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#Post#: 58633--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 8, 2020, 5:29 am
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[quote author=Maude link=topic=1885.msg58629#msg58629
date=1602145658]
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training
their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards
dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for
dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu
eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues
because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I
wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "
Parents need to lead their children, not follow.
[/quote]
I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the
child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like
chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have
some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the
shots.
#Post#: 58639--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Soop Date: October 8, 2020, 7:20 am
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My story is a bit opposite(?) to picky. I was staying at a
friend's house whilst my parents were away. Nearing dinner time,
friend's mom asked if I would like Liver or Steak. I said Liver
to her surprise. She told my parents when they returned and my
dad has told the story for the last 40 years.
I still love liver (and kidneys and sweetbreads), but also now
love steak. Back then, my older sister didn't like steak, so I
followed her lead. It was one of the few things we could reject.
My mom would make us a bunless burger instead. But really
looking back, I also didn't like steak because every piece of
meat in the house was cooked to death. That was okay-ish for
roast beef, because you could slather it with gravy, but there
was no sauce for steak. I now eat my steak rare.
#Post#: 58646--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: BeagleMommy Date: October 8, 2020, 8:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=1885.msg58633#msg58633
date=1602152964]
[quote author=Maude link=topic=1885.msg58629#msg58629
date=1602145658]
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training
their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards
dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for
dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu
eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues
because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I
wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "
Parents need to lead their children, not follow.
[/quote]
I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the
child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like
chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have
some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the
shots.
BeagleDaddy and I both worked full-time while BeagleBoy was
small. We did not have time to make more than one entrée for
dinner when we got home. If we were having chicken, BB ate
chicken. Our rule was "try three bites". After three bites if
he didn't like something he didn't have to eat it. We always
encouraged him to try anything food he wanted. We ended up with
a child who would eat anything that didn't try to eat him first.
Parents shouldn't behave like short-order cooks. I think may
be one of the reasons he went into the culinary world. However,
to this day he can't eat eggs. He just doesn't like them in any
form.
[/quote]
#Post#: 58657--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Luci Date: October 8, 2020, 10:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I used to host family dinners for about 35-40 people twice a
year. One was the turkey dinner and the other a grilled picnic
luncheon. A niece always asked for a peanut butter sandwich and
my SIL let her get away with it, so I just went along with it.
My saying, "No" wouldn’t have done any good and just stir things
up. Years later, she apologized to me about that and thanked me
for complying.
Our son was about six and and I told him if didn’t eat 10 peas
he couldn’t leave the table. He sat at the table until bedtime.
He is now a very opinionated and stubborn 50 year old. I know
that is not the way to get a child to eat now according to
experts.
#Post#: 58660--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: vintagegal Date: October 8, 2020, 11:22 am
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[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=1885.msg58633#msg58633
date=1602152964]
[quote author=Maude link=topic=1885.msg58629#msg58629
date=1602145658]
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training
their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards
dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for
dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu
eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues
because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I
wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "
Parents need to lead their children, not follow.
[/quote]
I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to offer the
child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you like
chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they have
some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the
shots.
[/quote]
Growing up we were given two choices - take it or leave it.
Strangely, I have distinct memories of sitting at the table to
finish something long after others had left, but I can't
remember what the food was. I wasn't a picky eater, the only
things I can remember not liking were egg salad, cream of wheat,
and rice pudding. And lima beans.
#Post#: 58661--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Dazi Date: October 8, 2020, 11:26 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Luci link=topic=1885.msg58657#msg58657
date=1602172706]
I used to host family dinners for about 35-40 people twice a
year. One was the turkey dinner and the other a grilled picnic
luncheon. A niece always asked for a peanut butter sandwich and
my SIL let her get away with it, so I just went along with it.
My saying, "No" wouldn’t have done any good and just stir things
up. Years later, she apologized to me about that and thanked me
for complying.
Our son was about six and and I told him if didn’t eat 10 peas
he couldn’t leave the table. He sat at the table until bedtime.
He is now a very opinionated and stubborn 50 year old. I know
that is not the way to get a child to eat now according to
experts.
[/quote]
I loathed peas as a child. It actually turned out that I'm
allergic to them.
#Post#: 58672--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Aleko Date: October 8, 2020, 1:51 pm
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[quote]I am not a parent, but I've heard a good tactic is to
offer the child a choice of two or three items. Eg "Would you
like chicken, or pasta tonight?" That way, the child feels they
have some say in the matter, without necessarily calling all the
shots.[/quote]
That only works at all if you have an only child. If you have
more than one, it's a dead cert that they will all want
different things and you will have created yourself a world of
pain, because whatever you finally cook will cause bitter
resentment.
In any case, why deliberately give children the idea that they
have, or ought to have, any say in the matter? If home meals,
like school meals, are just a thing that happens, they will
accept that as a given. (Getting them to eat it, if they don't
like it, is another matter.) And it makes the rare occasions,
like birthdays, when Mum says 'You can choose what you want for
lunch', that's a huge treat.
My mother did her best to cook something all her three children
was reasonably happy to eat, but if any of us did say 'I don't
like this', her simple and consistent response was, 'Fine; don't
eat it then. I dare say one of the others will want it.' And
that would be it. We knew we weren't going to be offered
anything else instead, and the siblings would joyfully snarf our
lunch up themselves, so nothing went to waste.
#Post#: 58675--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: BlueWave Date: October 8, 2020, 2:26 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Maude link=topic=1885.msg58629#msg58629
date=1602145658]
I've noticed in recent years that parents are almost training
their children to be picky eaters. When it's getting on towards
dinner time, the parent asks the child "What do you want for
dinner? " . The child states his /her choice as if from a menu
eg Macdonalds!!! When the answer is NO then a tantrum ensues
because , from the child's point of view, "You asked me what I
wanted, I told you, and now you say no! "
Parents need to lead their children, not follow.
[/quote]
Sure, this may be true in some circumstances but I don't agree
with the generalizations. My twins have severe reflux and will
vomit uncontrollably if their stomachs get too empty. So telling
them to eat what they given or get nothing doesn't work in our
house. They get to pick their own meals and snacks but they have
always been adventurous and healthy eaters and the meals/snacks
they pick are almost always healthy and balanced. They know that
they can't demand candy or junk food and get away with it. But
they eat enough meals of quinoa, veggies, and fruit that if they
ask for the occasional pizza delivery, we rarely say no.
#Post#: 58685--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Titanica Date: October 8, 2020, 4:23 pm
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[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1885.msg58562#msg58562
date=1602078219]
My father's boss had my family to their home for dinner one
evening. Boss's wife made a beef roast. They were originally
from New England and, according to them, ate beef the way all
New Englanders do...rare.
I have never been able to stomach rare beef. Even beef cooked
to medium makes me nauseous. I have to eat it medium well.
I asked to have the two end pieces of the roast because I knew
they would be more cooked.
[/quote]
As a lifelong New Englander, I can promise you that that's not
true. I despise rare meat.
#Post#: 58689--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O - Remembering old threads - picky eaters
By: Gellchom Date: October 8, 2020, 5:15 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
When I was growing up, my parents had only one rule about trying
foods. We didn't have to try anything, not even one taste, if
we didn't want to (not that we would be given something else
special, we just had to make do with the other things on the
table). There was only one exception: if you said "Yuck!" or
anything else disparaging about something that was being served,
you had to eat a whole, good sized portion of it. No appeal,
either, because it was your own fault -- you wouldn't have even
have had to have one bite if you'd been polite.
My big brother broke the rule (blueberry pie) and got that
consequence exactly once. I witnessed it, so I never did.
My husband and I had the Yuck Rule with our kids, too, and I
don't think either of them ever broke it, and they are glad they
learned the rule about not disparaging what others are eating
(not to mention insulting the cook/host). Neither is or was a
picky eater. When we last discussed this, some posters said
that they felt it was wrong to force the child to eat the
portion of the food they'd yucked, and some to not insisting on
trying a bite, but neither seemed to lead to any eating
disorders or pickiness in our family. My brother still won't
eat blueberry pie, but he doesn't like blueberries anyway, so I
don't think it's that he is still traumatized more than 50 years
later.
Children love to cheer, "Yuck to [chocolate cake, e.g.]!" to
their favorite foods to "have to" eat it. They all think they
came up with it on their own.
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