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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 49009--------------------------------------------------
Re: Should I give money back?
By: Dazi Date: March 22, 2020, 7:32 am
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What something costs and what something is worth are two totally
different things. It may have only cost you $3, but it was worth
$20 to your neighbor.
#Post#: 49065--------------------------------------------------
Re: Should I give money back?
By: betty Date: March 23, 2020, 10:51 am
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The ease of using your water was worth $20 to the neighbor. If
your water wasn't available, they would have had more than $20
worth of aggravation (and possibly real costs).
You've told the truth about the cost and offered a refund. The
neighbor said keep the money.
Let it go. Someday, you can pass $17 worth of something nice
along to someone else. :)
#Post#: 49068--------------------------------------------------
Re: Should I give money back?
By: TootsNYC Date: March 23, 2020, 10:56 am
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Give her the $15 back. And then maybe you and she can get into
one of those "feuds" where you pass the $15 back and forth in
various forms for years!
Because I think you need to let her know you found it, I think
you should drop her a note that explains how it went missing
(you have a reputation to think of), and return $15 of it, maybe
with an "I didn't have singles, so i decided to 'charge' $2 as a
service fee," and draw a winkie. And that might be enough to
make her feel that she'd indeed given you a little extra, but
also see you as someone who didn't want to take advantage.
#Post#: 49462--------------------------------------------------
Re: Should I give money back?
By: Victoria Date: April 1, 2020, 9:25 am
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1663.msg49068#msg49068
date=1584978985]
Give her the $15 back. And then maybe you and she can get into
one of those "feuds" where you pass the $15 back and forth in
various forms for years!
Because I think you need to let her know you found it, I think
you should drop her a note that explains how it went missing
(you have a reputation to think of), and return $15 of it, maybe
with an "I didn't have singles, so i decided to 'charge' $2 as a
service fee," and draw a winkie. And that might be enough to
make her feel that she'd indeed given you a little extra, but
also see you as someone who didn't want to take advantage.
[/quote]
By letting OP keep the $20, the neighbor is trying to feel like
they're on equal footing again, instead of feeling like she owes
the OP. If OP unilaterally decides to "charge" the neighbor,
that will take away the neighbor's feeling of agency over the
situation, and takes away neighbor's feeling of satisfaction at
having "fairly" paid OP.
I personally think OP should return $17 (cash) with a simple
note, if she is concerned that her neighbor doesn't actually
want OP to keep the balance, or take neighbor at her word and
return none of it at all but still tell the neighbor that she
found it.
Converting it into a gift card, which was mentioned upthread,
puts them on unequal footing again, and might perpetuate the
cycle of neighbor feeling like she "owes" OP. It also makes OP
appear a bit strange. I can't think of another transaction where
it would be acceptable to return a balance in a different form.
You wouldn't borrow unleaded gasoline and then return the
difference in diesel. You wouldn't borrow a cup of flour and
then return an excess half cup of cornmeal, etc.
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