DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 57084--------------------------------------------------
How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: STiG Date: September 8, 2020, 7:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Without coming across as a total jackass. :P
We have a number of different health care workers coming into
our home to help care for my Dad. We don't pay for this
service; it is part of our health care system. They are all
great people who really care about their work, though I like
some more than others.
One particular worker, who only comes once a week, carries quite
a strong scent when she comes in. Due to my scent sensitivity
issues, I did talk to her the first time she came and she
doesn't use perfume or scented deodorant so she thought it was
maybe from her previous client who likes having baby powder
used. She has continued to carry this scent with her but I
haven't said anything again. I have smelled this particular
scent before but couldn't put my finger on it.
Tonight, I had an a-typical migraine. All the ancillary
symptoms without the actual headache - extreme scent
sensitivity, light sensitivity, nausea. And, of course, her
scent was stronger to me than usual. I had to go lie down after
she left and get my husband to finish up dinner and dish up for
my dad and himself.
As I was laying down, I realized what the source of the scent
likely is. It's hair product. The worker, and other people who
I have noticed with the same/similar scent are all women with a
particular type of hair that is very curly, very dry and
generally needs a lot of work to be manageable in a socially
acceptable style (Really hope that continues to change, frankly.
I think it is ridiculous that some women are encouraged, even
expected, to do these damaging things to their hair.)
So that was really long background to ask... How do I approach
this with her? I can't really absent myself when she is here or
avoid the areas of the house where she has been (as the scent
will linger for quite a while).
#Post#: 57085--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Dazi Date: September 8, 2020, 7:31 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I used to do home health. In this instance, my advice would be
to contact the agency and request this person not come back to
your home. If they ask why, you can simply tell them that this
person uses some kind of scented product you are extremely
allergic to and it's not right to tell her she can't use it, but
at the same time, you can't be around it.
There were a few clients I had to fire for similar reasons.
Whatever was in their home made me extremely ill...it affected
another co-worker as well, so it wasn't just me that had the
issue.
#Post#: 57086--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: STiG Date: September 8, 2020, 7:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I considered that. But the thing is, I really like her
otherwise and Dad really likes her. I have no idea whether or
not there is an alternate product she can use that doesn't smell
as strong. Plus, right now, the agency is so short staffed that
if I ask that she not come back, we'll be without a visit at all
on this particular day. Whenever she is on holidays, they are
putting out an all call to everyone region wide, not just the
people who work in our direct area, to fill in.
#Post#: 57087--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: oogyda Date: September 8, 2020, 8:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=STiG link=topic=1845.msg57086#msg57086
date=1599612631]
I considered that. But the thing is, I really like her
otherwise and Dad really likes her. I have no idea whether or
not there is an alternate product she can use that doesn't smell
as strong. Plus, right now, the agency is so short staffed that
if I ask that she not come back, we'll be without a visit at all
on this particular day. Whenever she is on holidays, they are
putting out an all call to everyone region wide, not just the
people who work in our direct area, to fill in.
[/quote]
If she wore some sort of hair covering, do you think it would
help. My first thought was a shower cap sort of thing. I know
they make something like that for health care.
#Post#: 57088--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Isisnin Date: September 8, 2020, 8:33 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Since you already approached her, you've laid the ground work to
approach her again. Just say something like:
"You know how we tried to figured what scent was triggering my
sensitivities? Well, I figured it out. It's the hair product you
use. The migraines I get from it can be brutal. When you are
coming here, could you use a product that isn't so strongly
scented?" and or mention a hair cap or wrap as Oogyda suggested.
#Post#: 57089--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: STiG Date: September 8, 2020, 8:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I was wondering about a hair covering of some sort. To be
clear, her scent didn't trigger the migraine but it did
exacerbate it.
'Remember when you first came and I mentioned that you carried
some sort of scent? You thought it might be the powder you used
with another client but I'm still detecting the same scent. I
think it might be your hair products. My scent issues are
getting worse so I was wondering if you'd be willing to try
wearing some sort of cover over your hair when you are here to
see if it helps.'
Does that sound OK?
We communicate mostly by text so I can send it to her well ahead
of her next visit so she can figure something out.
#Post#: 57101--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Kimberami Date: September 9, 2020, 5:52 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Is there anyway that you could leave during her visit? Even if
you just sit on your porch or go for a small walk? It's one
time a week for a set period of time. Your dad has someone
helping him so that could be your excuse to get some "me" time
in.
#Post#: 57105--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Dazi Date: September 9, 2020, 7:38 am
---------------------------------------------------------
IME, a hair covering does nothing to mitigate hair product
scents. If you want to still have this person over, you probably
will need to leave while they are there and air out the house
when you come back.
#Post#: 57111--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Hmmm Date: September 9, 2020, 8:49 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=STiG link=topic=1845.msg57086#msg57086
date=1599612631]
I considered that. But the thing is, I really like her
otherwise and Dad really likes her. I have no idea whether or
not there is an alternate product she can use that doesn't smell
as strong. Plus, right now, the agency is so short staffed that
if I ask that she not come back, we'll be without a visit at all
on this particular day. Whenever she is on holidays, they are
putting out an all call to everyone region wide, not just the
people who work in our direct area, to fill in.
[/quote]
I'm not sure I think it is fair to ask her to go out of her way
to find a different hair product to accommodate your
sensitivity. If this was someone working in your home daily or
if losing her ability to come to your home would cause her to be
out of work, then I probably would think it ok to come up with a
compromise for both of you.
You can try the your suggested script and ask about covering her
hair. But I just don't think I'd ask her to go to the effort of
finding a different product.
#Post#: 57115--------------------------------------------------
Re: How to Speak to Someone Regarding a Scent
By: Kimberami Date: September 9, 2020, 9:17 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I just noticed at the bottom of your post that you can't leave.
Do you wear a mask while she is there? If you wear a mask, try
chewing some peppermint gum. That would hold the smell of
peppermint near your nose. It could help. Another option would
be to use some vapo-rub under your nose, under the mask.
I can't see how you can say something about her smell without
sounding bad. It's not as though she's dirty or unkempt. The
product use is part of a grooming routine.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page