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#Post#: 56926--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: Aleko Date: September 5, 2020, 5:19 am
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[quote]To answer your general question, I think for a cheap,
generic item that's easily replaceable, you don't need to hold
onto it for more than a few months.[/quote]
For my money, ‘a few months’ if you did nothing about it, yes -
but if you’ve gone to the trouble of notifying everyone who
might possibly have left it, and heard not a squeak from anyone
that ‘oh, that may be mine’, then IMHO after a month or so you’d
be well within your rights to lose it, throw it, or lend it to
someone else saying, ‘no need to bring it back’.
#Post#: 56927--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: Limmershin Date: September 5, 2020, 5:40 am
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Is Mary related to Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory, by any
chance?
#Post#: 56928--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: vintagegal Date: September 5, 2020, 5:52 am
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a bit OT, but I felt bad when, after my dad died and we were
cleaning out his apt., we heard from a lady who had loaned him
some National Geographic magazines. Naturally she didn't want to
ask for them the day after he died, but neither my sister nor I
lived in the area and we were cleaning up in record time, so
they were long gone by the time she did ask. She was very nice
about it but I still felt bad. At least it was not a cherished
heirloom or something like that.
#Post#: 56930--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: DaDancingPsych Date: September 5, 2020, 7:00 am
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I feel like Hmmm is doing everything possible to get the lost
items back to their owners. I think a month feels like plenty of
time for the owner to claim something, especially because Hmmm
is being proactive and trying to notify the owners. But Mary
needed to take some level of responsibility here, too. If this
umbrella was so important to her, when you sent your initial
email, she should have checked to see if she had it. And when
she did realize that it was missing, she should have provided
the description that you requested. But her inaction reads as if
the umbrella is not all that important to her. Also, I would say
that if it is so important to her that she should double check
that she leaves with it, consider labeling it with her name, or
maybe not take it to places where it might get lost.
But I think it's her behavior after the fact that would be
upsetting me. Hmmm says that she was joking, so I might try to
give her a pass, but I could see myself thinking twice about
future invitations.
#Post#: 56939--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: September 5, 2020, 10:53 am
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For an item that Mary says is so important to her, she doesn't
seem to want to lift a finger to retrieve it. Humph.
30 days is fine. Especially since you emailed the group and let
them know right away.
When I worked for the DMV, we always had customers leave stuff
behind, and even when I knew who it belonged to (like, say, a
passport), I almost never had a phone number or email address to
notify them. I had a habit of letting things pile up until our
Lost and Found box was full, and then I would pitch anything I
knew had been in there for over a month (except for the IPad,
which I signed over to my region manager).
I did seriously wonder about one item. It was bitterly cold out
(10 degrees F), and someone left their winter coat behind. I
still don't understand that one. If you got within 5 feet of the
door, the chill would hit you like a knife. How did they keep on
going?
#Post#: 56945--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: peony Date: September 5, 2020, 1:40 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1839.msg56875#msg56875
date=1599236855]
This is the part that bugged me the most. She asked me to bring
it to her. I told her I wasn't familiar where she lived but if
she let me know I could see if I'd be in her area anytime in the
near future, but I was pretty irked by the request. She then
responded back that since we'd be at an event in the next 2
weeks to just bring it then. But to "please tag it with her name
so that it didn't go missing in my house again...hahaha." I
bring the umbrella, she says thanks, and then makes a comment to
the assembled group that they should make sure to never leave
anything at my house because it could "suspiciously" go missing.
I know she meant it as a joke, but it also implied I had either
been remiss in my responsibilities or that I had intentionally
been keeping the umbrella.
I don't see Mary much anymore. I'll admit to being a poor
hostess to her the next time she came to an event I hosted. As
she left I said "ok, Mary, I need you to check you have
everything. Do you have your glasses, your purse, did you bring
an umbrella, any dishes, or jackets or sweaters? We want to make
sure nothing gets left here."
[/quote]
Perhaps I have a thin skin (in fact I know I do sometimes), but
Mary's remark about things going missing in my house would have
elicited a much more rude response than "I need you to check
everything..." I think OP's response was restrained and polite
compared to what I might have said. And Mary wouldn't be a
welcome guest in my house any more.
#Post#: 56947--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: chigger Date: September 5, 2020, 2:35 pm
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I think Mary was being a snowflake up until the remark about
things "suspiciously" disappearing at your home. Right there,
she crossed the line! I may have told her "I emailed everyone, I
sent you pics, I searched every vehicle, and when it was found,
you did not want to retrieve it."
#Post#: 57000--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: Hmmm Date: September 6, 2020, 2:56 pm
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[quote author=Limmershin link=topic=1839.msg56927#msg56927
date=1599302435]
Is Mary related to Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory, by any
chance?
[/quote]
Funny. Her husband does remind me of him sometimes.
#Post#: 57001--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: Hmmm Date: September 6, 2020, 3:12 pm
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Thanks, all for the responses. Yeah, I don't see Mary very often
anymore. She started hosting a monthly event for the group and I
just can't get any enthusiasm up to attend.
I'm pretty sure Mary thought her comments were funny and based
on her personality and life style, I know she and her husband an
minimalists. Her surprise that I could have extra "stuff" in my
house and not know what was extra was probably for real. But
I've found Mary's problem is that she thinks everyone is like
her about everything.
I'm glad most agree that 30 days is long enough to hold on to
stuff.
#Post#: 57015--------------------------------------------------
Re: Giving away someone's forgotten item
By: Aleko Date: September 7, 2020, 1:56 am
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[quote]I'm pretty sure Mary thought her comments were funny and
based on her personality and life style, I know she and her
husband an minimalists. Her surprise that I could have extra
"stuff" in my house and not know what was extra was probably for
real.[/quote]
But surely someone with a minimalist lifestyle who would always
know what in her house was ‘extra’ shouldn’t need a whole month
to notice what was missing? Especially when they were prompted
to go and check? A person like yourself who owns multiple
umbrellas which get left all over the place might not remember
which one you took to the party, and if you did you would have a
hard time making sure it definitely wasn’t somewhere in your
house. But if Mary owns just one or two umbrellas which are
always kept in their proper place, one glance would tell her it
was AWOL: so her failure to respond in a timely manner is all
the more culpable.
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