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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 58667--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Rose Red Date: October 8, 2020, 12:04 pm
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[quote author=Wanaca link=topic=1887.msg58666#msg58666
date=1602174765]
I always thought the rule against wearing black was based on the
superstition that it would bring the HC bad luck. I don't know
why I thought that.
[/quote]
Laura Ingalls Wilder got married in a black dress because it was
newly made. He mother told her "marry in black, you'll wish
yourself back," but admitted there probably isn't any truth to
old superstitions.
#Post#: 58671--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Aleko Date: October 8, 2020, 1:36 pm
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[quote]I always thought the rule against wearing black was based
on the superstition that it would bring the HC bad luck. I
don't know why I thought that.[/quote]
It has always been considered unlucky to meet a funeral when
going to or coming from your wedding. So for a guest to go to a
wedding dressed as though they were going to a funeral is a way
of hexing the marriage. A hostile act.
#Post#: 58680--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: jpcher Date: October 8, 2020, 3:13 pm
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I wore black at my own wedding to LDH.
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1887.msg58622#msg58622
date=1602127503]
I've worn the famous little black dress to weddings, but you can
tell it's a party dress and I also wear my burgundy lace jacket
over it. Also sparkly colorful jewelry. I wouldn't wear all
black.
[/quote]
I'm midwest, age 60, and never really paid attention to
etiquette of dress to a wedding. All I knew was that it must be
fancy.
I think a little black dress is perfectly appropriate for
evening receptions.
Last year I attended my Niece's wedding and almost everybody
wore black . . . OK, it was on Halloween and themed
appropriately for the date. ;D
#Post#: 58698--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Gellchom Date: October 8, 2020, 11:47 pm
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We go (or went, prior to the pandemic!) to lots of weddings (in
the Midwest, central Ohio, prior to our move here) and for
formal evening events, black is not only seen, it's by far the
most popular color. For weddings where the bridesmaids wear the
same color, black is the most common choice for them, too. Come
to think of it, I wore black, with magenta accents, to my own
daughter's wedding.
The idea is just not to look like you are in mourning or the bad
fairy casting a hex on the marriage. A dressy black evening
outfit doesn't look like either. For a daytime wedding, it can
be trickier, but as long as you don't look like you are dressed
for a funeral (like a black suit as opposed to a cute black
sundress), it's fine. The same is true about red, which people
sometimes ask about -- nothing wrong with wearing an outfit that
happens to be red, you're just not supposed to wear anything
that looks like you are out picking up sailors!
I'm not superstitious anyway, but the thing about black at a
wedding being bad luck doesn't even make sense to me. Men wear
black to weddings -- all of them, in fact, if it's black or
white tie. I think it's about inappropriate mood.
#Post#: 58709--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Winterlight Date: October 9, 2020, 7:35 am
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I personally have never worn black to a wedding, but I think it
depends on how it's worn and when. Sparkly black or the little
black dress that's clearly a party dress is one thing. However,
I attended a wedding where the MOG wore solid funeral black and
had a matching facial expression. You will not be surprised to
hear that the HC had very little contact with her after that.
#Post#: 58714--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: shadowfox79 Date: October 9, 2020, 9:20 am
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[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1887.msg58698#msg58698
date=1602218837]
The same is true about red, which people sometimes ask about --
nothing wrong with wearing an outfit that happens to be red,
you're just not supposed to wear anything that looks like you
are out picking up sailors!
[/quote]
There was a Dear Prudence letter on Slate at one point where the
writer ranted about the dress her MIL-to-be was planning to wear
at her wedding, and the terrible crime turned out to be that it
was robin's egg blue.
No, that wasn't the colour the bridesmaids were wearing either.
It was just a dress in robin's egg blue.
I can remember thinking that I could have understood if the
dress was fire-engine red with a slit up the crotch to reveal
matching underwear, but a blue dress hardly warranted all this
kerfuffle.
#Post#: 58738--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Hmmm Date: October 9, 2020, 12:43 pm
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I was born in the 60's and black was not to be worn to weddings.
But by the 90's you were starting to see it. In '94, I was a
bridesmaid where the bride selected black velveteen dresses for
us. In the 2000s, I attended many weddings were guests and MOB
or MOG were in black.
Now at evening weddings, I'd say at least a third of the women
are dressed in black.
#Post#: 58751--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: gramma dishes Date: October 9, 2020, 4:26 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1887.msg58738#msg58738
date=1602265402]
I was born in the 60's and black was not to be worn to weddings.
But by the 90's you were starting to see it. In '94, I was a
bridesmaid where the bride selected black velveteen dresses for
us. In the 2000s, I attended many weddings were guests and MOB
or MOG were in black.
Now at evening weddings, I'd say at least a third of the women
are dressed in black.
[/quote]
Back when I first began attending weddings, they were often in
the early afternoon and the receptions were likely to be
immediately after in the church social room. People dressed the
way they would normally dress to attend church.
As I got older and older, weddings that we attended got more and
more formal and were far more likely to be held in the evening.
Then is when I noticed people starting to get really dressed
"fancy" and we saw a lot more black.
#Post#: 58800--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Lilipons Date: October 11, 2020, 9:57 am
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[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1887.msg58622#msg58622
date=1602127503]
I've worn the famous little black dress to weddings, but you can
tell it's a party dress and I also wear my burgundy lace jacket
over it. Also sparkly colorful jewelry. I wouldn't wear all
black.
[/quote]
that’s pretty much the standard here in Brooklyn. A little
black dress with a colorful accent has been in fashion for about
20 years. It’s often thought that black sets the bride off to
good advantage.
Black is fine. You just don’t want to look like a classic
Mediterranean widow.
#Post#: 58807--------------------------------------------------
Re: wearing black
By: Gellchom Date: October 11, 2020, 3:29 pm
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[quote author=shadowfox79 link=topic=1887.msg58714#msg58714
date=1602253252]
[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1887.msg58698#msg58698
date=1602218837]
The same is true about red, which people sometimes ask about --
nothing wrong with wearing an outfit that happens to be red,
you're just not supposed to wear anything that looks like you
are out picking up sailors!
[/quote]
There was a Dear Prudence letter on Slate at one point where the
writer ranted about the dress her MIL-to-be was planning to wear
at her wedding, and the terrible crime turned out to be that it
was robin's egg blue.
No, that wasn't the colour the bridesmaids were wearing either.
It was just a dress in robin's egg blue.
I can remember thinking that I could have understood if the
dress was fire-engine red with a slit up the crotch to reveal
matching underwear, but a blue dress hardly warranted all this
kerfuffle.
[/quote]
I found it.
HTML https://slate.com/human-interest/2008/04/advice-on-manners-and-morals-april-17-2008.html
And, horrors, it was a youthful style. On a wizened dinosaur of
51. The bride also complained that blue wouldn’t harmonize with
the champagne and sage of the wedding party and the MOB’s pink
dress. Pink was okay, though?
Loved Prudie’s answer.
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