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#Post#: 52734--------------------------------------------------
Pandemic Baby Showers
By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 5, 2020, 8:03 am
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I received a baby shower invitation in the mail yesterday.
Everything indicates that it's a tradition party with no
adjustments concerning the pandemic. I am on the fence of how to
handle it. Under normal circumstances, I would want to attend
the August event, but depending on the recommendations at the
time, I might prefer to skip it to avoid spread of the virus.
The RSVP deadline is mid-July, but Brimstoners have taught me
that I should reply ASAP.
I welcome any thoughts concerning my situation. (How you would
make you decision.) But I also welcome thoughts on how this
pandemic has changed shower etiquette (if at all.) Is it
appropriate to wait things out to observe conditions prior to
making a decision? Should I assume that a mask will be required?
(What if I am wearing one and others are not?) If rates spike
closer to the party is it appropriate to cancel (guest or host)?
I just thought it might be interesting topic... and it might
help me work through my decision, too! ;D
#Post#: 52735--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: betty Date: June 5, 2020, 8:19 am
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I'd contact the host and let them know that you would like to
attend, but are also concerned about covid-19.
You can ask what precautions they plan on having. Will everyone
be wearing masks? Will there be space to spread out so you
aren't close to one another? Will the festivities be outside or
inside? If the host doesn't take your questions and concerns
seriously, you will have a good idea that there won't be many
precautions taken.
Let them know that you'll have to make your decision much closer
to the actual date, because you won't be able to attend unless
infection rates have gone way down (as we all hope they will).
You can also ask for the best address to ship a gift in the
event that you can't attend in person.
If you have particular concerns (like you are at risk or care
for someone who is, or you are more likely to be a carrier
because you are working in public), you could mention that. But
you don't have to give an excuse to follow good pandemic
infection-control rules so don't feel like you need to justify
your concerns.
Normally, most of this would be considered fairly rude. These
are not normal times.
#Post#: 52738--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: gramma dishes Date: June 5, 2020, 8:56 am
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I would be even more cautious because it's a baby shower. You
know -- very pregnant lady carrying very special cargo! There
have sadly been at least a few cases of mothers contracting it
and their babies dying shortly after birth. I would be very
reluctant to either throw or attend a shower, much less be the
honoree, unless by that time the numbers are way, way down.
#Post#: 52746--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: Lilipons Date: June 5, 2020, 10:32 am
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I agree with the above. Contact the host and tell them what you
told us. August is a good ways off but you never know how these
things work. Better safe than sorry.
#Post#: 52748--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: Aleko Date: June 5, 2020, 10:43 am
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[quote]Normally, most of this would be considered fairly
rude.[/quote]
I'm not sure if even that is true. The principles of etiquette
cover all eventualities! If it's not clear if one's own health
will permit one to attend a future event, or whether travel to
the event will be too difficult or dangerous, it's always
perfectly legit to reply 'in principle I'd love to, but I won't
know till nearer the time if I can - what's your deadline for a
definite yes or no?' And if the gathering itself has potential
hazards or no-nos, it's also fine to ask, for example, 'Will
there be any dogs there?' or 'can your caterers provide a halal
meal'? before accepting. These are pretty close parallels to
the responses you suggested.
#Post#: 52751--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: TootsNYC Date: June 5, 2020, 11:38 am
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It is an interesting topic, too! Nice to have an etiquette one.
Some other answers to specific questions, at least, my own
thoughts:
[quote]Is it appropriate to wait things out to observe
conditions prior to making a decision? [/quote]
Yes. In fact, I wouldn't even tell them I was waiting to
decide; I'd just wait. I'd plug in a reminder on my calendar for
a week before the event, and then I'd decide them, and RSVP.
[quote]Should I assume that a mask will be required?[/quote]
I think you should assume that any official restrictions or
recommendations will be honored. And that all guests should be
prepared to wear a mask.
If you don't want to attend unless other people ARE wearing
masks, that would be a question I'd ask the hostess before
deciding: "It's important to me to be safe, so I'm wondering if
you know whether people will be wearing masks."
If she says no, you can decline at that point.
If she says she thinks so or doesn't know, you can decide if
you want to risk it. And if you arrive and there are not enough
people wearing masks to keep you comfortable, you can give
greetings at the door, wave a cheery goodbye, say "Sorry not to
stay--I'm taking extra precautions, so I'm going to leave, but I
hope you have a great time. Happy baby/wedding!"
[quote] (What if I am wearing one and others are not?) [/quote]
You can decide whether you want to leave or stay. I'm torn on
whether you can ask people to wear masks. My vote would be to
just leave instead; let them live with the consequence of not
wearing the mask, and see if other people will make your point
for you. (Sort of like, if you post something here, and people
are arguing with you, it's a good idea to just wait and see if
others will take up your cause.)
[quote]If rates spike closer to the party is it appropriate to
cancel (guest or host)?[/quote]
Yes. Because safety trumps etiquette. Even before a
sometimes-deadly, often-unpleasant easily spread virus, you
could cancel because you are unwell.
You don't have to go into a lot of stuff; you can just say,
"I'm not feeling well, so I won't be able to attend." If you
want, you CAN say, "I'm going to drop off the gift and wave from
my car; I want to stay safe, and the surge in cases has me
cautious."
#Post#: 52752--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: Jem Date: June 5, 2020, 1:19 pm
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I think you can ask what precautions might be taken and then
decide whether you want to attend, but I don't think it would be
appropriate to insist that any specific precautions be taken. If
you don't like what is planned, send a gift (if you want to) and
stay home.
I think a lot of people are to the point of not really believing
anything they are being told about safety precautions for
COVID-19, especially after the recent protests and riots. It
seems government orders are being relaxed nationwide, although
it is different all over the place. If you personally feel you
need to follow certain safety precautions, you certainly should,
but I don't think demanding other people follow your personal
safety protocols is appropriate at this point.
#Post#: 52761--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 5, 2020, 3:49 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1741.msg52751#msg52751
date=1591375121]
It is an interesting topic, too! Nice to have an etiquette one.
[/quote]
I try! ;) I love hearing how different people view different
situations.
#Post#: 52826--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: Hmmm Date: June 8, 2020, 1:32 pm
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Here's my thoughts.
To attend or not:
-Do I work or participate in actvities that causes me to be
around lots of people? If yes, then I might decide to not attend
to reduce risk of infectiont to the mom.
-Am I in a high risk category? If yes, I might ask about the
number of expected guests and if they were taking any
precautions. I think everyone will have the different level of
tolerance for the number of people they are willing to be around
at one time.
-Where is the event being hosted? If I nice outdoor garden
party, I might feel like my risk is lower. If at a banquet room
in a hotel or restaurant, I'd probably feel there was a higher
risk.
When to RSVP
I'd probably wait till the week of the mid July RSVP cut off. I
think everyone is being more lax on making commitments and
aren't expecting it from others.
If I knew the host well, I might send a text or note saying that
I would be waiting till around that time to commit.
Changing your RSVP
If rates start spiking, yes, I agree that it is better to be
conservative. I would think the hosts would be very
understanding of last minute changes.
Wearing masks in social events
I am not yet comfortable with the idea of wearing masks at
social events. The idea of pulling down a mask each time I take
a sip of a drink or nosh on a few nuts seems very uninviting. If
the hosts asked guests to wear masks, I would probably attend
for a shorter amount of time.
#Post#: 52833--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pandemic Baby Showers
By: DaDancingPsych Date: June 8, 2020, 4:23 pm
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Always such great, in-depth thoughts, Hmmm!
I had not even thought of the eating/drinking with a mask issue.
How awkward and strange. I was more concerning about trying to
converse with Aunt Gertrude who is hard of hearing to begin
with!
I certainly hope that we will continue discussing, but I am
thinking that I will not be attending. One of my jobs just
contacted me and we will be returning to working onsite in July.
The day before the shower is a planned event where I will likely
be in contact with 100 (or more) people throughout the day.
Unless the virus up and disappears, I think I would be bringing
too much risk for the MTB and guests. Heck, I am not sure how
comfortable I am with being in contact with so many people!!! I
don't think it's fair to subject the others to that.
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