brown sugar and a 1/4 tsp of cinnamon. Cut up a
1/2 stick of butter and dot around. Top with miniature
marshmallows. Bake at 400 for about 25 min till the the
marshmallows are browned to your liking.
#Post#: 60327--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: Dazi Date: November 17, 2020, 9:27 am
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Yeah, NTA here, though I do agree you should not have JADEd your
refusal.
Personally, I love sweet potatoes, but putting marshmallows on
them is akin to sacrilege IMHO.
#Post#: 60331--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 17, 2020, 10:03 am
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I don't do Reddit, but if A-Hole means the same as it means to
me... neither. It's a potluck, so she should accept that she's
going to get what she's going to get, so I do find a bit strange
that she would make such a request. If you made the dish
previously or if there was some background that you are
considered a wonderful and adventuresome cook, then it might not
be a strange request. But as strange as I find it, I don't know
that it's rude. You are close enough that you made the 10 person
invitation list, so there must be some level of closeness. And
as others have pointed out, she took the refusal in good taste.
I don't find your refusal rude; in fact, I find it quite
understandable. Even if there was a history that you make this
dish, I think you could still decline making it for no reason at
all.
I'm a terrible cook. Pot lucks give me anxiety. So, I only bring
things that I have tested (when I can bring something that takes
no cooking skills, then you better believe I'm all over that.)
If the host insisted that I bring a specific dish that I had no
experience with (and to be clear, it doesn't sound like she
insisted in this case), I would be declining the invitation. Or
I would just bring a bag of marshmallows!!! ;D
#Post#: 60332--------------------------------------------------
Re: Thanksgiving Potluck #2: At a friend's house
By: TootsNYC Date: November 17, 2020, 10:46 am
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[quote] if there was some background that you are considered a
wonderful and adventuresome cook, then it might not be a strange
request. [/quote]
This is kind of an ordinary and stereotypical dish (in fact, it
gets a bit of scorn among foodies for being so predictable and
basic), so I think that Venus needn't have a rep as an
adventuresome cook; her reputation as a competent cook is enough
for someone to think she would be able to make it, and to
enquire if she's willing.
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