DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 58451--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: TootsNYC Date: October 4, 2020, 8:02 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think I wouldn't find it as weird to have someone say, "your
friend dropped this"; there's something about "friend" that
doesn't force an intimacy into the arena.
And then there are the women, or young women, who have people
coming up to them to make remarks about their having had a baby
as a teenager, when it's their little brother, or they're just a
young-looking mom.
#Post#: 58452--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: Hmmm Date: October 4, 2020, 8:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1882.msg58447#msg58447
date=1601856730]
But it's not always a situation in which you would ask. Like,
"Excuse me, but your sister dropped this" or a clerk asking
someone who had accompanied someone who is in the dressing room
"Does your sister like green?" It would be odd to begin by
asking about their relationship.
[/quote]
I agree that in some cases it can be awkward to ask.
I've been trying to come up with a graceful way to deal with
this exact issue without causing embarrassment for anyone. My
sister who is just 3 years older than me had a stroked about 5
years ago and has partial paralysis. Though she is not yet 60,
people see me pushing her in a wheelchair and make an assumption
she is my mom. She also at times has a hard time understanding
what people say so will ask me to repeat what was said so
frequently they will end up addressing questions to me instead
of her.
If it is someone I think we'll see frequently, like at the hair
or nail salon, I will try to make a point of saying that we are
here for an appointment for my sister. But often, the person I
say this too is not the person who we eventually end up with and
they will often say something like "can you help your mom into
this chair". If I think my sister heard, I try to joke with
something like "Oh goodness I must be dressed way to young today
for you to think I'm her daughter. No, this is my sister." If I
don't think she's heard, I usually just say something like "Yes,
I'll help my sister there." Sometimes they get it and sometimes
they are preoccupied with getting the station set up.
The other day we were at a reflexology place and the therapist
spoke very little english. The entire time she kept referred to
my sister as "mom" a couple of times. I tried to clarify but I
could tell she didn't understand the word sister.
I'd love to have some responses that doesn't cause the asker to
be embarrassed.
#Post#: 58460--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: AnnNottingham Date: October 5, 2020, 4:05 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I was once in a Home Depot with my brother, helping him pick out
a countertop for his (and his wife's) bathroom. My brother
introduced himself to the young clerk assisting us, who then
addressed me as "Mrs. Brother's Last Name". He was so
embarrassed when we clarified, but Brother and I had a good
laugh. We looked nothing alike, and many a couple shop at Home
Depot for their homes.
I made this mistake myself when three women came through my line
at the store. They could have been sisters of only a couple
years apart. I asked if they were, and it turned out to be
grandmother-daughter-and granddaughter ::). They laughed.
Another day, I mistook my then-boss's mother for his wife; she
was flattered. But I decided to stop with any speculation for
fear of mistaking a married couple for father-daughter or
mother-son :P.
#Post#: 58473--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: vintagegal Date: October 5, 2020, 12:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
DH was 16 years older than me. I looked pretty young, last time
I was carded I was 40. People used to assume I was his daughter,
we both found it funny.
#Post#: 58474--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: BeagleMommy Date: October 5, 2020, 12:42 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I am 55 and my mother is 76. However, mom was blessed with
"good genes" and doesn't look like a stereotypical 70something.
Her hair is still its original dark brown color albeit with a
few streaks of silver and she has very few wrinkles. Hopefully,
I have the same "good genes". She and I definitely look like we
are related and people often assume we are sisters.
We just laugh it off.
#Post#: 58478--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: nuku Date: October 5, 2020, 1:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I agree. My hair & skin shade are very different from my mom's.
When we would go shopping with her best friend & her kids,
people made incorrect assumptions about how everyone was
related. No one thought I was my mom's kid. The worst is when
people try to argue. I used to work with someone who had a
somewhat similar hair color to mine & was about the same height.
Otherwise we bore no resemblance to each other. People
constantly asked if we were sisters. Then argued about it with
us & said we looked "so much alike." 🙄
Her brother did work there. He was a head taller than her with a
different hair color. They acted like brother & sister, but
nobody ever asked if they were.
#Post#: 58480--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 5, 2020, 1:35 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I have two friends who are both about six years younger than me
that I enjoy outings with. A young man asked if I was the
mother. I laughed it off, but it was a real kick to my ego. I
worried that I looked frumpy compared to these two and I felt
like I had that confirmed. :'(
#Post#: 58481--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: Codewoman1125 Date: October 5, 2020, 1:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
So many stories here:
I went to Cub Scout camp with my son and was assumed to be the
wife of every dad I talked to by everyone who approached us
while we were talking. I was not the only woman there. Also,
there were many families where both parents were there. So I
would be talking to a woman and her husband, and someone would
walk up and talk to me as if I were the wife - with her standing
right there!
I traveled with my two sons and another couple and their three
children to Mexico. Throughout the trip, the relationships were
misunderstood. Most flagrantly at Xel-Há Park (an all inclusive
day resort). When we left at the end of the day, there was a
display of photos taken throughout the day and you had to walk
through the display to get out of the park. One of the
photographers was there waving and shouting "One man, two
ladies, over here!" to draw our attention to our photographs. We
still laugh about it. In fact, we all purchased photos there and
coincidentally chose to have the same one framed (same frame)
and display it in our homes!
My sister was a teenager when I was born and has been mistaken
for my mother many many times. There were times in my teens and
twenties, however, when people didn't know which of us was
older!
My mother was regularly mistaken for my grandmother.
Riding a commuter train once with my three year old, he looked
at a woman and said (in his three year old voice) "That woman
has a baby in her tummy!" I said in a whisper, "No she doesn't".
To which he responded, "Yes, she does!" and pointed broadly and
unmistakably at her. I grabbed his hand and pulled it down
saying in that not-quite-a-whisper-grimace voice "No. She.
Doesn't. We'll talk about it later." She was wearing slacks,
with a belt. Sigh.
My son and I worked at a grocery store as a cashier for a while.
At one point, while we both had a customer, he turned to me and
asked me a question, starting with "Mom, ..." My guest got a
real kick out of that. She called me "Mom" from then on every
time she came in. It was kind of our inside joke.
#Post#: 58482--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: BeagleMommy Date: October 5, 2020, 1:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=nuku link=topic=1882.msg58478#msg58478
date=1601922080]
I agree. My hair & skin shade are very different from my mom's.
When we would go shopping with her best friend & her kids,
people made incorrect assumptions about how everyone was
related. No one thought I was my mom's kid. The worst is when
people try to argue. I used to work with someone who had a
somewhat similar hair color to mine & was about the same height.
Otherwise we bore no resemblance to each other. People
constantly asked if we were sisters. Then argued about it with
us & said we looked "so much alike." 🙄
Her brother did work there. He was a head taller than her with a
different hair color. They acted like brother & sister, but
nobody ever asked if they were.
[/quote]
My mother looked like none of her siblings. Uncle #1 was 6'1"
with brown hair and brown eyes and looked of Western European
heritage, Uncle #2 was 5'9" with blond hair and blue eyes and
Eastern European looks, Mom was 5'6" with brown hair and brown
eyes and Eastern European features, Aunt #1 was 5'3" with blonde
hair and brown eyes with Western European features, and Aunt #2
was 4'11" with brown hair and brown eyes and Asian features.
My grandpa used to say "This one is the milkman's, this one is
the plumber's..."
#Post#: 58483--------------------------------------------------
Re: You and Your Mother
By: betty Date: October 5, 2020, 1:56 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, a few years ago my only-slightly-younger sister and I were
hiking. Someone coming the other way commented, "How nice to see
a mother and daughter out on the trail!"
I was annoyed enough to remember it for the past few years.
*****************************************************
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page