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#Post#: 48267--------------------------------------------------
Registries
By: kidsandme Date: March 4, 2020, 7:52 pm
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I am finding out that I don't like baby shower registries as
much as wedding registries.
The idea of buying a baby sippy cup vs elegant wine glasses,
just doesn't appeal to me. Part of it could be that my friends
have started registering at the higher end stores, which charge
a bit more for the same item I could find at a different
department store.
My other thing about the baby registry is that, with myself
already having the experience of kids, a lot of the things
listed on the registery(and at the price listed) is not really
needed.
If I don't buy off the registry, I should stay to the generic
clothes, or toys for the baby rather than buying a baby blanket,
that is different than the one registered for?
Another question I thought of is do you actually remember who
gave what from your registery when using said item, especailly
if it isn't a big ticket item.
Like if I gave baby wipes, shampoo, etc, etc. This wouldn't seem
as memrobale vs getting a stroller or crib.
One last question is, would someone register for multiple/
similar items(variety of sippy cups or blankets) on a registry
in order to have a variety of items for guests to choose from,
but would return some items back to the store, in order to get
credit to buy few of the pricier needed items for baby?
#Post#: 48272--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Jem Date: March 5, 2020, 5:46 am
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Give whatever you want to give, but generally speaking I think
if someone tells you what they want you should believe them.
Getting someone a cheaper or even different version is more
likely to result in a gift not being used (so basically throwing
your money away). So for me, I decide how much I want spend and
purchase something off the registry in that amount.
My daughter is 11 and I still remember that my friend Angela
gave me a “starter pack” of baby toiletries. Not on my registry,
not expensive, used and appreciated! Also consumable.
But if I had registered for a specific mobile and had been
gifted a cheaper version that didn’t match the decor for the
room I would have said thank you and never used the cheaper
mobile. I registered for the mobile I intended to use, and would
have purchased that mobile for myself had it not been gifted,
but I wasn’t going to decorate based on someone else’s taste.
(Not a true story, just an illustration of why I buy off the
registry).
#Post#: 48278--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: Rose Red Date: March 5, 2020, 9:01 am
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As with all registries (wedding, baby, etc), buy what you can
afford. It's what they want, whether they end up needing it or
not. New parents have to learn for themselves. If you don't want
to buy off the registry, go ahead and buy something else. Like
the PP said, consumables like diapers, baby shampoo, wipes, etc.
are always welcome.
[quote author=kidsandme link=topic=1649.msg48267#msg48267
date=1583373131]
One last question is, would someone register for multiple/
similar items(variety of sippy cups or blankets) on a registry
in order to have a variety of items for guests to choose from,
but would return some items back to the store, in order to get
credit to buy few of the pricier needed items for baby?
[/quote]
I'm sorry, but this really raised my eyebrows. If parents find
they don't need that many sippy cups, they are perfectly fine to
return them to buy something they really need. Once a gift is
given, they can do with it what they want. That said, one former
coworker gleefully told us that he and his wife returned all
physical wedding gifts for cash. You just don't know what every
individual feels about gifts or what their plans are.
It seems like you want your gifts to be treasured and they think
of you every time they look at it. Lovely as that sounds, that's
not the way it works out many times. Especially baby gifts since
they usually have a short self life and lean more towards
practical than sentimental.
#Post#: 48280--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: bopper Date: March 5, 2020, 9:14 am
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I look at the registry as "what type of things do they need"...
Like they are not asking for a stroller so they already have a
stroller.
or They need bathtub stuff and although they haven't asked for
the ducky towel I will get one becasue I know how cute they are.
or just i will get them a "sick baby" kit because they don't
know they need that...baby tylenol, snot sucker, thermometer,
etc.
#Post#: 48283--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: BeagleMommy Date: March 5, 2020, 11:43 am
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The things I treasured from my baby shower were the handmade
things like the afghan made by my MIL and the photo album cover
made by a friend. No, I don't remember who gave me specific
clothes, toys, or even big ticket items.
Once you give a gift you can't control what the gift receiver
does with it. If the mother to be doesn't think she needs three
sippy cups she can return them for another item. As far as
items on the registry you feel are unnecessary, don't buy them.
New parents learn quickly what is necessary and what is not.
A coworker of BeagleDaddy gave us a silver cup and rattle when
BeagleBoy was born. By the time he was able to hold the rattle
(it was a bit heavy for a newborn) he wasn't interested in
rattles. The cup never got used because it didn't have a
no-spill lid and I wasn't putting my carpeting at risk.
#Post#: 48284--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: TootsNYC Date: March 5, 2020, 11:48 am
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[quote]One last question is, would someone register for
multiple/ similar items(variety of sippy cups or blankets) on a
registry in order to have a variety of items for guests to
choose from, but would return some items back to the store, in
order to get credit to buy few of the pricier needed items for
baby?
[/quote]
They're not supposed to. If someone did register for a variety
of sippy cups, my own assumption would be that they didn't know
which ones they would prefer, and they figured they'd do their
experimenting via the gifts that people are giving.
I see so many guests who really want a registry; they don't want
to think, etc. And so moms/brides-to-be will put more on their
registry simply because they feel a little pressured to do so.
The truth is that for babies, there really are only a very few
things that people need. And most guests aren't going to buy a
big-ticket item like a car seat or a crib (maybe a group would).
So I think there's a much bigger assumption that guests will buy
things not on the registry. I never feel any qualms about buying
non-registry gifts for ANY occasion, but especially for babies,
I really don't.
As far as remembering whether you bought wipes, etc.--I think
you are right, that nuts-and-bolts items like that don't really
get remembered. If that's a goal, you might want to strategize
differently. (If you're a practical-gift giver, you could get a
lot of memorability by buying a huge supply of baby wipes,
maybe; then every time they use a baby wipe--for the next 5
years, probably--they'll remember that you gave them the hugest
supply of wipes.)
But baby shower presents are normally (even in my ultra-generous
ILs' family, where a $70 shower present is considered kind of
cheap) not that expensive.
#Post#: 48294--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: lakey Date: March 5, 2020, 4:25 pm
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I think that bridal and baby shower registries are a convenience
for the giver and the receiver, however there is no obligation
to give people a gift from the registry. Most people in my area
don't throw baby showers. The last one I went to was years ago.
The registry gifts were all more expensive items. I gave a
clothing item and a toy that were not on the registry. Most of
the other guests gave similar gifts. The more expensive gifts
were from the new grandmas and the mom's siblings. I suspect
that this was the intention. I think people register for more
expensive items because they know that there are people close to
them who want to give them something like that. The mom seemed
happy with all the gifts.I've never known anyone who acted as if
they were entitled to get only gifts from the registry. I don't
know anyone who would register for items with the intention of
returning them for cash. Usually when they return items it is
due to being unable to use them, or receiving multiples. I don't
mind a gift being returned because I'm practical and wouldn't
want it to go to waste.
I do think that if you buy gifts that aren't on the registry it
is a good idea to get items that are generally usable by anyone
and that they need more than one of, such as onesies, hooded
towels, sleepers, and so on.
#Post#: 48295--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: LurkingGurl Date: March 5, 2020, 4:29 pm
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I think there is an intrinsic difference between the gifts given
at baby showers and the gifts given at weddings.
For weddings, one is outfitting a home, something that will be
somewhat static for a long time--so, you can buy the fine china
or the wine glasses.
For baby showers, you are giving things that can be used for the
baby. And the baby isn't going to be a baby forever. Many of
the items might also be used for a second baby... That baby
will also not be a baby forever.
Sleepers and play-sets may only be used for 2-3 months if at
all. Strollers might be used for a few years, but beyond
that...
Now, certain family members may want to give things that are
longer lasting--a quilt, crocheted blanket, savings bonds. But,
generally, the purpose of the shower is so the parents have the
basic necessities they will need to care for baby.
So, big difference there. And maybe that's why it doesn't
appeal to you. You want to give something meaningful that is
going to hold that meaning for a long time. I think it's
possible to hit that mark with wedding gifts, but not even
expected with baby gifts.
If you liked, you could try and be creative--maybe giving a gift
certificate for Mixtiles, where the parents could get several of
their own pictures framed and sent to them. Those would likely
be kept for years and years. A savings bond would need to be
kept until maturation and then the grown child would use it for
something.
Even blankets only go so far. I was lucky that my first two
really took to the crocheted blankets that my great aunt made
for them. My 3rd kid was more attached to the beautiful Amish
quilt my uncle gave him. You never know what's going to take;
what's going to stand the test of time, become an heirloom
rather than a hand me down to someone else.
But, with sippy cups and spoons, diapers and burp cloths, you
know it will be put to good use!
#Post#: 48296--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: MiriamCatriona Date: March 5, 2020, 4:54 pm
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If they register for the Munchkin 4 Pack Baby Plates for $14
from Buy Buy Baby, it's perfectly okay to buy the Munchkin 4
Pack Baby Plates for $10 at Target. Just contact Buy Buy Baby
and see if they'll mark the plates as purchased (some will, some
won't - if they end up with a duplicate, they'll either have 8
plates or return the ones from the registry store). For an item
like that, it's probably okay to buy the First Years or Ikea
version if it's similar. A different blanket or sleeper or toy
is fine, since people need/use multiple of those items. I
wouldn't buy a different car seat or stroller or bedding set
though, as those are items the parents may have carefully
researched and/or selected to match their personal tastes.
You don't have to buy from the registry, but you should be
mindful of what they have selected and how your purchase fits
with their requests. If they're asking for bottles, a microwave
bottle sterilizer, and a bottle warmer, probably don't show up
with a breastfeeding pillow and box of nursing pads!
#Post#: 48297--------------------------------------------------
Re: Registries
By: TootsNYC Date: March 5, 2020, 5:01 pm
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I actually give people a Kushies nursing pillow even if they're
going to bottle feed, because in those early days when the baby
is so small, even my husband and my mom found it really useful
to keep their arm from getting fatigued when they were holding
the baby for a long time.
I usually mention that in the note.
I also don't require of my baby-shower presents that they be
guaranteed to be useful. I'm willing to take a chance, or to buy
someone the opportunity to try out a product. Partly because I'm
not spending quite as much money; partly because I think their
own tastes aren't quite as important--the baby's preferences
will matter--nor are they as locked in (because they haven't
used a nursing pillow to bottle-feed a baby, and so they
wouldn't know whether they'll use it or not.
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