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#Post#: 58955--------------------------------------------------
Received Rowing Machine
By: Spuck Date: October 14, 2020, 6:43 pm
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So this is a bit complicated, and a bit of an emotional issue
for me as well as an etiquette issue. I just received a rowing
machine from by brother and sister-in-law for my birthday, and
it's not something I want and I don't think I can use it. My
health background is that I m obese, I generally hover around
300 pounds, and I have rheumatoid arthritis with osteorarthritis
always causing some damage in my body. I have asked my doctors
before about exercise I should do, and when I asked about a
rowing machine they said that is something I should not use.
My mom has wanted me to try and use my brother and sister in
law's rowing machine, a wooden one that they haven't used in
years. I told her that if I wanted to get her an exercise
machine I would rather have gotten a treadmill anyway. Well I
guess she asked them enough that they decided to get my a rowing
machine.
I really don't want this, and I'm not sure how to respond it it.
The machine was at least 300 dollars also so I don't know where
to start.
#Post#: 58956--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: kckgirl Date: October 14, 2020, 6:49 pm
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I think you very kindly thank them for the gift, and tell them
that, unfortunately, your doctor has said you shouldn't use one.
Then ask them if they want to return it.
#Post#: 58958--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: Rain Date: October 14, 2020, 7:27 pm
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[quote author=kckgirl link=topic=1894.msg58956#msg58956
date=1602719342]
I think you very kindly thank them for the gift, and tell them
that, unfortunately, your doctor has said you shouldn't use one.
Then ask them if they want to return it.
[/quote]
Excellent advice
#Post#: 58977--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 15, 2020, 5:07 am
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Is there any chance your brother and SIL could exchange it for a
treadmill (or another piece of exercise equipment that you're
able to use)?
You certainly shouldn't use the rowing machine if your doctor
has warned you against it!
#Post#: 58979--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: Spuck Date: October 15, 2020, 7:08 am
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They might be able to exchange it. Its all going to be an
awkward exchange for me because at the very least I am going to
have to say mom doesn't listen to me without bringing up all the
other stuff that is really just unnecessary information I wanted
to get off my chest somewhere.
#Post#: 58981--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: kckgirl Date: October 15, 2020, 7:27 am
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[quote author=Spuck link=topic=1894.msg58979#msg58979
date=1602763727]
They might be able to exchange it. Its all going to be an
awkward exchange for me because at the very least I am going to
have to say mom doesn't listen to me without bringing up all the
other stuff that is really just unnecessary information I wanted
to get off my chest somewhere.
[/quote]
There's no need to bring up anything about mom. Just say your
doctor says you shouldn't use it. If they bring up "Mom said"
you can say Mom is mistaken. Don't say she doesn't listen or
anything else about her. Just the facts, ma'am.
#Post#: 58982--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: Hmmm Date: October 15, 2020, 8:11 am
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[quote author=Rain link=topic=1894.msg58958#msg58958
date=1602721658]
[quote author=kckgirl link=topic=1894.msg58956#msg58956
date=1602719342]
I think you very kindly thank them for the gift, and tell them
that, unfortunately, your doctor has said you shouldn't use one.
Then ask them if they want to return it.
[/quote]
Excellent advice
[/quote]
I agree with this. They may not have known your doctor had said
it was not a good idea.
Have this conversation with your brother. Keep your mom out of
the conversation. She should not be asking them to buy you
things.
#Post#: 58983--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: Jem Date: October 15, 2020, 8:17 am
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[quote author=Spuck link=topic=1894.msg58955#msg58955
date=1602718991]
I have asked my doctors before about exercise I should do, and
when I asked about a rowing machine they said that is something
I should not use.
[/quote]
Did your doctors say why you should not use a rowing machine? It
seems like a rowing machine would have far less impact on joints
than a treadmill, and possibly even less than an elliptical?
What about a stationary bike, maybe a recumbant bike with arms?
#Post#: 58985--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: BeagleMommy Date: October 15, 2020, 8:25 am
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Be honest with your brother and SIL.
Tell them your doctor told you not to use a rowing machine then
ask if they want to return it. If they want to exchange it for
something you can use tell them exactly what you would rather
have.
Leave Mom out of the discussion. If they bring her up just say
she misunderstood.
#Post#: 58992--------------------------------------------------
Re: Received Rowing Machine
By: Aleko Date: October 15, 2020, 9:24 am
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I also don't see why it would be necessary to talk about your
other not listening. Just tell your DB and SIL the truth: that
your doctors have told you that rowing machines are not
advisable for your specific case. You needn't tell them the
whole truth, which is that you knew this and had explained it to
your mother beforehand, but she ignored you. If you leave that
part out, that allows them to hope that their kind and generous
gift was a lovely surprise to you, which alas was spoiled when
you mentioned it to your doctors and they told you that you
mustn't use it.
I agree with LoP that it would be good if you can name some
other piece of exercise equipment which you could use, and for
which it might feasibly be exchanged. This will let them feel
that their choice of gift was in the right ballpark at least.
And if your mother, hearing about this, says crossly to them
'Those doctors don't know what they're talking about! That's
what I told Spuck months ago, when she said she couldn't use
one, but she insisted they knew best!', then they'll get the
picture without your having to say anything.
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