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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 57918--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Hmmm Date: September 24, 2020, 8:03 am
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[quote author=SioCat link=topic=1867.msg57900#msg57900
date=1600919299]
Thanks, everyone! I moved back to my home state this summer,
with my partner. We will be getting married next month. All of
my friends and coworkers from the last 13 years are back in VA
and wouldn’t be able to make it. I was just hoping there was a
way to let them all know. Thanks for the advice anyway!
[/quote]
Is there a reason why you want it to go out before the ceremony
versus after? I'm sure they will be just as thrilled for you if
they learn of the wedding a week or too after as they would the
day of.
If the idea of knowing they are thinking of you on your special
day is important, reach out personally to a friend or co-worker
to share the news and they can pass along to others. Then follow
up with the traditional announcement.
#Post#: 57923--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Jem Date: September 24, 2020, 8:48 am
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[quote author=SioCat link=topic=1867.msg57900#msg57900
date=1600919299]
Thanks, everyone! I moved back to my home state this summer,
with my partner. We will be getting married next month. All of
my friends and coworkers from the last 13 years are back in VA
and wouldn’t be able to make it. I was just hoping there was a
way to let them all know. Thanks for the advice anyway!
[/quote]
Best wishes for your upcoming marriage! I agree with Gellchom's
approach for how to get the word out.
#Post#: 57937--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: TootsNYC Date: September 24, 2020, 11:15 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1867.msg57918#msg57918
date=1600952638]
[quote author=SioCat link=topic=1867.msg57900#msg57900
date=1600919299]
Thanks, everyone! I moved back to my home state this summer,
with my partner. We will be getting married next month. All of
my friends and coworkers from the last 13 years are back in VA
and wouldn’t be able to make it. I was just hoping there was a
way to let them all know. Thanks for the advice anyway!
[/quote]
Is there a reason why you want it to go out before the ceremony
versus after? I'm sure they will be just as thrilled for you if
they learn of the wedding a week or too after as they would the
day of.
If the idea of knowing they are thinking of you on your special
day is important, reach out personally to a friend or co-worker
to share the news and they can pass along to others. Then follow
up with the traditional announcement.
[/quote]
Would you invite them, if they COULD come? Consider sending an
invitation anyway.
Though, COVID....
If there were no COVID, I would say invite them anyway--so THEY
can decide whether the trip is too much.
If your numbers are small because of the pandemic, then maybe
consider inviting them to a Facebook Live event; those are easy
to set up.
I'm trying to think how I'd react if a friend of mine who'd
moved away sent me a mass-mailing with wording like this:
"SioCat and Mr.SioCat are getting married on X day at X time in
X place. Due to the times, the size of the gathering must be
limited, but they hope you will think of them on that day."
I think I'd be OK with that. I mean, you're my friend, right?
And I'd know that you had thought about inviting me, and
probably would have, except for the health risk. And I'd
definitely like being told ahead of time.
True, a mass mailing might feel a little impersonal, but
wedding invitations and announcements are printed as well. You
can remove a lot of that impersonality by writing a sentence or
two at the bottom specific to them. That's informal, but what
the hell!
Don't include registry information. If they want that info,
they'll ask.
Do include any Facebook Live or other info.
I'm sitting here debating about including website info; if you
plan to put some pictures up later, I think you could add a line
that says, "Pictures will be posted at SioCatAndMr.com shortly
after the event."
#Post#: 57950--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Luci Date: September 24, 2020, 1:06 pm
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We had a tiny wedding in 1966 because hate to be the center of
attention and the distance traveled was prohibitive for most of
our huge families. I hand wrote the invitations. My mom sent out
announcements about a week after the wedding. They looked like a
formal invitation, but only one person was confused. Mom just
edited the invitation format to be an announcement. The printer
was happy to oblige.
So I agree with Toots.
#Post#: 57952--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Luci Date: September 24, 2020, 1:13 pm
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[quote author=Luci link=topic=1867.msg57950#msg57950
date=1600970801]
We had a tiny wedding in 1966 because hate to be the center of
attention and the distance traveled was prohibitive for most of
our huge families. I hand wrote the invitations. My mom sent out
announcements about a week after the wedding. They looked like a
formal invitation, but only one person was confused. Mom just
edited the invitation format to be an announcement. The printer
was happy to oblige.
So I agree with Toots.
[/quote]
I forgot to say we received quite a few gifts.
#Post#: 57990--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Hmmm Date: September 24, 2020, 7:57 pm
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I've thought about it more, and even with Covid, I'd send the
announcement after the event.
I've received wedding announcements in the past. The one's I
remember were:
-DH's cousin who had a beach wedding in Hawaii with only their 3
kids and living parents
-HS friend who had a small wedding at her grandparent's home
(maybe 30 guests)
-Old Co-worker who eloped while on a vacation with boyfriend in
Las Vegas
-A co-worker who had been living with her boyfriend for 10 years
and they up and decided to go have a JP wedding at the
courthouse with just the two of them.
-A really good friend who, with her fiance, planned a family
cruise vacation with the plan to get married while on the
cruise. I was probably one of 10 people who knew of the plan
In each case, I would have loved to know the event was
happening, but in none of them did I feel a bit of let down that
I learned of it later. I was thrilled in each case. I loved
getting the wedding announcements. For a few of them, the
announcement included a photo from the wedding.
I just can't come up with a good reason to send the announcement
before the ceremony.
#Post#: 57992--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Gellchom Date: September 24, 2020, 8:29 pm
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You're right -- announcements are sent only after the wedding,
not before.
I think we might see a revival of formal announcements during
the pandemic. To me, they are perfect for all the examples
Hmmmm gave.
I would be more leery of sending them if I were having anything
larger than a very tiny wedding -- 20 people, including the
bride and groom, maximum. Then it might start to feel a bit
"you-didn't-make-the-cut" and perhaps even "but you should send
us a gift anyway" to some people -- look how the OP in the "When
a Zoom invite is a B List invite" string felt about an
invitation to attend via Zoom upon learning that there were
going to be some guests in physical attendance. No one would
feel that way about a tiny, "private" wedding of, say, immediate
family and grandparents and a perhaps just a couple of close
friends.
I have gotten a sort of "announcement" like that after the
wedding of a cousin who cancelled her wedding (to which we had
been invited; they hope to have a big first anniversary party
and invite everyone) and got married in her in-laws' back yard,
complete with wedding gown and flowers. No other guests -- not
even her own parents or their siblings, who would have had to
fly -- or attendants, just the four of them and the officiant.
It wasn't a formal announcement, just by email with a photo or
two.
I loved getting it. Had there been 50 people there, though, the
effect might have been different. I'm not saying that anyone
shouldn't cut a 150 person wedding to 50 rather than 4, just
that in that case I'd be more careful about sending
announcements to those who were, understandably, cut.
#Post#: 58051--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: oogyda Date: September 25, 2020, 3:07 pm
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I think one good reason to wait until after the fact is so it
won't be confused with an invitation. Let's face it.....people
don't read. I remember some discussion on Ehell about
graduation announcements often being confused with an invitation
to the ceremony. When there are limits to the number of people
each person can have in attendance, it creates awkward moments.
However, in this case, I think SioCat could word it so her
friends would know they just wanted to share their excitement of
the day. It wouldn't have to be as formal as Toots' first
example.
#Post#: 58058--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: Lilipons Date: September 25, 2020, 4:38 pm
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I recall Wedding announcements being sent who were unlikely to
attend. Like a birth announcement, they were sent after the
fact.
Also, like a Thank You note for a wedding gift in the 1980s,
they were accompanied by a wallet-sized photo of the HC.
#Post#: 58062--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding announcement.
By: SioCat Date: September 25, 2020, 6:06 pm
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Thanks again, everyone! I wasn’t pressed to send them before the
wedding, I just thought it would be nice. And now thinking about
it, I think I would like to do a live stream. My sister was
looking at invitations and the topic came up. I wouldn’t have
put registry information, as I am not registering anywhere. They
also don’t know my new address, so they couldn’t send me a gift
if they wanted. I really just thought they would want to know
and might want a piece of it.
Thanks for the advice!
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