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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 59643--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: kckgirl Date: November 1, 2020, 12:31 pm
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=1909.msg59630#msg59630
date=1604242403]Our only bone of contention was unloading the
dishwasher. That was normally settled by a few hands of poker.
[/quote]
HTML https://emoji.tapatalk-cdn.com/emoji23.png
That's one way to
settle it. I thought it took a long time to unload the
dishwasher until I timed it and was surprised that it took less
than five minutes to remove everything and put it away.
#Post#: 59651--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: oogyda Date: November 1, 2020, 1:45 pm
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[quote author=kckgirl link=topic=1909.msg59643#msg59643
date=1604255478]
[quote author=oogyda link=topic=1909.msg59630#msg59630
date=1604242403]Our only bone of contention was unloading the
dishwasher. That was normally settled by a few hands of poker.
[/quote]
HTML https://emoji.tapatalk-cdn.com/emoji23.png
That's one way to
settle it. I thought it took a long time to unload the
dishwasher until I timed it and was surprised that it took less
than five minutes to remove everything and put it away.
[/quote]
Lol.
Wow! I did the same thing with the same result of less than 5
minutes. Somehow, that has made it easier to do.
#Post#: 59658--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: STiG Date: November 1, 2020, 7:01 pm
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My cleaner doesn't do fridges or ovens, which I'm fine with.
But she told me that when one of her kids needed a punishment,
she'd make them clean out the fridge or clean the oven! ;D
#Post#: 59663--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: Nikko-chan Date: November 1, 2020, 11:06 pm
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I agree. It is merely a courtesy thing. Every time I left the
house I let my mom know I'd arrived at my destination and was
safe. Even today, though I live on my own, if i go out to the
store i message my aunt and let her know and i message her to
let her know I've arrived home, as a courtesy so she knows I
wasnt injured during my walk. When (back in the days
pre-pandemic) I hung out with friends, and they headed home, I
asked them to text or call as soon as they arrived home. They
text that their home and it lets me know they havent run off the
road and are in a ditch somewhere.
#Post#: 59671--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: NewHomeowner Date: November 2, 2020, 7:07 am
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.
#Post#: 59952--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: BeagleMommy Date: November 9, 2020, 2:25 pm
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BeagleBoy lives at home because he doesn't earn enough to live
on his own plus he's saving to buy a food truck.
The rule is that he tells me if he's going to be late or if he's
spending the night with his buddies by phone or text. He works
the late shift so doesn't get off work until 11 pm. If he's
spending the night with friends I won't wait up.
He keeps his room clean, cooks, does dishes, and helps me with
the laundry.
#Post#: 61617--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: jazzgirl205 Date: December 16, 2020, 12:48 pm
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Because of COVID, my daughter, her baby, Hubby, and I are living
in the same house. Hubby and I own the house free and clear.
DD works at a pharmacy and is finishing her senior year of
college for a degree in biochemistry while we take care of the
baby. DD pays for the utilities and most of the groceries (dh
and I will buy things that only we eat and sometimes we'll pick
up something when we run out). We do most of the housework and
childcare but she sometimes does laundry or cooks dinner. She
goes out on dates occasionally but she knows she cannot stay
overnight. We would be worried sick and the baby would really
miss her Mama.
#Post#: 61622--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: Andi_3k Date: December 16, 2020, 1:46 pm
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I am almost 60, moved in to take care of mom when she had
pneumonia and the. Found my landlord let BIS kid remove all the
locks to my apartment while I was away so she could use it as
she pleased- I moved out that day.
I tell mom when I am leaving, where I will be and with whom.
It’s not only courteous but it’s also safer if something should
happen to her or me. As for chores- I do the big stuff, outdoor
stuff or deal with flooding in the basement or the like, take
out garbage and dishes BUT I can do most of that on MY schedule
not hers, which I think is important-for any adult. Granted the
flooding has to be taken care of when it happens but that
usually an emergency
#Post#: 61632--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: lowspark Date: December 16, 2020, 2:56 pm
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I agree that all adult members of a household need to give each
other the courtesy of letting them know when they expect to be
home. I do know a few adults whose adult kids are living with
them and they have mentioned letting their kids know their
intentions, so it's definitely a two-way street.
As far as helping around the house or paying rent, I don't think
there's a one-size fits all answer. I'd want everyone whose
residence impacts the household to help with mitigating that
impact. So if they are eating groceries, they need to contribute
to that in both paying and shopping. If they are using the
bathroom/kitchen/whatever room, they need to contribute to the
care of those rooms. OR an agreement needs to be made about
reciprocal chores. Maybe I don't go shopping for food but I cook
x times a week, for example. Maybe I don't cook but I do kitchen
clean up. It's just a matter of coming up with a mutually
agreeable arrangement.
Rent -- well, it sort of depends. If they can afford it and are
living there for some other convenience, they probably ought to
contribute. If they are struggling financially, maybe not.
Again, though, it needs to be a mutual agreement. And mutual
doesn't mean (adult) kid says "I don't want to" and parent gives
in.
#Post#: 61640--------------------------------------------------
Re: Adult children living at home
By: Andi_3k Date: December 16, 2020, 7:09 pm
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[quote author=lowspark link=topic=1909.msg61632#msg61632
date=1608152174]
As far as helping around the house or paying rent, I don't think
there's a one-size fits all answer. I'd want everyone whose
residence impacts the household to help with mitigating that
impact. So if they are eating groceries, they need to contribute
to that in both paying and shopping. If they are using the
bathroom/kitchen/whatever room, they need to contribute to the
care of those rooms. OR an agreement needs to be made about
reciprocal chores. Maybe I don't go shopping for food but I cook
x times a week, for example. Maybe I don't cook but I do kitchen
clean up. It's just a matter of coming up with a mutually
agreeable arrangement.
Rent -- well, it sort of depends. If they can afford it and are
living there for some other convenience, they probably ought to
contribute. If they are struggling financially, maybe not.
Again, though, it needs to be a mutual agreement. And mutual
doesn't mean (adult) kid says "I don't want to" and parent gives
in.
[/quote]. Depends- there are things I will not under any
circumstances do - and some things I will. Mom is probably the
most exacting person I have known when it comes to placement of
objects ion her shelve, I know officially diagnosed OCD patients
with more tolerance for things not being done exactly as she
wants. After a lifetime of “do it again til it’s right “ I am
not putting myself through that again. I also don’t babysit her
friends kids/grandkids when they come over. I don’t think I need
to be slave labor ever again- I’ve have enough of that, too.
She’s got one couple who won’t come over any more because “ we
told your daughter to watch Bradley and she told us it’s not her
responsibility- she needs to learn her place” No, no and most
emphatically no- I had enough holidays, days off and vacations
ruined as a younger adult to even be subjected to that again- my
stance is I don’t have kids, I didn’t bring or invite kids, I
don’t take care of kids. The youngest child in my circle of
friends is 15 and doesn’t need a babysitter- mom tried arguing
once and I asked why the responsibility is more on me than the
parents and she’s never given me a reason- there is none
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