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#Post#: 48300--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Pattycake Date: March 5, 2020, 8:40 pm
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I am going to a baby shower tomorrow. I did buy one thing on the
registry - the re-usable diapers, because I had already bought a
changing pad before I found they had a registry. Then while
looking at the registry items, i thought hmmm... if they have to
change the baby when out, the pad is great, but then what do
they put the diapers in? So I also got some wet bags. Of course
I had made a little quilt, then I remembered I had a soft,
pretty baby hat that I had bought long before they were even
expecting. So I got one thing on the registry that would for
sure please the parents, a couple extras to go with it that they
may not have thought of, and a couple of keepsake type items I
know they will like. Normally, I would either buy something the
baby will need that's useful, whether on the registry or not, or
I would make a quilt, but this is my dearest almost-niece so she
gets the bonanza! Plus they're having some sort of door prize
for those that bring a book or a bow (it's a girl - I don't know
what the "or" item would be for a boy), and i had already long
ago bought Wonky Donkey and I Need a New Bum!
#Post#: 48302--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Hello Ducky Date: March 5, 2020, 9:28 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1649.msg48284#msg48284
date=1583430512]
[quote]One last question is, would someone register for
multiple/ similar items(variety of sippy cups or blankets) on a
registry in order to have a variety of items for guests to
choose from, but would return some items back to the store, in
order to get credit to buy few of the pricier needed items for
baby?
[/quote]
They're not supposed to. If someone did register for a variety
of sippy cups, my own assumption would be that they didn't know
which ones they would prefer, and they figured they'd do their
experimenting via the gifts that people are giving.
I see so many guests who really want a registry; they don't want
to think, etc. And so moms/brides-to-be will put more on their
registry simply because they feel a little pressured to do so.
The truth is that for babies, there really are only a very few
things that people need. And most guests aren't going to buy a
big-ticket item like a car seat or a crib (maybe a group would).
So I think there's a much bigger assumption that guests will buy
things not on the registry. I never feel any qualms about buying
non-registry gifts for ANY occasion, but especially for babies,
I really don't.
As far as remembering whether you bought wipes, etc.--I think
you are right, that nuts-and-bolts items like that don't really
get remembered. If that's a goal, you might want to strategize
differently. (If you're a practical-gift giver, you could get a
lot of memorability by buying a huge supply of baby wipes,
maybe; then every time they use a baby wipe--for the next 5
years, probably--they'll remember that you gave them the hugest
supply of wipes.)
But baby shower presents are normally (even in my ultra-generous
ILs' family, where a $70 shower present is considered kind of
cheap) not that expensive.
[/quote]
They're "not supposed to?" There aren't registry rules that I
know of. People register for things in a very personal way.
Maybe they want a lot of sippy cups; maybe they don't know what
brand they'll like best; maybe they like all of the cups they've
listed and are giving guests choices so they'll (parents) will
still have a bit of the surprise element when they see which one
they receive.
Even if they registered for ONE sippy cup, there's a chance
they'll receive more than one. Of course they can return the
rest and use the credit toward whatever else they need for baby.
#Post#: 48303--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: esmerita Date: March 5, 2020, 10:30 pm
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I'd even shy away from the consumables nowadays - unless you
know the parents won't recoil because your choice of brands
aren't eco-friendly/biodegradeable/fair trade enough.
In the past when I had a lot of baby showers to attend I usually
bought a gift set of proof coins for the baby's birth year - a
unique gift that the child can appreciate when they're older and
will never get thrown out. Though come to think of it, I may
just be sharing my hoarder tendencies!
#Post#: 48305--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Aleko Date: March 6, 2020, 1:16 am
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[quote]They're "not supposed to?" There aren't registry rules
that I know of. People register for items in a very personal
way.[/quote]
Yes: but if their very personal way is to ask for a load of
things they don't want, with the clear intention of taking them
back to the shop and cashing in, that to my mind is deceitful
and mercenary. To let Auntie Mabel spend her money on something
you have told her you (generic you) want, and hand it over all
nicely wrapped in the fond expectation that you will use it, and
thank her sweetly saying how useful it will be, all the while
thinking 'Wa-hey! That's $XX in the bank right there!' - no,
that's not nice.
#Post#: 48309--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: kckgirl Date: March 6, 2020, 6:27 am
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Regarding sippy cups, new babies don't need them, but if their
parents put them on the registry for future use, I can't imagine
why they would only choose one. My children and grandchildren
had multiple sippy cups for a variety of reasons (they get lost,
a few are in the dishwasher when you need one, you'll be out all
day and need more than one, etc.). I would be surprised if any
family has only one and never gets another.
#Post#: 48321--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 6, 2020, 11:05 am
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The bargain hunter in me also turns her nose up at high end
stores whose prices are more than others. She will often see
something on the registry and Google it to see if she can get
the same item cheaper at another store. I see nothing wrong with
this, especially because the recipient does not need to know
which store I bought it at. However, busy me often just clicks
“buy” and doesn’t fret over the few dollars I might have saved!
Registries are really meant to be helpful. It provides insight
into what is needed… or what the parents think that they need.
As an experienced parent, you may have other ideas of what is
needed and not, which is fine. If you don’t like the gift ideas
on the registry, then come up with your own gift idea. My guess
is that probably every new parent had at least one gift at their
shower that they didn’t think to register for, but that turned
out to be the most helpful item ever.
I don’t think you have to remain generic if you buy off the
registry. Buy the gift that you want to give the parents. Sure,
it’s more thoughtful when you think about what they may like,
but I don’t think you HAVE to stick to the exact ones on the
registry.
I’m sure that some people do register with the idea that they
can return things to get the bigger ticket items. (Some people,
but not all.) But I also don’t see any issues with that. Most
stores have generous return policies so that people can get what
they need. It really would not bother me if someone returned my
gift to do this (although maybe others feel differently.)
However, I almost always pool my money together with others to
purchase one of the bigger ticket items. Most parents who
realize that they need a sippy cup can scrape together the few
dollars to buy one. However, putting together the money to buy a
car seat might be trickier. Plus, it has the bonus of making my
gift shopping easier. (ie. My mom buys and wraps the gift. I
just hand her the cash!) ;D
#Post#: 48330--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: bopper Date: March 6, 2020, 1:40 pm
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Baby shower gifts I can remember: my mom got us a stroller and
one of my friends got us a blanket and some other stuff at a
consignment store. It wasn't expensive but it was useful and fit
their budget.
#Post#: 48331--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Gellchom Date: March 6, 2020, 1:56 pm
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Mary Sunshine Rain made a really interesting point about the
difference between wedding and baby gifts.
I don't feel obligated to choose gifts from registries, and I
resent any pressure placed on people to do so.
That said, I agree about things like nursery decor, car seat,
stroller, etc., that really should be chosen by the recipients
(like place settings of china, linens, and flatware for wedding
gifts). Either buy the one they chose, or get something else.
Those are usually group, grandparent, or aunt and uncle gifts
anyway.
But for sippy cups and sleepers, like spatulas and cutting
boards for weddings, I don't think it's a problem at all to buy
something they didn't preselect, even if they did register for
different ones. You usually need multiples of those things
anyway, and if you get this one instead of that one, so what?
Either just use it, or exchange/return it, or regift it.
For baby gifts, lately I like to crochet a blanket, but my go-to
gift is books. I don't look to the registry for that -- in
fact, I'd probably avoid any books they registered, because
someone else will get them those. If they already have the
books I send, they can easily save them for the next time they
need a gift for a child or exchange them. But every child
should have lots of books. I choose a few picture books and a
few chapter books, and I pick a few that they will know
(Charlotte's Web, Ferdinand) and some that they might not but
that I thought were really terrific when my kids were little
(The Philharmonic Gets Dressed, Katy and the Big Snow). I used
to like A Child's Garden of Verses, but it has some racist stuff
in there. Maybe there are new editions that don't.
For second or later children, or for the big sibling, it might
be something goofier like Fun with Dude and Betty, so they can
learn proper use of "bogus" and "harshing his mellow."
#Post#: 48383--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: jazzgirl205 Date: March 8, 2020, 5:58 pm
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What a lot of people don't know is that the new mother gets a
discount if she buys from her own registry after the baby is
born. That's why registries contain big ticket items. Most new
mothers don't really expect people to buy the big things. My DD
received a lot of gifts but only a couple from her registry -
which was fine because all her gifts were better than what she
registered. I'm pretty sure the mother will use whatever you
give.
#Post#: 48408--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 9, 2020, 7:50 am
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[quote author=jazzgirl205 link=topic=1649.msg48383#msg48383
date=1583708280]
What a lot of people don't know is that the new mother gets a
discount if she buys from her own registry after the baby is
born. That's why registries contain big ticket items. Most new
mothers don't really expect people to buy the big things. My DD
received a lot of gifts but only a couple from her registry -
which was fine because all her gifts were better than what she
registered. I'm pretty sure the mother will use whatever you
give.
[/quote]
That's a really good point that I forgot about. Whether the
parents get a discount or it gives me an idea of something to go
together and purchase, I don't see a problem with including some
big ticket items on the registry. In fact, I think that the most
helpful registries include a variety of price points.
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