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#Post#: 50849--------------------------------------------------
The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: ZekailleTasker Date: April 24, 2020, 2:11 am
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I've already done it, but I welcome ideas on being challenged.
My 18 year old niece and I have a great time when together, but
apart, contacting her thru social media is like seeking a needle
in a haystack. I will send a text congratulating her on an
achievement and three months later (if I am lucky) I get a text
that reads "Who is this?" I don't mind. I was 18 once. I was
also self involved. I get it. So I was surprised and pleased
when I got a lengthy text from her. Then I read the text.
This charming, intelligent and poised young woman who has always
believed she can do anything she wants to, sent me a formula
script telling me about the wonder, joy and confidence she has
discovered in herself after doing some sort of diet program with
and MLM company product. She wanted to set up a time where I
could call and she and her recruiter would tell me all about how
the product changed their lives and then we could watch a video
on the company and she would like me to be the person to whom
she is accountable for meeting her sales quota monthly.
I talked with someone who knew a bit about the company and while
they are legitimate, they have a tier system whose picture you
might see when you look up the word "convoluted". The products
are incredibly expensive and while the products are made with
natural products, they are loaded with lots of unnatural
ingredients as well. My niece, who is saving for college (and
probably views this as a way to get tons of cash) would have to
shell out a certain fee each month for being in the organization
as well as buying a lot of product to sell.
Now, I know a lot of people swear by MLMs and others don't like
them. After my experience with a popular cosmetic MLM, where
the rep hounded me monthly to become more than just a customer
and almost cursed me out for finally breaking ties with the
company altogether, I know I don't want to get involved with
another one. And I am, frankly appalled, with the script they
had her use about how she has gained so much confidence and
pride in herself since doing the health program. (Also, I
question the wisdom of the program after hearing her screaming
in the background at her parents while I was on a call with my
brother that she hated doing this cleanse.) I also suspect that
as her "accountability buddy" or whatever it is, I would, at
some point, be expected to fork over a lot of cash myself and
--just no.
So I texted back what I hope was a gentle, breezy message,
saying that I would love to talk to her anytime she wanted and I
would certainly not say no to purchasing some of the perfume or
skin care products, but unfortunately, with the struggles I am
having working from home, and meeting goals already set for me
at my job, I really couldn't focus on that and be an
accountability buddy. Could she send me a link so I could view
the product and I would call her to tell her what I wanted,
etc., etc., and we could have a nice chat while we were at it.
Haven't heard a word since.
On the one hand I feel like maybe I am successfully dodging what
I know will be a ghastly bullet. On the other, I feel as if I
am not being supportive. And honestly, while I would never say
a word to her parents, I am horrified but not surprised they are
allowing her to do this. Both of them have been involved with
various MLMs before and everything is always hunky dory until it
isn't.
So, did I handle this okay? Should I prepare for further
battles? I love this girl and want to be there for her, but I
just don't feel that I can get behind this project.
#Post#: 50851--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: HenrysMom Date: April 24, 2020, 3:40 am
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I think what you wrote was fine. These MLM’s seem to be a rite
of passage for a lot of kids, so it’s your niece’s turn.
(I was in this position some years back, when my great niece got
involved with Cutco. She called me asking if I’d buy knives
from her. Well, I’ve heard of Cutco and wanted no part of it,
but I was able to tell her that I had just bought a knife set
from Williams-Sonoma, so no. Haven’t heard from her since, and
I’m okay with that.)
If you get any pushback, just reiterate the “no time” and leave
it at that. No sense in telling her “it’s a MLM” - she’ll
figure it out soon enough. If not, someone else can get shot as
the messenger.
#Post#: 50854--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: Aleko Date: April 24, 2020, 4:23 am
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[quote]I feel as if I am not being supportive. [/quote]
If by that you mean that a really supportive aunt would have
agreed, stop feeling that way right now! Any effort or money you
expended on keeping her sales quota met would only put off the
inevitable car crash - and the longer this commitment staggers
on the more money she is likely to lose by it. (And the more
friends she is likely to lose by it too, as people who come to
realise that any reaching-out from her is just the lead-in to
pestering them to buy, and will start blocking or unfriending
her.)
By the same token, I think you need to be cruel to be kind if
she wants you to buy anything. Rather than saying you 'would
certainly not say no' to buying, you could have said you'd be
happy to see the range and would buy if you saw anything you
needed at a reasonable price. Because if this isn't good,
useful, keenly-priced stuff, all the long-suffering friends and
relations she has in the world won't keep this enterprise from
falling over.
#Post#: 50857--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: Oz Diva Date: April 24, 2020, 6:49 am
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Someone wanted me to get involved in her MLM (Arbonne I think),
and I replied that I had trouble selling raffle tickets. She
backed off.
#Post#: 50858--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: vintagegal Date: April 24, 2020, 6:52 am
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I'd go even further, I wouldn't buy anything from an MLM. Like
another poster said, just putting off the inevitable crash.
Maybe find an income disclosure statement from the company to
show her, and it will probably show that 98% of the people
involved have an annual income of like $4.
"sorry, niece, I don't support the business model of MLMs as
they are exploiting people."
#Post#: 50864--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: kckgirl Date: April 24, 2020, 8:46 am
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I sold products for a home party sales company about 25 years
ago. We were required to have six parties every month, and the
great people I met kept that going well, but I finally couldn't
do it because I had new responsibilities at home. They wouldn't
budge, so I just quit. Now I think the products are too
expensive and won't buy them.
#Post#: 50888--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: ZekailleTasker Date: April 24, 2020, 12:36 pm
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Thank you! Aleko, I wish I had asked you for wording BEFORE I
wrote the text. ^_^
You've all told me pretty much what I expected. Some times my
Auntie antenna get itchy since I only see her a couple times a
year once they moved away and so missed a lot of her growing up.
(Sometimes I think I just miss the chubby little girl who could
get me to play hide and seek for five hours without a break and
who just loved any new art project, no matter how cheesy or even
complicated. She used to drive me absolutely insane back then,
and now I would trade half of my rainy day funds to have one
more hour of yelling "Marco" to hear her call back "Polo"! Yeah,
basically, she had me wrapped around her pinky.)
I am going to take a wait and see approach. If she contacts me,
I will stress that I don't have time for this kind of venture
and wish her well. I like the notion of MLMs as a rite of
passage for people her age. I would like to say she will learn,
but her parents keep getting involved with this stuff, too.
Love them lots, but whenever they start talking about how they
have found this wonderful new whatever, I put a cheerful smile
on my face, nod and offer to buy whatever is cheapest.
#Post#: 50896--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: ZekailleTasker Date: April 24, 2020, 1:22 pm
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[quote author=kckgirl link=topic=1691.msg50864#msg50864
date=1587735984]
I sold products for a home party sales company about 25 years
ago. We were required to have six parties every month, and the
great people I met kept that going well, but I finally couldn't
do it because I had new responsibilities at home. They wouldn't
budge, so I just quit. Now I think the products are too
expensive and won't buy them.
[/quote]
This was my experience with the cosmetics MLM I mentioned. I
like the product and was happy to pay their prices every three
months or so, but the rep was relentless in wanting me to become
a salesperson for her. I explained that I was already working
one full time and one part time job and that as I was also
trying to write a novel plus maintain a social life, I could not
undertake further commitments. Eventually I had to hang up on
her in mid tirade and change to a skin care line that I could
buy at the drugstore without pressure from sales personnel. You
know what? Drug store line works really well, lasts for months,
and is a fraction of the cost.
#Post#: 50984--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: bopper Date: April 27, 2020, 9:29 am
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You could also send her a "be careful about MLMs letter"...e.g.,
HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/antiMLM/comments/7nylj7/anti_mlm_form_letter/
#Post#: 51071--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Niece, the MLM and Auntie Curmudgeon: What Would You Do?
By: ZekailleTasker Date: April 29, 2020, 10:33 am
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Well, I broke down and agreed to buy some product. I will say,
it was nice getting the items with niece's "product consultant"
discount. But while we talked lipstick and body lotions, I also
slipped in some commentary on my experience with MLM and she
laughed and said she promised not to badger me.
I purchased three items, 2 of which I really do need pricey as
they are. Before discount, I was paying as much as I would for
a week's worth of groceries, but the discounts brought it down
to a manageable, 2 figure, amount. I did tell her that she
better remember this when I am old and frail and need someone to
take care of me.
Then we talked about her covid distancing, the new cat a virtual
dance her school held since the kids couldn't have a traditional
one.
She told me she had tried selling this product once before, and
failed, but with her new mentor, she is sure she will do better.
I am not sure how since the only people she has sold to are
relatives who all live hundreds of miles away and she admitted
that the target audience (her peers) cannot afford to purchase
the products to begin with.
Me? I am going to make sure that if I really get hooked on my
new body butter cream, that I make it last as long as possible
because I am not taking out a small loan to get more! Also, I
plan to be supportive when, ultimately, she quits this sales
line. I suspect she is doing this because she's lost her
current job thanks to COVID and once she gets back to teaching
and interacting with kids, this will fall by the wayside.
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