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#Post#: 57120--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: September 9, 2020, 10:06 am
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--- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
>
> I just noticed at the bottom of your post that you can't
leave.
> Do you wear a mask while she is there? If you wear a mask, try
chewing some peppermint gum. That would hold the smell of
peppermint near your nose. It could help. Another option would
be to use some vapo-rub under your nose, under the mask.
> I can't see how you can say something about her smell without
sounding bad. It's not as though she's dirty or unkempt. The
product use is part of a grooming routine.
>
--- End Quote ---
That's a really good idea. You might also buy an air purifier
and put it in the room where she spends most of her time. I
think to deal with fragrance or odors, you need to buy one with
a carbon filter. A co-worker had one in her office a few years
back.
#Post#: 57126--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: STiG
Date: September 9, 2020, 12:19 pm
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I'll try the mask next time. I can try the gum but the vapour
rub is a no go - it would trigger me.
I may still ask about a hair covering. While it likely won't
completely mitigate the issue, it may help a bit with the
lingering scent.
And I discovered why I got this weird migraine. I managed to
forget to take my medication two days in a row. ::) I've taken
it today and by the time tomorrow's dose goes in, I should be
feeling better again.
#Post#: 57130--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: lakey
Date: September 9, 2020, 12:43 pm
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I've heard of putting a small amount of toothpaste under your
nose to mitigate scent. Would be similar to gum, but perhaps a
bit more effective because it is right under your nostrils.
#Post#: 57131--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: Dazi
Date: September 9, 2020, 1:27 pm
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--- Quote from: STiG link ---
>
> I'll try the mask next time. I can try the gum but the vapour
rub is a no go - it would trigger me.
>
> I may still ask about a hair covering. While it likely won't
completely mitigate the issue, it may help a bit with the
lingering scent.
>
> And I discovered why I got this weird migraine. I managed to
forget to take my medication two days in a row. ::) I've taken
it today and by the time tomorrow's dose goes in, I should be
feeling better again.
>
--- End Quote ---
Ugh, I hate when that happens. One of the reasons I switched to
one of the monthly injections. Way more effective and I don't
have to worry if I'm off by a few days.
#Post#: 57136--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: Jem
Date: September 9, 2020, 2:21 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
>
>
> I can't see how you can say something about her smell without
sounding bad. It's not as though she's dirty or unkempt. The
product use is part of a grooming routine.
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree. I think you can certainly mention it to her, but I
don't think you can expect her to not be offended.
#Post#: 57137--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: oogyda
Date: September 9, 2020, 2:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
>
> I just noticed at the bottom of your post that you can't
leave.
> Do you wear a mask while she is there? If you wear a mask, try
chewing some peppermint gum. That would hold the smell of
peppermint near your nose. It could help. Another option would
be to use some vapo-rub under your nose, under the mask.
> I can't see how you can say something about her smell without
sounding bad. It's not as though she's dirty or unkempt. The
product use is part of a grooming routine.
>
--- End Quote ---
That's why OP would make it clear that it's the smell of the
PRODUCT.
There's a huge difference between "Your hair smells bad." and
"The gel you use on your hair triggers my sensitivities."
#Post#: 57140--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: September 9, 2020, 3:24 pm
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You like this woman and her work enough that you are willing to
come up with solution rather than simply nix her. I would open
with that. "Dad and I love the work that you are doing so it
pains me to have to mention this. However, you will recall our
conversation about my scent sensitivity. Well, I think it may be
one of the hair products that you use. Can we brain storm some
ideas that may help me? Dad and I don't want to lose you!" Then
I would tell her that you're going to try a mask and the air
purifier and <insert all the awesome ideas that you get here>.
Then you can even suggest a few things that you think might help
from her end, however she may have a few of her own or even be
able to not use the product on the day that she visits you. And
acknowledge that any efforts that she is willing to do is HUGE.
I think I would want to be approached in this sort of manner.
#Post#: 57170--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: Aleko
Date: September 10, 2020, 2:13 am
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In OP’s place I wouldn’t even use the words
‘scent’ or ‘smell’. It’s very hard
not to feel deep-down, viscerally offended on being told that
there’s something wrong with the way one smells, however
unreasonable one knows that reaction to be. I would say
something along the lines of ‘one of the chemicals in the
gel on your hair trips my migraine reaction’. I think
calling it a problem about ‘a chemical’ rather than
‘a smell’ would come across better.
Edited to add: it's also more accurate. What you can smell is
the perfume the manufacturer added to the product; but what
you're actually breathing in is a whole cocktail of chemicals,
many of which may have little or no smell. You can't actually
know that it's the perfume that's causing the trouble.
#Post#: 57176--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: sms
Date: September 10, 2020, 7:41 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> You like this woman and her work enough that you are willing
to come up with solution rather than simply nix her. I would
open with that. "Dad and I love the work that you are doing so
it pains me to have to mention this. However, you will recall
our conversation about my scent sensitivity. Well, I think it
may be one of the hair products that you use. Can we brain storm
some ideas that may help me? Dad and I don't want to lose you!"
Then I would tell her that you're going to try a mask and the
air purifier and <insert all the awesome ideas that you get
here>. Then you can even suggest a few things that you think
might help from her end, however she may have a few of her own
or even be able to not use the product on the day that she
visits you. And acknowledge that any efforts that she is willing
to do is HUGE. I think I would want to be approached in this
sort of manner.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think this is the nicest way to go about it.
#Post#: 57207--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: September 10, 2020, 1:18 pm
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I've been reading a series of hair-care stories on Glamour.com,
and I've discovered that women with the hair-care and
hair-styling issues you describe actually don't wash their hair
that often; that they treat it and then end up having to leave
it alone for a few days. To wash it more often is very damaging
to it.
So using a different product for just that day might not be
something she can do.
But I do like your text.
And i think you could reach out to the agency for help
communicating this as well, because that would be a great way to
tell them how good she is at her job, and if you end up having
to switch her for someone else, she won't be hurt by it,
financially or in terms of her reputation at work.
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