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#Post#: 56120--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: lakey Date: August 17, 2020, 3:34 pm
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I'm a dog lover and a dog owner. When you own a dog, you should
take responsibility for damage they do. In the OP's case, since
there was no actual damage, the owner should have at least
apologized. She may have laughed out of embarrassment. Making
excuses, such as saying you shouldn't wear good clothes around
her dog, is a refusal to take responsibility for her dog. She
should have leashed the dog. My dog is the sweetest dog in the
world and has never shown any aggressive tendencies. However,
she has spent very little time around young children, so when
people bring toddlers to my house, I keep her on a leash just in
case. Better safe than sorry.
As far as what to do if there had been damage, for me, that
would depend on whether the cost of the item was worth the
chance of wrecking the friendship. If it were a blouse, I
probably wouldn't bother, but if it were an iphone, depending on
the circumstances, I might. Also, as far as replacement cost,
from what I understand, in court cases you don't get replacement
value, you get depreciated value.
#Post#: 56135--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: sms Date: August 17, 2020, 7:25 pm
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I would never ask for money for an honest to goodness accident
- like if something was spilled and it stained but I feel it's
different if it's a failure to control an animal. I kind of
think I would wimp out of actually asking of reimbursement but I
would be pretty peevish if they didn't at least apologize and
offer to replace.
It's possible she was embarrassed about the jumping but I don't
know. The dog owners in my friend and family group all seem to
have rose coloured glasses on when it comes to their pet's
behaviour ( I do know that is not true of all dog owners! This
must be penance for something I've done in a past life. )
I just wish pet owners ( I'm one too ) would realize that
jumping, begging, licking and getting in people's faces can be
really unpleasant. I know some people don't mind but I wish pet
owner's wouldn't assume it's OK. The default should be to
assume it isn't.
#Post#: 56142--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: HenrysMom Date: August 17, 2020, 8:15 pm
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Well, the jumping is not only unpleasant, but potentially
dangerous. What if the dog jumped on a small child or even an
elderly person, causing injury? Lisa certainly couldn’t or
wouldn’t be allowed to laugh off a broken arm or hip.
#Post#: 56156--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: oogyda Date: August 18, 2020, 6:53 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1824.msg56092#msg56092
date=1597653524]
I agree with lisastitch that her laughing-it-off reaction may
well have been the product of dismay and embarrassment. It’s not
in the least a helpful way to handle the situation, but it’s one
that a lot of people do instinctively default to. So we can’t
necessarily conclude that she really didn’t care.
My feeling is that if the dog had managed to tear your blouse,
or left it with unremovable stains, your first move should have
been to say ‘Your dog has wrecked my blouse: I’ll have to throw
it away’ and wait for her response. If that was ‘Oh gosh, I’m so
sorry! I feel awful! Your lovely silk blouse! How much would it
cost to replace?’ you might either mention the actual price you
paid or even - if you really liked her and believed she
genuinely felt awful - refuse to let her pay, just rub it in
enough that she’ll be more careful to restrain her dog in
future. But if she continued to laugh it off, in your place I’d
name the actual replacement cost, and ask her to pay it.
That wouldn’t be losing a friendship over a blouse; it would be
losing a friendship over the friend’s refusal to acknowledge and
make amends for a harm she had carelessly done you. Not quite
the same thing.
[/quote]
Aleko...once again, I've hit the "dumb" badge by mistake. I
apologize.
I have, at least, figured out how it happens since it only
happens when I'm replying from my phone. That badge is directly
above the quote button and my fat fingers slip up.
Unfortunately, I'm moving on to reply before I notice so I can't
undo that rating.
#Post#: 56159--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: Aleko Date: August 18, 2020, 7:17 am
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[quote]Aleko...once again, I've hit the "dumb" badge by mistake.
I apologize. [/quote]
Thanks for that reassurance, oogyda, I was a bit worried!
#Post#: 56163--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: Kimberami Date: August 18, 2020, 7:47 am
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Lisa knew OP would be coming over after work. I have to assume
(correct me please) that she knows where OP works, and she'd
know that OP follows a dress code. One might not expect a Chanel
suit, but one should expect really nice, dressy clothing. Lisa
knows her dog jumps. She knows OP is coming over. Lisa should
have done something to prevent the dog from jumping on the OP.
Under those circumstances, Lisa should at the very least offered
to have the item cleaned.
#Post#: 56168--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: Hmmm Date: August 18, 2020, 8:51 am
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[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1824.msg56135#msg56135
date=1597710352]
I would never ask for money for an honest to goodness accident
- like if something was spilled and it stained but I feel it's
different if it's a failure to control an animal. I kind of
think I would wimp out of actually asking of reimbursement but I
would be pretty peevish if they didn't at least apologize and
offer to replace.
Snip
[/quote]
I had the initial thought too, but really, there are so many
ways accidents can occur because people are careless. I've
watched a sister sit down in a recently painted deck chair that
the owner forgot to mention was recently painted until she sat
down. I've had to have a crew come back out and smooth a new
driveway because a parent was not paying attention when their
child went running around the barrier up the driveway (the
barrier wasn't there to just keep cars out). I've had a cup of
coffee spilled down light grey pants because the co-worker set
the cup on the edge of the conference table. That last one
resulted in me loosing the pants and having to go buy another
pair before going to a dinner that night.
For me, carelessness is carelessness, whether it is the
momentary lapse of controlling your dog or getting to engaged in
a conversation and not paying attention to your coffee cup
placement.
#Post#: 56170--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: Jem Date: August 18, 2020, 9:40 am
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1824.msg56168#msg56168
date=1597758664]
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1824.msg56135#msg56135
date=1597710352]
I would never ask for money for an honest to goodness accident
- like if something was spilled and it stained but I feel it's
different if it's a failure to control an animal. I kind of
think I would wimp out of actually asking of reimbursement but I
would be pretty peevish if they didn't at least apologize and
offer to replace.
Snip
[/quote]
I had the initial thought too, but really, there are so many
ways accidents can occur because people are careless. I've
watched a sister sit down in a recently painted deck chair that
the owner forgot to mention was recently painted until she sat
down. I've had to have a crew come back out and smooth a new
driveway because a parent was not paying attention when their
child went running around the barrier up the driveway (the
barrier wasn't there to just keep cars out). I've had a cup of
coffee spilled down light grey pants because the co-worker set
the cup on the edge of the conference table. That last one
resulted in me loosing the pants and having to go buy another
pair before going to a dinner that night.
For me, carelessness is carelessness, whether it is the
momentary lapse of controlling your dog or getting to engaged in
a conversation and not paying attention to your coffee cup
placement.
[/quote]
I understand what you are saying Hmmm, but I think what Xainte
is saying (or at least this is how I feel about it) is that
damage that happens because of failure to control an animal is
far more predictable than garden variety momentary carelessness.
#Post#: 56194--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: sms Date: August 18, 2020, 4:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jem link=topic=1824.msg56170#msg56170
date=1597761602]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1824.msg56168#msg56168
date=1597758664]
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1824.msg56135#msg56135
date=1597710352]
I would never ask for money for an honest to goodness accident
- like if something was spilled and it stained but I feel it's
different if it's a failure to control an animal. I kind of
think I would wimp out of actually asking of reimbursement but I
would be pretty peevish if they didn't at least apologize and
offer to replace.
Snip
[/quote]
I had the initial thought too, but really, there are so many
ways accidents can occur because people are careless. I've
watched a sister sit down in a recently painted deck chair that
the owner forgot to mention was recently painted until she sat
down. I've had to have a crew come back out and smooth a new
driveway because a parent was not paying attention when their
child went running around the barrier up the driveway (the
barrier wasn't there to just keep cars out). I've had a cup of
coffee spilled down light grey pants because the co-worker set
the cup on the edge of the conference table. That last one
resulted in me loosing the pants and having to go buy another
pair before going to a dinner that night.
For me, carelessness is carelessness, whether it is the
momentary lapse of controlling your dog or getting to engaged in
a conversation and not paying attention to your coffee cup
placement.
[/quote]
I understand what you are saying Hmmm, but I think what Xainte
is saying (or at least this is how I feel about it) is that
damage that happens because of failure to control an animal is
far more predictable than garden variety momentary carelessness.
[/quote]
Right. People know if their dogs are jumpers. Lisa bloody well
knows it. I don't think they get to pretend it was an accident.
Luckily the blouse is handwashable so I didn't incur the
expense of a dry cleaner.
#Post#: 56195--------------------------------------------------
Re: Too expensive to replace
By: Hmmm Date: August 18, 2020, 4:27 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1824.msg56194#msg56194
date=1597784413]
[quote author=Jem link=topic=1824.msg56170#msg56170
date=1597761602]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1824.msg56168#msg56168
date=1597758664]
[quote author=Xainte link=topic=1824.msg56135#msg56135
date=1597710352]
I would never ask for money for an honest to goodness accident
- like if something was spilled and it stained but I feel it's
different if it's a failure to control an animal. I kind of
think I would wimp out of actually asking of reimbursement but I
would be pretty peevish if they didn't at least apologize and
offer to replace.
Snip
[/quote]
I had the initial thought too, but really, there are so many
ways accidents can occur because people are careless. I've
watched a sister sit down in a recently painted deck chair that
the owner forgot to mention was recently painted until she sat
down. I've had to have a crew come back out and smooth a new
driveway because a parent was not paying attention when their
child went running around the barrier up the driveway (the
barrier wasn't there to just keep cars out). I've had a cup of
coffee spilled down light grey pants because the co-worker set
the cup on the edge of the conference table. That last one
resulted in me loosing the pants and having to go buy another
pair before going to a dinner that night.
For me, carelessness is carelessness, whether it is the
momentary lapse of controlling your dog or getting to engaged in
a conversation and not paying attention to your coffee cup
placement.
[/quote]
I understand what you are saying Hmmm, but I think what Xainte
is saying (or at least this is how I feel about it) is that
damage that happens because of failure to control an animal is
far more predictable than garden variety momentary carelessness.
[/quote]
Right. People know if their dogs are jumpers. Lisa bloody well
knows it. I don't think they get to pretend it was an accident.
Luckily the blouse is handwashable so I didn't incur the
expense of a dry cleaner.
[/quote]
My sister and husband have a jumper and yes, they bloody well
know it, and they both know I do not like being jumped on. But
the probability of their jumper damaging my clothes is pretty
small or causing injury is pretty small. So those animal owners
know there is a moderate to high level of chance their jumper
will annoy a guest but not a high level that damage will occur
in my opinion. Just like in my example, an adult knows there is
a high probability of a cup following if set on the corner of a
table.
Liability to me is all about probability and expected impact.
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