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#Post#: 55245--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Winterlight Date: July 28, 2020, 8:41 pm
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Think about it this way: there are going to be a number of
occasions in her life when Daughter can't be the star of the
show, or even part of the show. If she learns how to be part of
the audience now, then that's a good thing. And if you give in
on this, what happens at the next wedding/big event? She's
learned that you will cave and then help her get her way, even
if it means inconveniencing others or putting them on the spot.
That's going to be a big problem down the line- right now it's
just a little kid who wants to show off a bit, but in a few
years, she'll be a teenager. You don't want to have to wrangle a
teen who throws raging tantrums because she wants to be An
Important Person at everything she goes to and is furious when
she isn't.
#Post#: 55246--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: SparklingIce Date: July 28, 2020, 8:48 pm
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This has taken some looooong thinking on my part and a good sit
and chat with me and Brielle. I took the whole brides maid/bride
dress analogy and she found it funny and understood the point.
And trust me, I have been reading each of your replies with
thought. Perhaps the "bonus" flower girl thing wasn't the best
idea. She really wants to go but she is still scared of a flower
girl (or a few) being there. I told her there might not be, and
we have a couple of months to think about it. We did start
looking at dresses and within the first 20 mins she found a
little "suit" she is dead set on. While I'm not sure of the
pink, since it is a fall wedding, it certainly is not a flower
girl dress or a princess costume. It's a start - if she sticks
with it, then we'll get it closer to the wedding. Besides, the
link says the shop is out of stock in them. Let's hope they get
orders by November!
[img]
HTML https://slimages.macysassets.com/is/image/MCY/products/4/optimized/14761694_fpx.tif?op_sharpen=1&wid=354&hei=430&fit=fit,1&$filtersm$&fmt=webp[/img]
So maybe this and a brand new rose gold Jojo bow to top the
ensamble off.
#Post#: 55264--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Chez Miriam Date: July 29, 2020, 5:04 am
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I'm glad you've started the conversation/process now - it gives
Brielle plenty of time/practice to get used to the idea, and
that little suit looks perfect for a girl attending a wedding!
I hope you find a lovely hairclip or ribbon to match, and you
all have a wonderful time at the wedding.
I'm glad you reacted well to the posters above, because it makes
my tale of my college friend an anecdote rather than a dire
warning:
"M" was Daddy's Little Princess, and the world was moulded to
fit comfortably around her wants/desires [and Daddy had enough
clout/money to ensure that happened]...
And then M went to [over 18s] college, and by her (truly
spectacular) tantrums/demands alienated every. single. fellow.
student. Apart from me (for some reason). I loved M like the
little sister I never had, and resolved to have the "awkward
conversation". So that ended up with M hating me.
After a few weeks of no-one in the class talking with her, and
her shunning me, she actually apologised to me [for hitting me,
as well; that was part of her arsenal, when she didn't get her
way]. Because I thought she was a lovely girl, who had just
been ruined by her father's indulgence, I forgave her and we
became great friends. Other people did not. She dropped out of
college after a couple of years. I still miss her [when I think
of her], but I believe [from some trickled-back reports via
friends-of-friends] she started out afresh with a new attitude,
so I'm hopeful that she went on to make some truly wonderful
friends.
Someone choosing a different path for her aged 7 really would
have made those years between 18 and 20 a lot easier.
#Post#: 55271--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Aleko Date: July 29, 2020, 7:49 am
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[quote]She really wants to go but she is still scared of a
flower girl (or a few) being there. [/quote]
Scared? ??? If you seriously meant that she finds scary the
mere idea of having to watch another little girl being in the
limelight when she isn't, that is worrying.
#Post#: 55276--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Gellchom Date: July 29, 2020, 9:13 am
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I like Toots’s “taking turns” language. I had been thinking the
same thing; surely Brielle has learned to take turns.
So you can use that language. “You know how to take turns. And
you’re not scared of that. Well, that’s all this is — someone
else’s turn. You got this, Brielle!”
My kids, now adults, were glad we taught them to be confident
that they’d be able to handle things.
#Post#: 55277--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: TootsNYC Date: July 29, 2020, 9:20 am
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I too am a little worried on her behalf due to this phrasing.
Well, not so much worried, but it's an odd phrasing, and I
wonder if there's something behind it worth digging out.
[quote] she is still scared of a flower girl (or a few) being
there.[/quote]
That's something to explore a little. Maybe she can just get
through it, but you might encourage her to think about whether
that's an accurate word to describe her feelings, and to think
about what bad thing there is that she's scared of.
#Post#: 55281--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Rose Red Date: July 29, 2020, 9:35 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1799.msg55271#msg55271
date=1596026979]
[quote]She really wants to go but she is still scared of a
flower girl (or a few) being there. [/quote]
Scared? ??? If you seriously meant that she finds scary the
mere idea of having to watch another little girl being in the
limelight when she isn't, that is worrying.
[/quote]
I was thinking the same thing. That really jumped out at me. A
seven year old is in the 1st or 2nd grade in the US. How does
she react when another student is the center of attention or
rewarded? Or is her issue just for weddings with flower girls
because of the "fairytale" setting? But either way, being scared
is a concern and need to be addressed before the wedding. That
little suit is beautiful, but you need to make sure she doesn't
have a meltdown when face to face with the reality of flower
girls in princess-like dresses.
#Post#: 55325--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Gellchom Date: July 29, 2020, 1:55 pm
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How are people seeing the suit? I don’t see a link.
#Post#: 55343--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Hmmm Date: July 29, 2020, 6:27 pm
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Hi, I like the suit and think it would be fine for a Fall
wedding since it has a jacket. Good luck.
#Post#: 55344--------------------------------------------------
Re: Honorary Flower Girl - Sorta?
By: Rose Red Date: July 29, 2020, 6:33 pm
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[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1799.msg55325#msg55325
date=1596048959]
How are people seeing the suit? I don’t see a link.
[/quote]
The picture is in post# 11. It's not a link. It's just there.
Maybe it's your settings? Sorry, I don't know much about
computers.
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