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#Post#: 58972--------------------------------------------------
Need some advice
By: TheJules2020 Date: October 14, 2020, 11:31 pm
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Hey all, this is my first time posting on the new forum, I was a
regular on the old one, as JulesCanada.
Anyhow, I need some impartial advice. My sister in law is a
wonderful lady, I love her dearly, but she has very bad odour. I
don’t know what causes it, both my sister in laws have the same
problem. When I was coming back from vacation last summer, they
picked me up at the airport and I nearly hurled the whole ride
home, and the smell stuck to me so bad, I had to jump in the
shower as soon as I got home.
My dilemma is that the more ripe of the two invited me to an out
of town concert in May of next year (that is if it doesn’t get
canceled due to Covid), and we would have to get a hotel room. I
would love to go, but after the malodorous ride from the
airport, I kind of sketchy about going. How do I tell her
without really getting into details? I don’t even think that
they realize that they smell offensive.
#Post#: 58999--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: gramma dishes Date: October 15, 2020, 9:53 am
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You have two sisters-in-law and both have the same problem?
That seems unusual. Do they both really have really bad body
odor or is there some fragrance that both wear that for some
reason you find particularly offensive?
#Post#: 59001--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: Hmmm Date: October 15, 2020, 10:06 am
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[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=1896.msg58999#msg58999
date=1602773635]
You have two sisters-in-law and both have the same problem?
That seems unusual. Do they both really have really bad body
odor or is there some fragrance that both wear that for some
reason you find particularly offensive?
[/quote]
I had similar questions. Do they live together? Do you think it
is poor hygiene, or possibly something they eat or a medical
issue? Is this something recent or has it always been an issue
and getting worse?
Unless you think you can bring up the issue tactfully, I think
it would be best to either come up with an excuse of why you'd
need your own room. You could say you are having issues with
sleeping. But you'll still have the issue of staying in the car
with her for the ride.
#Post#: 59027--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: Rose Red Date: October 15, 2020, 12:49 pm
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I'm wondering the same thing. Is it BO or something else?
Medicinal cream? Food odors that cling? Perfume (musk makes me
gag)?
I think knowing the source may help us give better advice.
#Post#: 59030--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: NFPwife Date: October 15, 2020, 1:08 pm
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1896.msg59027#msg59027
date=1602784178]
I'm wondering the same thing. Is it BO or something else?
Medicinal cream? Food odors that cling? Perfume (musk makes me
gag)?
I think knowing the source may help us give better advice.
[/quote]
Agree, if it's something medical you can point them to seeking
consultation/ treatment.
I think it's a kindness to mention it if you're close to the
person. I'll acknowledge that it's really uncomfortable and hard
to do. It's a vicious cycle no one wants to say anything but
people start avoiding the person, as the person gets isolated
the odor can worsen. I remember telling a kid in 6th grade that
she had horrible foot odor. Everyone was talking about it and no
one would be around her; she cornered me and asked me what was
going on. I just said it. I don't think I softened it with "You
might not have noticed" either. I just blurted it out. (I really
liked her and couldn't lie to her and I felt so on the spot.)
That actually cemented our friendship all through middle school.
Apparently her family had noticed it and they weren't saying
anything! She asked for foot powder or something to help with it
and they were all, "Thank goodness you figured it out!" I
remember thinking, "What good is having a family if they aren't
going to tell you or help you with this?!" I saw her mother at
Sam's Club and, almost 40 years later, it was the first thing I
thought.
#Post#: 59034--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: Codewoman1125 Date: October 15, 2020, 1:31 pm
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It could be a diet issue. I recently upped the percent of
protein that's in my diet and discovered (because I'm wearing a
mask at work all day) that it gave me bad breath. I knew that
was a recent change, so I Googled it. They call it Keto breath.
Thank goodness, it wears off when your body adjusts and extra
water helps. Also, gum!
They might not notice because they're on the same diet or eat
the same thing, so they smell the same.
#Post#: 59134--------------------------------------------------
Re: Need some advice
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 18, 2020, 12:25 pm
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Stupid question. Have you noted the odor other than this one car
ride?
Yes, I do think describing the odor would be helpful. I would
address it depending on what you believe the cause might be.
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