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#Post#: 61713--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: kckgirl Date: December 18, 2020, 12:38 pm
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[quote author=Boeun link=topic=1909.msg61712#msg61712
date=1608315573]
When my husband lived with his parents they asked him to tell
them if he wasn't coming home so they knew to put the security
alarm on before they went to bed.
Also every Sunday they had a big family dinner with his
grandparents, they asked to be told if he wouldn't be there for
dinner so they knew not to set him a place.
[/quote]
I think those are common courtesy. I had to explain to my son
(who was still in high school but a legal adult) that I prepared
meals every day and needed to know if he would be there to eat
them, especially since he was a big strapping teenager who ate
more than his sister and I combined. That had never occurred to
him.
#Post#: 61729--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: STiG Date: December 18, 2020, 8:13 pm
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[quote author=Boeun link=topic=1909.msg61712#msg61712
date=1608315573]
When my husband lived with his parents they asked him to tell
them if he wasn't coming home so they knew to put the security
alarm on before they went to bed.
Also every Sunday they had a big family dinner with his
grandparents, they asked to be told if he wouldn't be there for
dinner so they knew not to set him a place.
[/quote]
Both reasonable requests of any adults living together, whether
related or not, IMO.
#Post#: 61752--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 19, 2020, 6:55 pm
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[quote author=AliciaLynette link=topic=1909.msg61698#msg61698
date=1608275849]
[quote author=SioCat link=topic=1909.msg61693#msg61693
date=1608254409]
I’m a little late here, but I have to disagree with most. Adult
kids living with their parents are more like roommates. And
while I think it’s nice to let your roommates know if you’re not
coming home or if you’re coming home late, it shouldn’t be
required. If a roommate required it of me, I’d consider them
unreasonable and I’d be looking for a nice place to live.
[/quote]
You wouldn't want your room mates to start looking for you if
you're more than say 3 hours or so later home than you should
be, or don't show for a few days, or your car seems to have
disappeared?
It's basic safety, really - if they know roughly that you get
home from work around 6pm every day, but on fridays you go to a
friend's and don't get in till after midnight, then if Gods
forbid something should happen to you and you get into a car
crash or worse, they will know to start contacting your
friends/emergency services.
When I lived with my mum for a while, before I met OH, the
standard rule was: no need to give details just a rough
timescale of where you're going (work/shopping/friends/etc) and
what time you're expecting to walk back in the door. And that
did go both ways, because yes it's more like a room mate
situation that parent/child dynamics.
[/quote]
Right. And when I hear a noise late at night, I do not want to
panic. I want to know that my roommate was planning to come home
late so that is likely them.
I don't want all the details from my roommate. I didn't want all
the details from my parents. And I wouldn't want all the details
from my children. It's fine to be vague, but give those you are
living with an idea of your comings and goings.
#Post#: 61780--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: SioCat Date: December 20, 2020, 5:49 pm
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[quote author=Judecat link=topic=1909.msg61708#msg61708
date=1608312717]
[quote author=SioCat link=topic=1909.msg61693#msg61693
date=1608254409]
I’m a little late here, but I have to disagree with most. Adult
kids living with their parents are more like roommates. And
while I think it’s nice to let your roommates know if you’re not
coming home or if you’re coming home late, it shouldn’t be
required. If a roommate required it of me, I’d consider them
unreasonable and I’d be looking for a nice place to live.
[/quote]
So, your roommates are expected to just leave the light on and
the security system in case you want to come home whenever?
Yeah, you would be looking for a new place, because you
wouldn't be living with any of the people I've home shared with.
We only share with reasonable adults -- not over-entitled
overaged teenagers.
[/quote]
No? They can do all the normal stuff before bed. I know how to
unlock the door and turn the lights back on if I need them. When
my son lived with me, he had no problem doing the same. I don’t
think it makes someone an “over entitled overaged teenager”.
#Post#: 61981--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: TootsNYC Date: December 25, 2020, 12:27 pm
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I think there are people who turn their outside lights off when
they all go to bed, and it's safer for those coming home late at
night to have the lights on.
(motion detectors work well)
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